At My Wit's End with BF(vent, long)

LuH55 · July 2011

I am feeling so frustrated. I feel like I'm having the problems most women have at 2 wks pp. My LO is 7 wks old and my nipples/left breast are in a lot of pain... BF has not come easily, which I know it doesn't for a lot of people...when I was at the hospital, I would call the nurse in to help me BF bc I had no idea what I was doing, and I knew it was important to have a good latch early on. I wanted to make sure we had that. It seemed like any of the nurses would just say "oh yeah, that's good", pretty quickly, but I figured they would know, so I went with it. I saw an LC once, but it was pretty discouraging.

The first few weeks went like most people's, I imagine-baby was a sleepy eater, I was sore, cracked, & bleeding, went through engorgement, etc. People kept saying I was getting through the worst of it. During the first few weeks, I also saw a lactation counselor who assessed my latch and said it was fine, that any pain was just bc of cracks and bleeding, and being new to BFing. I also joined a mommy-baby group and the LC there helped us with our latch.

Well, somewhere in weeks 3-4 I developed thrush, so that was supposed to be the cause of the pain at that point. I did Nystatin ointment & LO was on Nystatin liquid for two weeks. I also got Bactroban added to the ointment per the LC at my mommy group. After 2 weeks of treatment and sterilizing/cleaning everything, the pain had not gotten much better, if at all. I actually went to a Dr. who specializes in BF medicine.

At that appointment, the Dr. again helped me with a new position to get a better latch. We didn't use any pillows (I use a boppy here at home). Sometimes the latch was still hurting, but we worked with it until it didnt feel painful. She took cultures to see if I had mastitis and/or thrush, and felt for clogged ducts. I felt encouraged after the visit.

All that to say, that now, a week later, I actually feel like things have gotten worse. The new position that the Dr. showed me is pretty hard to re-create by myself. (It's where the baby is sort of sitting in my lap, and like i said, w./ no pillows...she is 12 lb and has a big head, so I feel like it's really akward and hard on my body)!! I don't want to go back to the boppy though, bc the Dr. was emphasizing having the chin come to the breast first, and that is hard w./ the boppy, at least for me.

Anyways, to sum alll of this up (sorry so long!), every single time the baby latches on, it hurts. I'm pretty sure I know what the latch is supposed to look like, after having 3 ppl assess it, and watching tutorials online. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but no matter what I do, we cannot get a good latch....it's extremely frustrating, and extremely painful!!! Every feeding is a battle. I keep trying and trying, and will break the latch if it hurts-since that's every time, poor LO gets frustrated and starts crying, and I can't stand it--I feel so bad!! My only choice is to finally settle on one of the bad latches, so at least she can get her milk. I don't know what else to do...I'm feeling absolutely hopeless. I am going to make an appt w./ another LC, but frankly, I'm losing my faith in that. Does anyone know anything else I could do, or have a similar experience?? Sorry to sound whiney or anything, but like I said, i am at my wit's end!!! I am desperate to keep BFing the baby, but also desperate for the pain to end. TIAn Sad

Bekah5000 · July 2011

I hated BFing and I still kinda do but not because of the pain anymore. I only hate it now because he falls asleep after 5 min...a nipple shield really helps with the pain. Wink

kas80 · July 2011

I feel your pain (literally), we've had a ton of problems as well. First her latch was too shallow and no matter how many times we went to the LC we could not repeat a decent latch on our own at home, I had huge bleeding cracks, I'd cry every time she'd want to eat, then we got thrush... it was just a battle.

It's just been lately that actual feeding doesn't hurt. The initial latch is still toe curling painful more times then not though. The only suggestion I have is that when I reach my wit's end with the pain/discomfort and am seriously considering throwing in the towel I will pump and bottlefeed anywhere from a few feedings in a row to a full day. Gives my nipples time to heal and for me to get a breather from the pain since for me pumping doesn't hurt at all.

One thing you may want to try is to use a lanolin free nipple cream if you are using lanolin now. I just discovered that I think I'm allergic to the Lanolin and it was making my nipple pain worse.

Jenniferk08 · July 2011

I EP so I have no advice but I wanted to congratulate you. You have made it 7wks so far, that is amazing and you should feel proud of that.

Mj was lazy and didn't really want to latch when we tried BF. For me, it was more important that he received BM regardless of how he received it. I've never looked back and never regretted my decision to EP.

katlizabeth · July 2011

You are doing awesome! I felt the exact same way with ds-and we didn't work hard enough to get a good latch, because I, like you, knew the baby needed milk, let's just get this nursing done with! The pain did stop for us, and I successfully nursed for 17.5 months. With dd, when she latched in the hospital, it was like...woah. This is what they mean when they say that nursing shouldn't hurt and just feel like a little tugging. My only advice-use nipple cream a lot. Like pp said, maybe lanolin free nipple cream. Possibly ep for a day or two and bottle feed (if you can) or just for a few feedings to give your nipples a rest (this really helped me, even though some people say pumping hurts more than nursing, I don't agree). Is it possibly that your baby is tongue tied? I don't know much about it, but I know it can prevent a good latch. As far as nursing position-I know they say, ALWAYS bring the baby to your boob. I don't. I've nursed for 21 months total and I've never done that (I've tried, doesn't work for me). I position my baby in the cross cradle hold, holding his or her head, hold my boob with the other hand and then lean forward. After the initial latch, I then can adjust my body and the baby to a more comfortable position for me, but I could never get the latch right when I brought baby to me. Good luck to you-I wish the best for you! (oh, ibprophin (spelling is wrong) worked for some pain for me-obviously you don't want to take it forever, but it helped to get me though some times)

VMRRN23 · July 2011

First of all-congrats on making it this far. It is not easy. I had cracked nipples where you could actually see an open wound until DS was 9 weeks old before they really healed (the LC siad it was actually one of the worst she's seen), so I understand your pain there.

Can you have an LC come to your house? That is what I did. It cost $150 and she was here for just over an hour. She watched him latch, me pump, etc.

I have no idea how to nurse without a pillow when LO is only 7 weeks. My boobs are huge (36H) and I couldn't nurse without a pillow or boppy until DS was 3.5 months old, and I still use a pillow or boppy for when we are home.

DS big issue with latching was that he would seem to latch ok (after the initial toe curling pain because I still had craters in my nipples), but then he would kind of lay back, and just have his head turned. When I supported his back and made sure he was on his side when nursing (you know, belly to belly), it made a HUGE difference, and I finally started to heal.

The LC also said to me (I had her come to the house when he was 9 weeks old and I just started healing) that DS may just have had a shallow latch-either because of his mouth size (but he was a 8lb 12 ounce baby) or because my letdown was almost immediate. So she compared that to drinking from a hose. If water is flowing hard and fast from a hose, and you can't drink that quick, you'll tighten up your mouth (or in his case, not latch as deep), so you don't get to much water and choke. Again, just a theory.

I never did figure out why I had the cracks that wouldn't really heal. I used APNO cream initally for the pain (which was a godsend), but that didn't work. Nothing really worked until we had that position change where I made him stay on his side belly to belly to nurse.

Sorry if this isn't much help, but I really think it was just that slight position change that effected how deep and at what angle he took the nipple and aereola in.

bgf1 · July 2011

I don't have personal experience with this, but I know 2 bfing Mama's who had LO with tongue ties that were missed, who had terrible pain with bfing. They also saw several professionals about their difficulties, one finally had the tongue tie caught at 2 months. My aunt is a nurse in the special care nursery and she said these are commonly missed. It may be worth asking you Dr. or LC to double check.

mari_gold · July 2011

Are you sure the thrush is gone? If you still have it, it's going to hurt to nurse, no matter what position you use.

mrs_bella · July 2011

Congrats on making it this far! I was also at my wit's end when I was at the point you were at. Honestly, I can say that my LO was at least 10-12 weeks before we finally had it down, had the latch working well and didn't have any problems. It really can take time. I know it is hard--it can be such a roller coaster and you find yourself asking "if it's supposed to be so damn natural then why is it so much WORK?!' Hang in there; I was glad I did. :-)