one more thing I don't need....(re: mammogram)

lhcooper

So last week I go for my first mammogram.  I turn 40 in just a few weeks, but I was going beforehand because we are now thinking of using Shady Grove Fertility in MD for their totally guaranteed-or-your-money-back egg donor program, and they require that you have a mammogram if you're 40 or older.  So, ok, I think, let's get it done already.  I go, I tell them I'm ovulating and that we're TTC, and I wear the little shield, and it all goes fine.  Then they call me that same afternoon and say they need me to come back in, that it's nothing to worry about, just "architectural distortion" which means they didn't get a clear picture of one breast. 

I go in this morning to get the re-do, and that's when I learn that it's not "architectural distortion," it's that they saw something in the right breast that doesn't look like the other one.  So, ok, f*ck.  But now I tell them that we're TTC (I also had mentioned this on the phone, but whatever) and that now, if we've been successful (but probably not), it could be implanting.  So they decide ok, they should do an ultrasound instead of the mammogram just to be prudent.  Lying on that bed was so terrifying as the tech did the ultrasound....seemed to take forever.  She goes away, I'm having a panic attack, she comes back in with the radiologist (at least the tech had warned me that might happen).  The radiologist says that the ultrasound revealed a cyst, that she doesn't see cancer, and that's why she wanted to do the ultrasound right away.  This is, I suppose, the very good news that I need to keep in mind.  But still, she says, we need those diagnostic images of this breast completed, so I need to come back when/if I get my period next week.  I made an appointment for next Friday, by when AF should arrive UNLESS my cycle goes to 32 days (or unless I'm KU), but who knows what's going on since I O'd late in this, my first cyle since IVF.

Meanwhile, I've got my phone consult with Shady Grove Fertility--the first step before an actual appointment--scheduled for next Tuesday afternoon, before this is all resolved, and it was hard enough to get that, so I'm not changing it, but I'm going to have to say something like (this was the radiologist's advice) I'm "finishing up mammographic imaging."  

Meanwhile, I'm sorry, but this was/is a REALLY SHITTY and SCARY experience for a first mammogram, and even though the radiologist told me it wasn't cancer, she was awfully serious about the whole thing and she has still scared the hell out of me.

AAAGGGHHH!!!

lhcooper

But see, that's the thing, it's not totally over, because I've got to do that mammogram next week.  Why isn't the ultrasound enough? I've been telling myself that it's because, having found something, they want to get lots of pictures of it for the record so that they can know that everything is still ok at my next mammogram.  That's right, right?  It's not like next week they're going to say "oh, that wasn't a cyst, it's actually cancer," right?  RIGHT???

solarflare

Oh man. I am so sorry. This process just never lets up, does it? Ugh - my mom had some distortion on her mammograms and we were all scared sh*tless, but it all turned out fine, as I am sure yours will. How frustrating though. These medical procedures are just scary sometimes...

benoitfan

I know it's difficult, but try not to worry.  If there was something to be concerned about, the tech likely would not have told you anything and would have waited for a doc to give you the results.  The tech told you what they did to give you comfort, so as to minimize worry, not to stress you out even further.  Every breast is different, so just because they saw something on one that was different from the other isn't really that big a deal.  Cysts, swollen lymph nodes, thickened tissue, etc, all look different on the mammogram and most of the time, they are absolutely nothing to worry about.  I had to have a mammogram in my early 30s because I had pain under my right breast and into my armpit.  My doc was just being thorough.  The procedure was scarey and uncomfortable.  They did the procedure and had to redo one breast because there was a problem with one of the images.  This happens frequently.  They just want to complete the series so they have a full record.  Relax and don't worry, they wouldn't have told you anything if there was something seriously wrong, they would have waited for a doc to tell you so they could answer all your questions and prevent you from running all the worst case scenarios in your head.

As for your telephone appt with the fertility clinic, just tell them you have a mammogram booked for later in the week.  That's all they need to know at this point, if they even need to know that much.  Think positive...it really does make a huge difference and maybe the cyst will have disappeared by the time they redo the mammogram.

owlprof

Totally crappy experience.  I'm so sorry -- it is definitely something you don't need.

I don't know if my experience would help put your mind at ease, but....I found a lump in my breast two years ago and my doctor sent me for an ultrasound. As soon as the doctor looked at it (~ 15 minutes after the tech did the imaging), he came in and told me it was BIRADS 4, which is suspicious for malignancy and gave me the odds of it being cancer right away (I can't remember what they were now).  Within 3 days, I had a mammogram and a biopsy completed.  (and it was negative).

I have another friend whose ultrasound was BIRADS 5 (95% chance of malignancy) and within the week she had a double mastectomy. 

My point is that if there was a decent chance what they saw on the ultrasound was not benign, they would likely be moving you through at a faster pace. 

I hope this helps you relax a bit.  But it is definitely a scary experience.  I remember when I went in for my biopsy, my blood pressure was so high (from anxiety) that they were worried they couldn't do the procedure.  Hang in there, try your best to relax, and I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

boymamaco

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I agree that it is terrifying! I had to do a mammogram before starting at CCRM. An abnormality came back on my left breast so I had to go back in for another round of images. It took forever, and I ended having to do both a second mammogram and an ultrasound b/c they couldn't quite get a good look at it with the mammogram. I'm glad they were extra cautious but holy moly was I frightened. Aaaanyway, I'm super duper happy for you Coop that its nothing and I'm even  more excited for your possibilities at Shady Grove.

Funny, I was just thinking about you earlier today and how I hadn't seen you in awhile. Hope you are manuevering through all these decisions OK!

Mrs.McIrish

This is another wonderful experience we women get to endure. In the spirit of trying to Make you feel better, I get mammograms and breast MRI's alternating Every 6 months because I have the breast cancer "gene". I have been testing since 12/08 and I have had an u/s when "something" looked weird on a mamm. It was clear. Of the 3 MRI's I have had, I had to redo 2 since the pictures did not come out correctly. It sucks etc but as long as it is clear, that is all that matters. Hang in there!

lhcooper

Hey, thanks everyone; you really have made me feel better.  You know, I've been on a couple of other boards lately, and this is the only one I feel really at home--and now I remember why....

mtlaurel

Sounds like a TERRIFYING experience - absolutely not what you need or deserve right now. I'm glad that it's not cancer, and I hope it can all get resolved quickly. Good luck.

LLB430

I ha this happen to me back in March.  I have a cluster of cysts.  I ended up having an MRI and all is fine and I was given the green light to ttc. But it was quite stressful going through it.  We have a strong family history and even though I am BRCA negative they wanted me to go a head iwth the MRI...so be prepared that they may suggest this or at least that you get monitored in the next 6 months after this intial imaging is complete.  Let them know you are ttc and need to get a hold on what is goig on ASAP.  I had a hard time getting my insurance to cover the MRI but after seeing a breast specialist instead of my OB it was approved.  I am 35 and been having mammos for years now.

Good Luck to you, it is very stressful but will likely be just fine!!! 

 

Country Girl in the City

I don't have any advice for you but I did want to say I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

On a side note, I am also going with Shady Grove.  Have they been easy to work with during this process?  I have read mixed reviews.

lindaeverly

It's amazing that so many of us have had similar experiences with mammograms!  I have a strong family history of breast cancer & have been getting mammograms yearly since I turned 35.  I contemplate getting BRAC analysis, but am a little too scared to get the results.  I too had a questionable mammogram & had to get an ultrasound to follow-up.  Luckily it was nothing, but it was the most stressful week of my life!  I am glad that you're scare has turned out to be just that, a scare. 

 I am so happy for you that you are moving forward with the egg donor program!!!

UOduckBride2be

I'm a little tardy to the support party on this one, but Coop, this sucks A$$$$$!  I am so sorry, seriously karma needs to get with the pregram and realize that it's time to swing in the other direction for you.  You have definately hit your limit on the stressful side and it's time for some fabulous news for you...I can feel it!  Do a little something nice for yourself today if you can, squeeze it in whenever you can and don't let yourself feel guilty about it.

Take Care!