Secondary IF

I never thought I could feel pain this bad...

We are losing J. 
I don't know when, for they have yet to give me a time line. I knew this could happen but I was under the impression from the start we would likely be her forever home. I do not know where to go from here or how to be strong for my other 2. 

Our Girls
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AquinnahDori
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

Re: I never thought I could feel pain this bad...

  • Oh, I can't even imagine how hard that must be.  I'm so sorry.
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  • Oh, I am so sorry. I know how much you love your girls and I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Where will she go from there? That just seems so unfair. My heart goes out to you. ((hugs))
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  • Oh no!  I am so sorry!  That has to be so hard.  I know that no words can make anything better, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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  • Oh, I am so, so sorry.  You and J and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine how that must feel. My heart breaks for you.
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  • RMR13RMR13 member
    I'm so sorry. Will be praying for all of you.
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  • I'm so sorry.
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  • Oh no, I am so so so sorry!
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    Our Twin Baby + a Big Girl Blog

    And with the delivery trifecra of one twin vaginal, one c-section with general anesthesia for twin B, Spencer and Sidney joined us at 35 weeks exactly on June 18.

  • tosh24tosh24 member
    I'm so sorry. I have thought about you since you first posted a few weeks/month back that this could happen - I was really hoping it wasn't going to. I can't imagine what you all must be going through. Your family is in my thoughts. (((HUGS)))
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • Saying I am sorry sounds so silly because I am way beyond sorry...there are no words.  I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling.  You are an angel for giving J the amazing life she has.  {{{HUGS}}}
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    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • I am so sorry H4M.  You are incredibly strong and brave to even take a baby knowing that there is a possibility that it might not be permanant.  I don't think I would have the stregnth to do that.  You gave that baby love when she needed it the most.  I take my hat off to you.
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  • LuckyHLuckyH member
    Oh sweetie... I am so, so, so sorry.  You've given her an amazing 8+ months.  You've loved her when she needed it.  You're a blessing to her.  I can't imagine how you must be feeling.  You are so strong to have taken her in, loved her and now letting her go.  Take care and let me know if you ever need to talk. <3
    imageimageimageimage m/c at 8w4d - 10/2/09 baby girl Ruth Elise
  • I am so sorry.  (((hugs)))
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    TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
  • Oh no!   ((HUGS)) my heart is breaking for you?  I know how important J is to you!!  If you need to chat send a PM!!!!  Hang in there and keep me informed.
    Alyssa born 6/14/05 at 8 lbs 2oz - Ashley born 3/27/10 at 6 lbs 13oz
    We had 2 years of IF trying to conceive #2 and one loss during that time. We are currently trying for #3! had another loss the end of June
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  • Ugh. So though. I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Hang in there!
    Conceived DD after 15 cycles--- TTC #2 since 11/10---Me- Poor egg quality and supply---DH- Poor count and motility---2 rounds 75IU Follistim/IUI-BFN---5/12 150IU Follistim/IUI-Over-produced! Converted to IVF! 0 fertilized:( Rescue ICSI performed. 2 embryos transfered-BFN

    ---------Game Over---------

    Moving on as a family of 3
    Lou's Infertility News

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