Pregnancy Buddy lost baby

TUGOsQueen

I'm so heartbroken. My dear friend that was due a week after me lost her baby last night. She's now on bedrest and horrible bleeding, etc.

I feel guilty even complaining about morning sickness or any other discomfort. 

I'm not looking fwd to the time that I'm having the baby and she's not. Just sucks. 

She's in good spirits about for the most part but I know it hurts her. 

Any one have to deal with a close friend's loss at the same time they were pregnant?

TLizzy

My good friend/co-worker lost her baby last week. She was two weeks ahead of me. I had a previous m/c so I understand her pain... but it is still so hard...

avalovesart

So sorry, I know it won't be easy for your friend. But, at the same time, I'm sure she wouldn't want you to withdraw sharing your pregnancy stories. Maybe after a few weeks, why don't you ask her how she feels about you talking about your pregnancy? I'm thinking it will be a relief to both of you to have that conservation sometime in the near future.

jlr557

Oh my gosh I am so sorry. I unfortunately was on the other end of your situation, I had lost a baby at 14 weeks, my very close friend had the same exact due date as me. We had talked or text every day during our pregnancies together. My advice to you is to enjoy your pregnancy, try not to feel "weird" or act different around her, that will just make it worse.  When you do have your baby still share info with her, but don't over do it. Of course you want to share your joy and excitement but its still hard for your friend. My friends son is now 4 months and I love seeing pics of him, but just recently started to love this. The first month or so was very difficult. Again, I am so sorry for your friends loss, everyones grieves differently so I'm not sure if my advice will help but I felt like I should still share it.

cathom7

I've been on your friend's side before...  I was due a week after this girl at work that I was friends with and I lost the baby at 10.3 weeks.  I won't lie.  It was hard to be around her after that.  This time, she's due a day before me!  And I'm still kind of terrified it means I'll lose this baby, as INsane as that sounds, and even tho I've had a successful pregnancy since then....  The first bit will be hard for her.  Just go by her cues...

soralette

Oof. A friend of mine was due the day after we are... And she lost her baby a month ago. It was heartbreaking. We ended up talking about it a couple of weeks after, and she said she did still want to hear about my pregnancy, so I'm doing my best to keep info at her pace!

NY-allie

I've been on the other size of the coin.  I lost my baby at 11.5 weeks and my co-worker who was due the week before me has a 3 month old now.  She would come over and talk to me about her pg as if nothing was wrong.  I hated her and still do.  Every time she stopped by my desk I tried to find some excuse because it hurt so much.  I still can't look at pictures of her baby without wanting to cry.  Give her time, let her ask questions about your pg.  Talk to her - about other things.  When she's ready she'll come to you.  Remember that everyone grieves in their own way and some people take it harder than others.

firstmom2b

Even after getting through my early MC, when my friend got pregnant a few months later and I wasn't - it was really hard! Now we're pregnant together, and of course it was in the back of my mind, if I MC again ... this is going to be even harder than it would've been the first time around!

I'd avoid preggo topics for a good while, without getting estranged, but I think honesty is the best policy. Just ask her what she needs from you, I think if you can confront her and then turn the topic to helping her TTC again or something, that would be better than ignoring it.