WWYD?

klreese0213

A girlfriend of mine has offered to make cupcakes for both my baby shower (oct) and bridal shower (jan). baby was not planned and wedding planning was in full swing. anyway- The friend has offered to make the cupcakes. she is recently trying to start her own cupcake business. My sister and mom are hosting both showers. Since my friend offered the cupcakes, i got the impression that i didn't have to pay for them. Although i know she's working really hard on them.

Is it necessary for me to pay or them and/or give her a gift for bring them? no one asked, but it's a very nice surprise. If anything, maybe a gift card or a small gift..?

dragon_chica

Assuming that since she's starting her own cupcake business than these cupcakes won't be your rinky dink cupcakes with frosting slapped on it.  So I would give her a little something as a token of my gratitude.  I might even see if I could make a little sign listing the cupcake flavor(s) and in small print put her business's name on it.  Or, when people rave about it mention her business.

mgoshert

Has she given you any indication that these are her gift(s) to you for the events? If not then I agree you should give her something.  A nice tip, a small gift and card, etc.  On the other hand, if she has said that these will be her gifts to you in lue of baby gifts or wedding presents then all that is necessary would be a thank you card, a very nice one. 

ellewoodsSC

It would be logical to assume that she's providing the cupcakes for free, but I hear plenty of stories about friends mad with one another because of misunderstandings, especially if it involves money.

Just so there's full disclosure and avoidance of an awkward, friendship-breaking kind of fall out from this, maybe you should clarify if she's fully volunteering all her efforts on the cupcakes.  Better to ask her directly than get opinions from a board of strangers.  You could be like, "Oh my mom wanted to know how much she should contribute towards the cupcakes? (sometimes if there's a large   crowd to accommodate, people could use some help for raw ingredients) 

If she says, "don't worry, I'm taking care of everything" then that's great and definitely get her a gift certificate or a thank you present for her effort and I like the part about advertising her business at your shower.

If she expects to be compensated for her efforts, then you might have to consider if its reasonable.  If it's not, you can say "oh, well my host didn't plan for that much in the dessert budget"

 

 

 

 

CourtneyR2N

I would probably ask her how much you owe her and see what she says.

Then has a thank you, you can tell her to make sure to bring business cards and you will put them out by the cupcakes so everyone will know where they came from.

JenWhite123

CourtneyR2N:

I would probably ask her how much you owe her and see what she says.

Then has a thank you, you can tell her to make sure to bring business cards and you will put them out by the cupcakes so everyone will know where they came from.

 

This.  But if she does provide them for free, I would still give her a TY gift of some sort...

cdymond

I guess I would also ask what I owe her.. but traditionally if someone offers to bring a snack or dessert to an event (even if it is their specialty) it's intended as a gift. i think the little sign advertising her business in front of them is a great idea, though. And i definitely don't agree with the giving her a thank you gift - I'd just give her a thank you card I think. 

ellewoodsSC

cdymond:

I guess I would also ask what I owe her.. but traditionally if someone offers to bring a snack or dessert to an event (even if it is their specialty) it's intended as a gift. i think the little sign advertising her business in front of them is a great idea, though. And i definitely don't agree with the giving her a thank you gift - I'd just give her a thank you card I think. 

Why, she's definitely going above and beyond the effort of a store-bought gift and chances are, she'll probably bring something for the LO as well?  I feel it's totally appropriate to recognize her effort in a special manner beyond a thank you card!  

cdymond

Because when I offer to bring something to someone's party that I've baked or made, I do not expect a gift in return for it ever. I don't expect anything, it's an act of kindness. And my family is the same way. All of our family bakes something and brings desserts, which - Yes - is going above and beyond. If I bought them thank-you GIFTS they would be really weirded out, especially for cupcakes. I think a thank you card and specific mention, absolutely should be done. 

weddingbells2010

ellewoodsSC:

 You could be like, "Oh my mom wanted to know how much she should contribute towards the cupcakes? (sometimes if there's a large   crowd to accommodate, people could use some help for raw ingredients) 

If she says, "don't worry, I'm taking care of everything" then that's great and definitely get her a gift certificate or a thank you present for her effort and I like the part about advertising her business at your shower.

If she expects to be compensated for her efforts, then you might have to consider if its reasonable.  If it's not, you can say "oh, well my host didn't plan for that much in the dessert budget"

 

This. better safe than sorry, because if she expects payment it might ruin the friendship if you're emptyhanded on the day of the shower (or even worse, she might expect it from your mom or other hosts and it could cause problems). 

klreese0213

Thanks for the input ladies.

I guess my hesitant to ask "how much do i owe you" runs into a different set of other issues. i'm not sure how my sister feels about someone providing dessert. the cake is a really important part of a baby shower. so i told my friend maybe she can make a fun flavor to advertise her business so that my sister can still do whatever cake she wishes. So, if i asked her what i owed i just feel it may be going over budget and stepping on my sister toes. IMO- i feel she has offered these. that i should not have to pay for them. I definitely don't mind giving her a thank you card or gift. and I definitely don't mind her putting her cards out, which was fully my intentions.

background- she's a very close friend from high school (about 10 years ago), i helped her mom plan her shower and helped with set up/running the shower/clean up. So maybe this is her way of returning the favor. ??

I know the smart thing would be to directly ask.. .but frankly i don't want to pay $35-40/dozen for cupcakes that we wouldn't have normally picked because of budget issues. I'm not trying to be snarky... but ya know.... :-/ Not that i don't feel her work is worth it, i definitely do! but i would never pay that much for a dozen cupcakes.

NewFamily09

I think if she's doing it for a shower, then she should offer her services to the hosts of the showers, not you.  And if your hosts want the cupcakes, then they can pay for it.  Youl should try to stay out of it as best you can.  You shouldn't really pay for food for your own shower.