Am I "overreacting"?

cocojack10

MIL comes to my house to watch boys while I work.  Occassionally, SIL will drop of one of her kids for MIL to watch for an hr or two, which doesn't bother me bc we have a nanny helping out as well. 

Anyway, on occassion, SIL will come to my house and stay there for hours visiting with MIL.  I discovered this a couple of wks ago.  She arrived while I was heading out, and later nanny told me SIL left around noon.  I find this a bit odd... am I the only one?

I don't care that she comes to visit, but maybe 1/2 hr?  But to be there 3 hrs?  At someone's house that isn't there?  Perhaps it is just me... please enlighten me.  LOL 

Thanks.

MrsLeanna

I think it depends on how comfortable she is there and how close you are. I wouldn't see it as being odd at all if my aunts or cousins were at my house with my mom while I wasn't here. I think it depends on your relationship with her and her comfort level. 

britishbride05

If SIL is helping out your MIL with the 3 of them, I wouldn't be too upset... however, I would be irritated that no one had asked me of DH.  Or not even asked, that no one had bothered to tell me that another person would be spending time at my house.  I'm not too closet o my SIL, so that would be my issue... if it were my mom watching the girls and my sister showed up, it wouldn't bother me at all, I'd have no issue whatsoever.  Maybe they told your DH and he just forgot to mention it to you?  (I know that's what would happen with my DH... he has a terrible memory lol)  

MommyToOBe

MrsLeanna:

I think it depends on how comfortable she is there and how close you are. I wouldn't see it as being odd at all if my aunts or cousins were at my house with my mom while I wasn't here. I think it depends on your relationship with her and her comfort level. 

this..

VandRicky

MrsLeanna:

I think it depends on how comfortable she is there and how close you are. I wouldn't see it as being odd at all if my aunts or cousins were at my house with my mom while I wasn't here. I think it depends on your relationship with her and her comfort level. 

ditto!

Albah

VandRicky:

MrsLeanna:

I think it depends on how comfortable she is there and how close you are. I wouldn't see it as being odd at all if my aunts or cousins were at my house with my mom while I wasn't here. I think it depends on your relationship with her and her comfort level. 

ditto!

Agree as well!  

SoonMrsCruz

It would bug me. But that's because my MIL talks A LOT! To the point that little Mason is fussing in her arms, but she is too wrapped up in a conversation with someone to help him. So I know someone over would distract her from caring for Mason the way I would like her to. But maybe your MIL is different. So like Leanna said, it depends on your comfort level with them.

cocojack10

I was still home yesterday when she dropped off nephew... at which point she asked "do you mind if I drop him off for just an hr?"  Of course I don't... but then I got home 4 hrs later, and he was still there (again, i don't mind, but don't abuse of my MIL either - it isn't easy to take care of 3 boys).  Plus, then SIL gets there with niece, and 2 other little cousins.  My boys were asleep, and all they do is cause noise which wake them up!  I had to keep shushing everyone so boys wouldn't wake up (they hadn't napped in AM bc playing with nephew, so I needed them to nap in PM).

Plus, it really bugs me that she's out and about with older niece, nephew is having fun with my boys, and baby niece (same age as my boys) is home with her nanny!  The poor little girl doesn't go out anywhere bc her mom only takes the older ones "bc it is easier."  SIGH.

MellyMelB

Honestly, my opinion on the MIL babysitting this is A)- well, if you do not mind it happening at your house - that its GREAT for your boys to have daily interraction with other kids and other adults besides you, DH, and your MIL. Its so important and I think so many kids are kept in a bubble.

If your mother in law does not feel abused - and you really don't mind - really let your MIL handle it.

C) But WHOA. She has a NANNY?! And yet she still leaves your nephew with your mom? Dude. Woman has got it made.

Which brings me to D) "Woman has got it made" - Nanny at home, MIL to watch nephew, does not have to work all day - while you do? This may be your problem. It would be mine. Because I would LOVE to be in the same situation, if I were to be honest. *stomps foot*

Mrs.HisOnly

Albah:

VandRicky:

MrsLeanna:

I think it depends on how comfortable she is there and how close you are. I wouldn't see it as being odd at all if my aunts or cousins were at my house with my mom while I wasn't here. I think it depends on your relationship with her and her comfort level. 

ditto!

Agree as well!  

Word. 

MrsJOSEnADRI

I totally understand.  MIL and SIL visit DD at my mom's house when I'm at work.  On the one hand, it's good because they get to visit her without intruding on our family QT during the weekends.  But, sometimes they overstimulate her and don't let her nap.  So, I guess it all depends on how she is with the babies.  Is she helping out or just there to chismiar?!

mrsjessnjorge

It's your house, your kids!! If it bothers you, talk to dh or you sil directly about it. Over the years I've had to learn the hard way to speak up for myself if I want something a certain way.

cocojack10

Mel - yes, maybe that is the problem... I'm a bit jealous of the fact that she doesn't work, and yet can do all these things while leaving kids behind.  Nephew isn't too fond of nanny, so SIL doesn't leave him and baby with nanny together, which is why he gets dropped of at my house (which isn't often, MAYBE once a wk).

MrsJOSEnADRI:

Is she helping out or just there to chismiar?!

Adri - I suppose she helps if baby needs diaper change, she'll grab him, but she talks very loudly and doesn't realize it and it does disturb their sleep!  When I was there Monday, I had SSHH them at least 10x in the 15 min they were there.  And I feel bad SSHH the older kids bc they are kids... they just should be there (I love them to pieces, but there is a time and place for everything).  LOL

britishbride05

cocojack10:

I was still home yesterday when she dropped off nephew... at which point she asked "do you mind if I drop him off for just an hr?"  Of course I don't... but then I got home 4 hrs later, and he was still there (again, i don't mind, but don't abuse of my MIL either - it isn't easy to take care of 3 boys).  Plus, then SIL gets there with niece, and 2 other little cousins.  My boys were asleep, and all they do is cause noise which wake them up!  I had to keep shushing everyone so boys wouldn't wake up (they hadn't napped in AM bc playing with nephew, so I needed them to nap in PM).

Plus, it really bugs me that she's out and about with older niece, nephew is having fun with my boys, and baby niece (same age as my boys) is home with her nanny!  The poor little girl doesn't go out anywhere bc her mom only takes the older ones "bc it is easier."  SIGH.

oh hell no lol if her kids are loud and she's loud and waking up YOUR kids... that's an issue in my book.  

 

But... you need to talk to your DH about this and HE has to be the one to talk to them, you don't want to offend the MIL, you know? 

cocojack10

britishbride05:

cocojack10:

I was still home yesterday when she dropped off nephew... at which point she asked "do you mind if I drop him off for just an hr?"  Of course I don't... but then I got home 4 hrs later, and he was still there (again, i don't mind, but don't abuse of my MIL either - it isn't easy to take care of 3 boys).  Plus, then SIL gets there with niece, and 2 other little cousins.  My boys were asleep, and all they do is cause noise which wake them up!  I had to keep shushing everyone so boys wouldn't wake up (they hadn't napped in AM bc playing with nephew, so I needed them to nap in PM).

Plus, it really bugs me that she's out and about with older niece, nephew is having fun with my boys, and baby niece (same age as my boys) is home with her nanny!  The poor little girl doesn't go out anywhere bc her mom only takes the older ones "bc it is easier."  SIGH.

oh hell no lol if her kids are loud and she's loud and waking up YOUR kids... that's an issue in my book.  

 

But... you need to talk to your DH about this and HE has to be the one to talk to them, you don't want to offend the MIL, you know? 

Thanks Jen! Yeah, this is something DH will have to address.  Let's see how next wk goes.  Maybe she'll get too wrapped up with going back to school stuff to pass by.  : )  One can hope!