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Parenting
do you let your kids order the same thing every time at restaurants?
What about if you're on vacation and eating out every day?
I'm gearing up for a week long trip with my pathalogically picky 5 year old. We're doing 5 weeks of 'food games' to keep working on his issues and get him eating more things. But part of me feels like fuckit. If he wants to eat chicken fingers every day then let him enjoy his vacation.
How does it work in your house?
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Re: do you let your kids order the same thing every time at restaurants?
Sometimes there is such thing as overthinking everything. This would be an example of that.
If he wants chicken fingers every day, let him. I know your situation is slightly different in that he's picky. But I have news for you, 95% of the kids on this board are picky. It goes with the age! Toddlers/preschoolers tend to eat the same things over and over and over again. That's NORMAL! So, on the other days, when you feel it necessary to have him try something out of his norm, cool. Go with it. But for vacation? Make his vacation, and yours, more enjoyable. Save the food battles for home!! For serious!
ETA: and if anyone tells you differently, they are likely giving you what they think is the Nest acceptable answer. Or they are a martyr. Either way - don't listen to them. Having him order something other than what he wants is going to lead down a yucky road. One that will not make either of you happy. He will likely walk away still hungry. And you will walk awaypissed that you just spent $9 on a meal he ate two bites of -- the two bites you forced him to eat. That's a lose/lose, IMO!
I think you're right
And more on this.........who has a kid that DOES order something different each time? And if they do, I'm guessing it's still one of the same damn core 5 options.
There is a reason that kids menus at EVERY RESTAURANT are the same! They aren't dummies -- they know what kids that age (sans Joey) eat!
Yeah, anytime we eat out, I always try to encourage them to have something besides chicken and fries, but if they don't, whatever. None of it is really all that healthy anyway.
And this is the one thing I hate about vacation; eating out all the time. It gets sickening to me. Last year, we were gone for a week, and I swore I would never eat out again!
j*w* - what do you have them order? A salad?
I mean, let's be real. Restaurants are not healthy, in general. Feed them healthy during the day - and let them order what they want for dinner.
Kids on vacation tend to be over-tired, over-stimulated, and therefore cranky. Adults, well, they can be the same.
Trying to wage a food battle (in the good sense) while both of you are at this point sounds like it would lead to disasterous consequences.
I'll suggest that you allow him to order what he wants off the menu, but that you pick some meals, maybe breakfast or lunch, so he's not overly tired, when he has to try a bite or two of something off your plate that he wouldn't normally eat on his own, and I would tell him in advance of your trip what your plan is, and that it should be a treat for him to pick his meals and only have to take a few bites of new food when you tell him.
DD1 has a "usual" at every restaurant we go to. Luckily it's a different meal at every restaurant, but it's usually things like mac & cheese, grilled cheese, quesadillas, or chicken nuggets.
Every day? I'd probably encourage her to try something new, but I wouldn't push it. Better that she eat something than eat nothing and be cranky.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I do try to mix it up if we are eating out a lot. She can't read yet
and I just tell her they don't have mac and cheese or quesadilla (or whatever she wants) and I try to get her to pick something else (like a bean & cheese burrito vs. a quesadilla at a mex restaurant).
Granted, like Jodi said, none of it is "healthy" but I do try to push them towards the more balanced options.
My kids are not super picky though. I wouldn't make it a big battle on vacay if your kid is *that* picky.
I said kids' menus are notoriously unhealthy, but having them eat chicken fingers for every single meal? Nope, not something I allow. When I read the menu to them, I only offer them options that they didn't have the day or 2 before. While we were just on vacation, DD had something different every night...mac 'n cheese, a steak and greenbeans, a chicken taco, etc. DS had cheese pizza, fish sticks, mac 'n cheese, etc. Are all these completely healthy options? No. But, my kids don't eat a salad for dinner at home either. I'm just saying, would I literally allow them to order chicken nuggets for every dinner out? No, I wouldn't.
We just got back from a week's vacation. We ate lunches on the beach, so I would make a PB&J or ham & cheese or crackers/cheese/pepperoni. For dinners out, over the course of a week, DS had a hot dog, chicken fingers, fish sticks, pasta with butter, mac & cheese. At the end of the day, it's all crap kids menu food, so if he really wanted a hotdog or chickenfingers every night, I wasn't going to argue. However we found that by reading the menu to DS and leaving off whatever he had the night before and getting really excited about something else ("Wow! look! they have pasta tonight - awesome!"), would encourage/trick? him to make a different choice.
Even when not on vacation, we go out to eat alot. ALOT. He knows that he can order what he'd like from the menu but he has to eat a veggie from mom or dad's plate if he orders french fries. He just comes to expect that now and the rule doesn't change if we are on vaca. He actually will ask what we are getting for a veggie, because if it's broccoli, he may opt to get himself a side of corn instead of getting stuck having to eat a piece of ours.
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11Jodi- you're so damn defensive about food! can you really not see that some people really DO work hard on their kids diet- not just to be able to post about it on the internet?? I am not trying to give a nest appropriate answer- nor am I extremist about my kids food- they eat healthy ( I find this ridiculously easy)- and they eat snacks and junkfood sometimes.
I don't always have the kids order off of the kids menu- but we're vegetarian and they're not picky- they'll usually share a regular entree. ( and they love salad- omg..)
also, if we've been eating in restaurants frequently- and I think they're inclined to go for something they've been eating a lot of- I tell them they don't have it (Im a LIAR!) or if they see it- I say they're OUT of it! (LIES!)
it's my game. I get to pick what they eat, and I always have.
is it always healthy? HECK NO!
but- kids are pretty chill if you lay it out, I find. how can they argue with " this place doesn't have any chicken fingers? but they DO have ____________ and you can even pick a special drink!"
i not a martyr either, for the record. I've made it totally easy for myself to feed them well.
what bothers me is the only thing he CAN eat is chicken/fries or i guess pasta. like sara might want m&c every time but she CAN eat whatever.
example: we went to a friends bbq and all he could eat was bread, fruit and cake. now, b/c of the mind-numbing, exhausting, frustrating work we've been doing he agreed to try the chicken (marinated grilled chicken). Big brave bite and he gagged.
Now I know this is 'ok'. He gags on everything new but with practice that goes away. But just to give you an idea of what we're dealing with. The idea to make him try a few bites of healthy food is sadly laughable. Actually healthy food is not the issue.... it's NEW food. He eats healthy (and unhealthy) food.
instead we'd have to do it step by step. touch the food, smell it. sometimes even the smell will make him gag, etc.
we do the work. but it's slowwwwww going.
Jackson's pretty picky, and I find it annoying to order food for him that he isn't going to eat b/c I'm not about to get to the point of him being a butthole in a restaurant so if he won't eat it, I tend to let it go.
I would probably try to avoid chicken fingers/fries every night even by going to restaurants that don't have it [Mexican, Italian, etc.] and maybe not read it off the menu - like give him options he might like, but pretend you don't see chicken fingers as an option.
Restaurants, and eating out, really aren't that healthy so I have a hard time fighting a healthy battle. It's sort of like when my husband tries to get Jackson to try a hot dog. Why waste the battle on THAT, something that isn't healthy to begin with?
When we eat out a lot, I do try to encourage him to eat a variety of things. Also, while he orders off the kids' menu, when I order I consider things he likes and order them as my sides for him to have so his meal can be more balanced (he never eats the full portion). So say we go to Chili's, he'll usually get a quesadilla and fries, but I will order black beans as one of my sides and then he can have some of that too. I try to balance as best I can, but I'm not about to make him, me or anyone else miserable in the process.
This.
Not worth the battle on vacation. We have had eating issues w/ DD since literally the second she was born. It has been a very long and exhausting road, so I get that. Her food issues have driven me insane, and (horrible mom moment) I threw a bowl of yogurt across the kitchen when she was younger because I'd reached my breaking point.
Whatever keeps the peace on vacation. Who cares if he eats chix for 5 days? Worse things have happened. I agree wholeheartedly w/ Jodi. I bought DD a toy out of the toy things at the entrance to stores (WTF? I have no idea what they are called?!). I told her it is a treat for vacation only. Period. No asking for cheapshit when we get home.
I'd just tell him vacation is a time to be silly and do things you don't do at home. Who knows, maybe getting out of his norm and experiencing new surroundings will open him up? Even just a teeny tiny bit.
Christmas 2011
I screamed myself hoarse the morning I finally called for help for C. It was over buttered toast. I feel your pain!! ty. I think that's what I'm going to do.
I was just about to start a post about this! A box of kraft mac n cheese or a grilled cheese sandwich for $4.99? Hell no! My kids are far from picky (usually) and like variety. We don't eat out often, but when we do, they rarely get a kids menu item.
I got advice from an OT that we follow at home but not as consistently as we should be (I just had a baby). But at any rate the food games we do we don't do at meal times. we keep mealtimes pressure free and work on his issues at snack times. That was her advice based on various things I told her about him (anxiety around food etc) and it works pretty well. As bad as he is, he really is much better than he was. There was a time when an offending food on his plate would have him shaking, crying etc (just the sight/smell of it). I have to remember how far we've come.
I would encourage him to keep trying new things as much as is possible and reasonable on your trip, but for the most part I wouldn't push it too much. It's vacation and who needs that kind of stress on vacation?
And besides, am I the only one whose kids go on food kicks and eat the same thing for days on end at home? Seriously. There was a two week period earlier this summer where my kids ate almond butter and strawberry jam sandwiches for breakfast and lunch every single day! They would've eaten them for dinner too if possible.
Thank you!
And honestly, if it WAS a salad, it wouldn't be an issue. We wouldn't even be discussing it. But it's not. The reason for the discussion is the lack of variety. But the options, while a variety, are all the same nutritionally. It's all crap! And that'[s my point. There is no difference between eating chicken tenders every night (versus mixing it up with a cheeseburger, hot dog, mac & cheese, etc). It's still all the same crap just in a different form. (Of course Z's child might be an exception to this as apparently there are other issues there).
FWIW, my kids have a side salad almost every time we eat out. And generally pick the orange slices over the fries. *gasp* Can you believe it?!!
And I want to reiterate, I'm NOT being defensive (even though it comes across that way). I AM being real -- and maybe that's not YOUR reality, but it is mine (and many many MANY other people I know -- IRL AND here!)! I can't tell you how many times I get PM's telling me that "they do the same thing" but just won't admit it here for fear of getting "bad Nestie mommy complex!" This place can be a totalfuckingjoke at times -- this topic happens to be one of those times.
Do you realize how RIDICULOUS it sounds? 99% of Nesties complain they don't even GET an annual vacation! Yet people are worried about what their kid eats for SEVEN days out of a YEAR?!?!!?!? Are we REALLY discussing this? SEVEN days!!!! Out of a YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that's if they are lucky to get an annual vacation. I don't know about you but I'll wear the "fun crown" any day when it comes to this one -- just chalk it up to my being cool and edgy!
You know what's lamer than arguing about food choices on vacation?
PMing someone and saying, "I do that too! I just don't want to get flamed!!!!"
OMG, really? REALLY? Flaming on this board is a slow roast that never goes anywhere. I cannot believe there are people who are worried about it anymore. I may have to GBCP over this.
Whaaat? WTF could possibly be even halfway flameworthy about this particular topic? For real. I think people are too freaking sensitive.
Oh you'd be surprised E!
And honestly, no one likes to hear they are a piece ofshit because they give their kid 2 glasses of crystal light a day. Or they suck as a mom. OR that they don't care enough about their kids because of it. Or whatever other crap comes out of admitting something here other than the Nest appropriate answer.
Surely you are not shocked about that. Shirley!
Never!
eClaires, don't you dare GBCP.
and fwiw, while I hear what Jodi's cook'n, I know MY kid.. and if I let MY kid eat the same thing every night for 7 nights, there would be an epic tantrum the moment we got home and I tried to give him something different. So while I agree that the crap is crap, at least it's not the same crap. However, if it's going to be an epic battle at the restaurant, I just let him eat what he wants, but remind him that it's only because we are on vacation.
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11Well, I guess I would say that if you are so confident that those choices aren't harmful, why do you care if some hippie dippie nestie tells you that your choices are bad?
And yeah, actually I am shocked. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure I couldn't give a sh*t what anyone here thinks of my parenting choices. I know I'm a good mom, I know my kids are healthy and thriving, and for all I know, some of you are men in their mom's basements.
People judge for a lot of reasons - I can't be bothered to care what they think about my decisions. For example, I formula fed both my kids - plenty of people judge that, and I just think they are idiots. So why should it matter if they think I'm feeding my kid something that is less than 'best' [which I disagree with, btw]? Oh right, it doesn't. I don't base my opinion of my parenting on other people's opinions.
You obviously think that concerns about artificial sugars are no big deal, right? And if others agree with you, why don't they own that? If you truly believe that you aren't making a wrong decision, it shouldn't matter what people on this board think because in your mind, they are wrong.
Yep, I swear the entire time we were in disney they had:
Mickey Mouse waffles for breakfast (every day)
And Mac N Cheese at all the sit down places!!
you so crazy!
Clearly not everyone has this level of confidence. After all, if they did, we wouldn't be discussing if it's ok to feed the kid the same meal 7 nights in a row - now would we? Or what kind of car seat to use? Or is lemonade/iced tea ok?
*snort*
Hell, now that I think about it, this parenting board THRIVES and EXISTS based on the insecurities of moms all over the world! Go Nest! LOL
EBB -- you love me and you know it! It's ok to admit it - it's the first step.
This is how I would be.
Agree!