What to do about DH's depression & sudden employment issues

firstmom2b

Okay, so I really have an amazing husband. He loves me completely and can't WAIT for the baby (born to be a dad). BUT...

He has always had slight anxiety/depression issues that got worse when he started taking Chantix last year to quit smoking. It helped him quit smoking, but he ended up with a new need for anti-anxiety/depression pills...led to Lexapro, then to Cymbalta.

Anyways, he hated being dependent on them, especially when he was still suffering from anxiety, so he got off Cymbalta two weeks ago. The withdrawal symptoms have faded, but no matter what he does he is left with this empty feeling and a lack of motivation. He has a lot of trouble dealing with stress, but is getting better. We are just trying a good vitamin/food regimen and taking it day by day.

Anyways, to top it all off, his current employer has stopped paying him consistently over the past few weeks and we just can't handle it financially so it may be time for him to get another job. This is just the last bit of stress we need. He's really good at whatever he does, good employee, but no college degree.

It's getting really overwhelming !!!!!! Just venting here, thanks for the ear... 

avalovesart

Best wishes on finding a solution to the depression and finding a new job... Have you spoken to your DH's doctor about getting off the medicine?

And also try to stay calm yourself, as hard as it may be.  T&P

dgphotography

Maybe suggest counseling. Just to give him another point of view and someone else to vent to. He may not feel right venting to you all the time (doesn't want to bring you down, stress you out, etc), but having that outside perspective may help.

My DH went through a horrible time last year. He hurt his back and was out of work for 9 months. We had to move because we were hurting so bad financially, and he blamed himself. Honestly, there was nothing I could do but pray for him. Not sure if that is an option, but good Christian friends listening and being supportive of him was the only thing that brought him through. Good luck! Thoughts and prayers to both of you!

firstmom2b

Thanks guys, all good tips. I'm pretty pro-counseling too, and although we're not "Christian,' we're very spiritual and seek help from Up There. I think he actually feels like he's being punished!!! Hopefully time will make things better.

 

His doctor unfortunately is not very understanding and seems to just prescribe whatever, so we're moving on to another one. He's all done with taking that stuff, I don't think he's open to starting again. Maybe counseling will fill in that gap.

bingham101

Depression can be serious and sometime meds help. I agree you need a doctor who will listen to whats going on and help find the best solution. I also think now might be a good time to look for a new job. I think the stress will only increase after the baby is born if his paychecks arent coming on time. I wish you well. Talking to someone shoud definitly help.

alumsden1

I suggest councelling, and as the PP mentioned- prayer. DH lost his job when I was preg with #1 and was unemployed for 2+ years. He battled depression and we had some difficult times. What got us through was the support of our church, our bible study, and family. Councelling helped a ton, too.

With his hx of depression, he should see his Dr. and have his meds adjusted/restarted/changed as well. Remeber to always support each other no matter what happens- don't let the difficult times turn you against east other.

Mrs164

I completely agree with seeking counseling.  I too have battled depression and anxiety since high school and every time things get really bad and I have to go back on meds, I resent having to take them.  Not to mention the side effects until things level out!  So I know how frustrating the meds can be.  However, that being said, if he is really having a hard time shaking this, even with the help of couseling, there is no shame in taking the meds to help him out, especially if his stress levels are higher than normal.  As for the doc goes, it is very important to have someone who really listens to your concerns and not just writes scripts.  Call your insurance co for a list of covered psychiatrists and tell him to be patient if finding one he is comfortable with.  This is a very important part, but also remember that psychiatrists are not therapists and will not spend an hour talking to you about whatever may be going on.  Most good psychiatrists will recommend a counselor to work in conjunction with the meds.

Good luck to you both...hope this helps.

firstmom2b

Wow, thanks SO MUCH for all your advice. It's nice to know others have gone through this, we'll try getting a good doc lined up, see if I can convince him to go to counselor and then maybe we'll restart meds again.