Co-worker called me out at work- I'm ticked

repedrick

So yesterday I had my 9wk dr appt. No big deal, I took 2 hours of personal time first thing in the morning to go and had just told my boss that I needed the time to get a few personal things done.

Well, I get to the office and 1 of my co workers comes straight into my office in front of another co worker, stands directly in front of my face and asks me point blank if I was pregnant and had been to the doctor that morning. I was so caught off guard by her boldness that I didn't say anything for a minute and the shocked look on my face totally gave it away. So they knew by my reaction that i was, so I just said yes but that we hadn't told anyone yet.

This girl is a huge big mouth and I know the news will spread fast even though I told her to keep quiet. So to be safe, I am telling my boss today so that he hears it from me and not through the rumor mill. He will be great about it, I'm not worried a bit about him but after having 2 miscarriage before DD#1 we like to keep it quiet until 12 wks. I just can't believe how rude some people are and why they think it's okay to ask personal questions like that!

Ivana_Stolichnaya

I would have politely excused the other co-worker, closed the door and had a talk with her.  It's none of her business as to where you go if you're taking PTO.  Medical appointments in particular.  She needs to have a sit-down with you and the boss to discuss privacy policies in the office.

jenick

Wow...I would be talking to my boss about what she did.  That is unprofessional and uncalled for.  She should be talked to. 

chelle_chelle5487@hotmail.com

I know exactly what you went through! I had a couple coworkers do that to me too. I wanted to wait till I had my first u/s. Luckily, my boss already knew. I told her early on because I didn't plan on working after the baby was born and I wasn't working through my full pregnancy, so due to scheduling I told her. Everyone was very excited. Good Luck to you!

RunningMama2012

Ugh... I'm so sorry you had to experience that! Some people have absolutely no tact!!! I work in an office of a lot of women and let's be honest, women can be nosy! Ever since my husband and I have bought our house there have been a few ladies at work who constantly have been asking me if I am pregnant. Apparently buying a house = getting pregnant!  When we were TTC it was tough but now that I am pregnant it is just annoying me... maybe it's the hormones!

Hopefully your co-worker doesn't blab it all over the place and YOU will have the opportunity to share your good news with your coworkers at 12 weeks!

byersals

Ugh, that's ridiculous! I don't blame you at all for feeling put off by that. 

repedrick

I'm thinking of throwing her actions into the conversation somehow. Like tell him I'm pg, talk about how its going to affect my work and then just say. Well, you know we don't normally tell this early (he knows about the miscarriages) so I'd like it to stay between us for a few more weeks. But X did this yesterday and I wanted to make sure you heard it from me first instead of through the rumor mill.

That way, he knows what happened and can address it with her if/however he feels necessary but at least he knows.

 

JhawkCE

I'm always throw it right back at them and catch them off guard with a "Wow, that's a very personal question.  My Mom would never even ask me that.  You had better be more careful about asking personal question esp at work, you don't even know if I can have children."

byersals

I like that...sounds like a great way to handle it!

Laura62809

JhawkCE:

I'm always throw it right back at them and catch them off guard with a "Wow, that's a very personal question.  My Mom would never even ask me that.  You had better be more careful about asking personal question esp at work, you don't even know if I can have children."

HA! I wish I was quick to think like that! What a perfect response!

To the op, I'm sorry that you went through that. Some people are just so nosy! I think just mentioning to your boss is a good idea. That way he can handle it how he feels necessary.

MI-bride

repedrick:

I'm thinking of throwing her actions into the conversation somehow. Like tell him I'm pg, talk about how its going to affect my work and then just say. Well, you know we don't normally tell this early (he knows about the miscarriages) so I'd like it to stay between us for a few more weeks. But X did this yesterday and I wanted to make sure you heard it from me first instead of through the rumor mill.

That way, he knows what happened and can address it with her if/however he feels necessary but at least he knows.

 

I would do this, but would also ask to speak to her alone and explain that she caught you off guard with a very personal question that you felt backed into a corner to answer and since what is done is done, you can only hope that she could try to respect you in not sharing any further.

Beth1104

That would be very frustrating to be outed like that. Unfortunately, when you are pregnant people seem to feel it's their right to say rude/ridiculous things to you.         Good luck on your journey, though!