September 2011 Moms

annoying sister....vent

I'm sick of my sister having a comment about everything.  She has two small children and since I'm a FTM feels as though she has a wealth of knowledge she must share with me and I know absolutely nothing about anything. 

For example:  She told me not to buy a baby monitor, that I would just hear the baby cry and it would be a waste.  ( I previously nannied, which i know is much different than having your own, but I did learn what baby gear I found useful).

We are using cloth only and she through a fit when I returned some disposable diapers I got at my shower. (I'm sorry but I only kept one "just in case" pack.  I didn't feel with using cloth I needed to keep 200 of the same sized disposable diapers) apparently returning them is just "unreasonable"

I am planning to EBF/pump.  Hoping to not need to supplement.  I understand that it may not work out that way but i want to do everything i can to make BF a success.  I got a sample of formula in the mail on friday and offered it to her and she said "oh you'll use it".  I explain that I don't want to have any in our house because I don't want to be tempted to use it, and once again i get more lovely comments from her.  (We have a grocery store literally 3 blocks up the road and walmart 5 minutes away, so if there was a crisis, it isn't far for DH to go and get some formula.  I'm going back to work and will have to pump, etc to build supply and I feel like if i have formula I WILL end up using it, especially when it comes to going back to work).

Then lastly today.  I'm planning a home birth with a MW which she is overall cool about.  But she went on and on about how irresponsible it is to go to 42 weeks without being induced.  I'll be honest, although this is what i want and what I feel is best for us, I  overall don't care what other people do.  Someone being induced even before there due date has absolutely nothing to do with me, in fact someone choosing an epidural or any other birth intervention for that matter has absolutely nothing to do with me and my choices.  so if that's what someone wants to do go ahead.  But she kept argueing that postdate is before 42 weeks, (i even showed her the information on ACOG).  If someone doesn't feel comfortable going until 42 weeks, i understand that however based on all my research etc, I feel ok with it.  If there are issues with the baby of course we wouldn't wait that long.  I'm also not opposed to NSTs or u/s to make sure everything is ok. 

I was planning to have my mother and sister at the birth but especially this last bit is making me think twice.  I don't want to have my sister at the birth questions our/my MW decisions.  I was already worried she would make a bunch of "helpful" decisions when frankly i just want to be left alone.  I think part of her issue may be that she thinks I'm just trying to be "better" than her.  She used disposables, her LO is pretty much formula fed, she had an induction date for her 2nd etc.  It's just frustrating because like I say I really don't care what other people do.  My best friend exclusively formula fed her son and we have jokes going back and forth all the time.  She always makes jokes about me planning to BF.  Just frustrating i guess, especially since I've never made any comments about her parenting choices.  If you actually made it this far thanks for reading.

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Re: annoying sister....vent

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    Yeah sisters (and moms for that matter) can be pretty annoying!  I have already told them that I will call them when I go to the hospital but if they come running, don't expect to get to come in the labor room with me!  I am planning on a med free delivery and don't want all the distraction.  I told them I will call when I am at 8 CM then they can leave to come to the hospital.  It is a 45 minute drive.  

    As far as your situation, keep your head up!  You are making the decisions you feel best for your family and that is all that matters!  Yes, they will try to butt in and give there two cents worth but just tell them to keep it in their pocket! 

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    Yeah sisters can be the worst!

    With anybody else, if they make an annoying or critical comment, I would recommend smiling and nodding and then ignoring them or something. But with my sister, if she says something like that that I disagree with, I try to 'have it out' or at least tell her why I disagree , or something like that. Otherwise the criticisms will just keep coming.

     I think a lot of it depends on your relationship and personalities. But my general rule for families is to stand up for yourself. For example, tell her straight out- if you don't stop tryign to sabotage my breastfeeding and cloth diapering and being critical, you are disinvited fom the birth. So cut it out. 

     How do you think she would respond to that?

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    Why in the world would you have her at the birth?  She doesn't sound like she would be a calming or encouraging influence at all.

    I'm so glad my sister is 18 and a delightful person.  :)

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    Why in the world would you have her at the birth?  She doesn't sound like she would be a calming or encouraging influence at

    This.. I can just imagine all the remarks shell have durin the birth.. any frustration grnting etc due to no meds all I picture is "You should have done this at a hospital with an epi" etc stuff like that.. My mom told me I wasted money on my boppy and that ill only last 6 weeks bf because thats all she could last.. yes it didnt work out with DD but I know more now than with her and each baby is different.. people need to hush!
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    fortunately we haven't invited her to the birth yet.  We had gotten much closer over about the past two years and I looked forward to all the girls being so close in age.  I don't think i will have her at the birth after all this, or if things are fine we can always decide last minute. 

    I'll be honest, i do side eye their parenting.  For example, (there kids are 2.5 and 8 months) have absolutely no routine.  They spend nights with friends and relatives.  I know they have a more difficult work situation, my BIL is a photographer.  But no way in heck would friends have my 8 month old baby overnight on a fairly regular roation.  the 2 year old would also go over 24 hours without seeing her parents.  My sister's MIL would have her for two nights in a row.  Before getting pregnant I talked to my manager about changing my work schedule to weekend nights so I would be able to be home with our LO during the week.  But at the same time I have never said a word about it because it isn't my place.

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    I know how you feel. I have a sister who just turned 19 and she thinks she's a know it all to the max. She just had her first child in February, a little girl and she swore by my early pregnancy photos that I was carrying "just like her" and she swore it was a girl. It turned out to be a girl (thank goodness) but now I hear how she is cloth diapering and it's so much better then disposable and she EBF and I breastfed and gave formula bottles while we were out and about. I have my choices and she has hers. Is any superior, ultimately will we ever know?? I am one of those to each their own, be happy with you and don't worry about type of people and she drives me mad. Hang in there. Like PP said, just make sure you stick up for yourself and don't let her get the best of you.
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    I would swear we had the same sister, but mine doesnt even have any kids and she is constantly telling me what i should do with DS, or what to do/ not to do during my pregnancy....And how would she know?
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