Guess Im a Bleeding Heart Today...

palmtreemandy

I love this board. I spend a LOT of time here. I love getting reactions and input and appreciate the honesty in replies. Plus, talking names is just plain fun.

But it occurs to me today that sometimes we have a tendency to be out and out rude to one another. Downright mean. Most times women who post here aren't sold on a possible name, so they're looking for objective opinions from peers. While a simple "i dont like it" or "i wouldnt use it myself" would work, and even telling why not can be ok- do we really need to make vomit faces and put the moms to be down for their potential choices? Saying things like worst name Ive ever heard and your child will think you dont love them? Is that really necessary? All that does it make us less likely to share our "iffy" name considerations with one another which defeats the purpose of this board entirely. 

OK- Go ahead and flame me now. By the way, my iffy name considerations include 

Emryss

Allegra

Melina

Dexter

and I even got flamed with my last pregnancy for the name i went with (and love) Adelia. 

 

gatorsgirl213

I agree!  "Despise" shouldn't be a word used on these boards!  I even had a response once that someone thought my list was fake or made-up because the names were unusual and non-traditional.  (PS Dexter was on that list  

Keep it positive and upbeat to support all the other ladies who are trying to get honest opinions!

palmtreemandy

or how about 'with a name like that she cant be a lawyer, only a stripper?' come on now...

gatorsgirl213

Lol...that is terrible!  I just saw one that said the name reminded them of a cream for genital warts.  Seriously?!?

Pixiestx

I just wanted to say that I just discovered a week ago that I love Allegra, but it doesn't work for us.

palmtreemandy

mj.reilly:

I won't touch the "you're so mean" part of the post or the other comments, but ...

 

Emryss ? I am not a fan of boy names on girls. Why the extra "s." Curious, what is the point of it? Emrys is nice, though. Because so few people know it's a boys name, and a boy will be Dexter Fredrick for us after our grandfathers. The extra "s leads to more people pronoucing "emm-riss" not "em-reez"

Allegra ? Not bad. Nice name apart from the medicine association. Nice meaning.

Melina ? I want to like it, but thanks to a certain medical term, I don't really care for it.

Dexter ? I am really hoping this is your boy consideration, and not girl like the rest of the names. Great boy name.

Adelia ? I like it! Also like Adela, which is stems from.

HannahO28

I feel like a lot of the direct "mean" quotes on here were ones that I posted today...so I'll drop in to defend myself. 

When I respond to names, I post my gut reaction. Because, that is honestly what I want when I post names that I'm considering. If people are going to think that one of my names sounds like a stripper, or a medication for herpes, I want to know. I honestly cannot even fathom not wanting to know that. I have gotten really negative reactions to names that I've posted here and I appreciate the level of honesty that I get. Why would you post names on the internet if you only want lukewarm responses? I will not water down my opinion to simply "NMS" or "dislike" because that's not how I feel. And I come onto this board assuming that when people ask what I think, they actually want to know. 

palmtreemandy

to be quite clear, I enjoy the honest brutal reactions. Especially on names I post. But Im a big girl in big girl britches who can hold her own. If I love a name, Ill use it no matter what people flame it, or me, or what medication or stripper images it inspires. (just a note though, pretty sure if your daughter wants to strip a name like Jessica wont stop her and a name like Kazie wont inspire her)

Im just sticking up for those on here who may be a bit more timid and wear their hearts on their sleeves. They may appreciate some tact.

Hannah, I find you quite funny and Im not intending to start a war. Thats all  

HannahO28

palmtreemandy:

to be quite clear, I enjoy the honest brutal reactions. Especially on names I post. But Im a big girl in big girl britches who can hold her own. If I love a name, Ill use it no matter what people flame it, or me, or what medication or stripper images it inspires. (just a note though, pretty sure if your daughter wants to strip a name like Jessica wont stop her and a name like Kazie wont inspire her)

Im just sticking up for those on here who may be a bit more timid and wear their hearts on their sleeves. They may appreciate some tact.

Hannah, I find you quite funny and Im not intending to start a war. Thats all  

thanks . I really didn't mean my post to sound ultra-defensive or angry. (and I didn't think your original post sounded angry toward me either). I think that it's ok that people come here for different things and get different reactions. People can get the brutal honesty from me, and the kindess from sugarpumpkin--I think both are valid, and I'm glad that there are people here that will respond in a variety of ways. I just wanted to share where I'm coming from so that everyone can (hopefully) know that I'm not being snarky to hurt people's feelings--I'm just doing what I want people to do for me. 

KearaD

HannahO28:

When I respond to names, I post my gut reaction. Because, that is honestly what I want when I post names that I'm considering. If people are going to think that one of my names sounds like a stripper, or a medication for herpes, I want to know. I honestly cannot even fathom not wanting to know that. I have gotten really negative reactions to names that I've posted here and I appreciate the level of honesty that I get. Why would you post names on the internet if you only want lukewarm responses? I will not water down my opinion to simply "NMS" or "dislike" because that's not how I feel. And I come onto this board assuming that when people ask what I think, they actually want to know. 

 

Although I wouldn't consider any of my posts "mean," I have to agree with HannahO28. If I were asking about a name, I would definitely want people's gut reactions even if they weren't very nice! To me, that is the point of posting on here: getting honest opinions that people you know would be unable to give you in real life.

But occasionally people post mean things that are directed at the poster and not the name suggested, and that's not cool. 

anna7602

HannahO28:

I feel like a lot of the direct "mean" quotes on here were ones that I posted today...so I'll drop in to defend myself. 

When I respond to names, I post my gut reaction. Because, that is honestly what I want when I post names that I'm considering. If people are going to think that one of my names sounds like a stripper, or a medication for herpes, I want to know. I honestly cannot even fathom not wanting to know that. I have gotten really negative reactions to names that I've posted here and I appreciate the level of honesty that I get. Why would you post names on the internet if you only want lukewarm responses? I will not water down my opinion to simply "NMS" or "dislike" because that's not how I feel. And I come onto this board assuming that when people ask what I think, they actually want to know. 

I agree with this. NMS is completely unhelpful. Lots of people have different naming styles than I do, but so do most people who will meet my child on a daily basis. If the name makes you think of a disease, I want to know that. That's completely different than not liking it simply because you wouldn't use it yourself.

femmepink

When I come on here asking about a name, I don't want only filtered, positive comments if people feel like the name I'm asking about sounds like a brand of hemmoroid cream. I would then think that this board has failed me.

If people come to a public message board asking for the opinions of complete strangers they've got to realize the opinions won't always be rainbows and butterflies. That isn't life, and that isn't real.

I don't think anyone would "bash" a decent, beautiful names for no reason, time after time to create the OP to feel shiity. If that happened, then I would say that the OP would have the right to be upset. I just don't think anyone on here does that.

gatorsgirl213

I agree COMPLETELY that some names should be left to pharmaceutical companies and strip clubs!  And I agree that some comments that are particularly hurtful to the poster are totally out of line.  Honestly, I appreciate some of the creative ways people interpret names...and appreciate the fact that people can come right out and say exactly what they think!  (And Hannah, I had just happened to read your post about the cream, so that is why I mentioned that one.  Actually, it was hilarious, because I kind of thought the same thing...)  More than anything, it's fun to hear different opinions and, more often than not, people are very encouraging and supportive.  It does kind of stink, though, when a series of posters TOTALLY shoot down a name you really like.   

I just think it's also nice to follow up with a positive suggestion.  Like, I prefer this to that. 

Anyway, my two cents is worth just that...two cents!  I enjoy getting on this board and seeing all the different input and responses.  Happy Friday!

ubermoose

Some names are simply not my style, and I'd generally say, "not my style, but still a decent, respectable name," or something to that effect. My style, like most people's, is fairly limited. The truth is, there are many names that I wouldn't name my kid that I can still respect as nice names.

Then, there are bad names. There, I said it. And, though flaming isn't nice, and I hope I don't come off as crude, some people do need to hear specific reasons why they may wish to reconsider a name. Our children are going to spend their lives introducing themselves to people. Though this board may take names a bit more seriously than the rest of the population, it's helpful to know what people's honest reactions are to names and spellings before officially giving them to a kid. If something reminds someone of a vegetable, or a medication, or a body part, or a person of ill repute, I'd certainly like to hear it. And if I need to be brought to my senses regarding a dumb spelling, I'd like to hear that, too!

That's not to say that I'm standing up for all the comments on the board. Some cross the line from helpful to tacky, and occassionally, you'll get a couple that go beyond that. There have also been scads of whiners on the board that get upset when their choices aren't met with the feedback they'd like.

tct1219

HannahO28:

I feel like a lot of the direct "mean" quotes on here were ones that I posted today...so I'll drop in to defend myself. 

When I respond to names, I post my gut reaction. Because, that is honestly what I want when I post names that I'm considering. If people are going to think that one of my names sounds like a stripper, or a medication for herpes, I want to know. I honestly cannot even fathom not wanting to know that. I have gotten really negative reactions to names that I've posted here and I appreciate the level of honesty that I get. Why would you post names on the internet if you only want lukewarm responses? I will not water down my opinion to simply "NMS" or "dislike" because that's not how I feel. And I come onto this board assuming that when people ask what I think, they actually want to know. 

I agree with this. Most of the comments I got when considering my daughter's [nick]name were very negative but I wanted that because knowing what your child might hear about his/ her name is the responsible thing to do as a parent. I still used it but I took what everyone said into consideration. I still get compliments on it in real life all the time and we live in an area where uncommon names are much more prevalent so that ultimately helped me make my decision.

That and the fact that I've seen it on many lists and in name books since I first heard it and know it will rise somewhat in popularity in the next several years so I didn't want to hear it and regret not using it.

It's a good thing because a couple of months ago a show on ABC Family came out with a character named Bay and I know that would have made me second guess myself if I'd gone with one of my other girl choices.

pawstech09

HannahO28:

I feel like a lot of the direct "mean" quotes on here were ones that I posted today...so I'll drop in to defend myself. 

When I respond to names, I post my gut reaction. Because, that is honestly what I want when I post names that I'm considering. If people are going to think that one of my names sounds like a stripper, or a medication for herpes, I want to know. I honestly cannot even fathom not wanting to know that. I have gotten really negative reactions to names that I've posted here and I appreciate the level of honesty that I get. Why would you post names on the internet if you only want lukewarm responses? I will not water down my opinion to simply "NMS" or "dislike" because that's not how I feel. And I come onto this board assuming that when people ask what I think, they actually want to know. 

 

While I agree with OP that sometimes the negativity can be hurtful (I would be pretty hurt if someone said my baby name sounded like a herpe cream!), if you want people's opinions, you're going to get opinions!

slukd79

While I want honest opinions, I have seen the line crossed (IMO) sometimes.

As an example, I don't think "vomit worthy" is helpful in any way shape or form. From this, I get that you don't like the name, but why?