s/0 wanting more kids - how old is too old?

mssaint

I'm older than most of the moms on this board (38 - yikes). I had LO when I was 37. If we do have #2, odds are high that I would be 40+ when LO2 was born. We started trying when I was 34, hoping that I'd give birth at 35, but didn't have any luck.

I'm already exhausted now - I really don't know about having a baby in my 40s. But on the other hand, I don't want to not have one if we're leaning in that direction just because of age.

 

 

LindseyJW

i get your concern. i can't imagine not having another baby if it was what i wanted for my family simply b/c of my age. it seems a little selfish to me, but at the same time, who else is going to take care of my needs other than me? it's definitely a consideration.

we started a little younger than you and fortunately didn't have any ttc issues. i was 29 when #1 was born and 33 when #2 was born. my sister on the other hand, is 29 and has been ttc for over 2 years now.

if we have #3, it won't be for a couple more years and i'll be around 36/37. i don't see waiting any longer than that b/c of how we want to space our kids' ages.

given how much more butt-kicked i feel this time (or maybe it's just the day, i really haven't felt that much more butt-kicked this time, i actually think #2 has been easier on me), i don't think i'd want get started with a new baby after 38/39. but i think it really depends on your body's true age. i'm not terribly in shape and that has an affect on my energy level. i have good health, so i could be in better shape, i'm just lazy.   my SIL had her first at 34, second at 36 and third at 38. yep, she's 38 and has 3 kids under 6. i suppose if she can do it...

 

WinesNot Whines

I'm a little younger than you (but not much) and my DH is in his early 40s, so we've also considered the age thing. I wouldn't let your age, by itself, hold you back. I think it's more about how you feel. Some 40 year olds have a lot more energy than I do!

Hey Jellisy

I don't think 40 is too old.  Some of your risks go up, but many women have safe and healthy pregnancies.  I think it's all about how you feel and what you want for your family.  I'm only a little younger than you are (35) and we would like to have 1-2 more, which means I will be pushing 40 by the time I am done.

Amy&Steve0421

This is a concern for us as well - we started trying at 33 - had our first at 35 - and I got pregnant today I would be 37 when the baby was born.  More than likely, I will be 38.

I wouldn't let age alone hold you back.

For us, the issue is breastfeeding.  I am still breastfeeding and still no period - I don't want to stop in case this is the only chance I'll have to breastfeed.  But I know I need to cut back enough to get a return of fertility.  I'm going to start tracking fertility signs to see where I'm at now...I've had some signs that things are coming back...sometimes I wish I didn't have to think about these things...but I know how blessed we are to have our son - and we will try to have another - but if it doesn't happen - I do think I can find peace w/that...

 

Kewliegirl

mssaint:

I'm older than most of the moms on this board (38 - yikes). I had LO when I was 37. If we do have #2, odds are high that I would be 40+ when LO2 was born. We started trying when I was 34, hoping that I'd give birth at 35, but didn't have any luck.

I'm already exhausted now - I really don't know about having a baby in my 40s. But on the other hand, I don't want to not have one if we're leaning in that direction just because of age.

 

 

Dear St.

Sunuva...!!!!

You (and/or Wines) were my next guess on "herewegoagain" user. One of you had fertility problems, though, right?  If and when you try again, may it happen quickly!

Anyway, haruumph,

kewliegirl

JessieP76

I'll be a few days shy of 36 when our first LO is born in January and DH will be 44.  We're newly married, so got a late start, and already debating whether there's time for a second LO.

mssaint

Haha Kewlie. What if I'm trying to throw people off my trail? Kidding - I'm definitely not pregnant.

To complicate the age thing, there is the fertility question - it took an IUI for LO. We could have an easier time or it could be hard. I think we've agreed that we won't go to an RE this time, so the decision might be made for us.

Sofka

Amy&Steve0421:

This is a concern for us as well - we started trying at 33 - had our first at 35 - and I got pregnant today I would be 37 when the baby was born.  More than likely, I will be 38.

I wouldn't let age alone hold you back.

For us, the issue is breastfeeding.  I am still breastfeeding and still no period - I don't want to stop in case this is the only chance I'll have to breastfeed.  But I know I need to cut back enough to get a return of fertility.  I'm going to start tracking fertility signs to see where I'm at now...I've had some signs that things are coming back...sometimes I wish I didn't have to think about these things...but I know how blessed we are to have our son - and we will try to have another - but if it doesn't happen - I do think I can find peace w/that...

I got pregnant while still eBFing DD, she was 11mo old and I had *just* stopped pumping and had just gone to just nursing 2x a day, about 12hrs apart. I never got my period so I am assuming it was my 1st ovulatory cycle. I'd just keep having lots of sex and it may happen, good luck!

 

vtkgirl77

FWIW, I thought the 2nd was much easier because I felt more confident as a mom and I knew more of how to handle things. So, I think it's been easier the second time around even though I'm two years older than I was with DD#1.

I definitely wouldn't let age deter you if having another is really important to you. As a side note, I saw my step-SIL this past weekend. She is 40 and pregnant with he 7th! (her 6th boy). I think it's becoming more and more common for women to have children into their 40's.

hollace

I have a friend who was 40 with her second child and one whose 45 pregnant with twins.  It definitely depends on what you want and feel you're comfortable with.  Personally, I would not have a child purposefully at 40, but if someone got married later (as my above friends did) then whose to say it isn't right for them.

portiah

really depends on you. i was 41 when i got pregnant with this one. there will be an almost 16 year gap btwn my boys my doc told me i have the ovaries of a 32 y.o. and to go forth and be fruitful! i think this will be the last one though, the ole gal aint what she used to be

****AWS****

If we have a 3rd I'd be 36 or 37 when we start trying, it definitely concerns me.

suecadence

Good luck with your decision. I think when the time comes, you'll know what to do. I have many, many friends who have had their first kids in their late 30s and have done great. 40 is the new 30, ya heard? 

Artslvr

Like pp said, I think it totally depends on the person. 

I have a coworker who is getting married this Fall and has an existing medical issue.  I think she's 43 - and she's talking about starting a family.  She is one of the most healthy, in-shape, energetic, positive people I know, so I sort of don't blink at the thought of her becoming a mom in her 40's.

I know some women in their early/mid 30's who I think would really struggle.

I say don't let age stop you! 

alliapistor

I'm 35 and expecting my first child next month.  We would like to have 2 children and are also concerned regarding age.  In an ideal world, I would like to space my children 3 years apart.  But partly because of age and the fact that it took almost a year to conceiver baby #1, we're going to start TTC #2 when this one is around 1. If we're lucky, I'll be 37 or 38 when #2 is born and DH will be 39 or 40.