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Pregnant after 35
One of those things...
While I agree that this original thread poster did not get what she wanted which was at least one of us to understand what she was trying to say.....While I am not defending her position of SOUNDING selfish - which unfortunately it did come out - but she is in her own bubble of a crisis in her life.
I must admit that I too am not enjoying pregnancy at all!!!!! I hate not being in control of my body - gaining weight, not being able to see my feet past my own boobs, headaches, random pain in odd places and not to mention the endless things that I cannot do, eat, drink or take to assist with the things that hurt.
Being that many women are told that they MUST behave as china dolls that can be broken if the wind blows - it is very hard for tom boys and wildly adventurous women to accept and move into a life where actions are restricted for the next 9 months.
While I will be thrilled once this little man is out of my belly and we can see him, hold him, eat his toes etc...... I can identify with the loss of identity thing that she is going through as well. Many FTMs are not prepared since they are not informed at all of the true changes you have to go through while prego. One day you are reading books written by women who are in love with being pregnant, dreaming of the joys of pregnancy and envisioning yourself adorable svelt and pregnant with only a little ball on your belly and then the truth - they dont tell you the bad parts - then you are there - pregnant yourself - nauseous, crappy taste in your mouth, feeling like you have swamp butt 24/7, headaches, sore, out of breath, hungry all the time and feeling like you are merely the mothership and you have been hijacked by a mini-Stewie that will hit a button to make you sneeze and pee your pants all while laughing an evil laugh.
All your cute clothes dont fit for crap since your butt has turned into something that reminds you of a life raft and the maternity clothes are just simply horrific to wear. Especially since - some - like myself know - that this is the only time I will be having a baby - and refuse to spend $210 on a pair of jeans or shirt. Meaning that you are left with cheap material clothing items that are reminiscent of a circus tent with holes cut out for your head and arms. IMHO
Your wedding rings sit on a bedside table staring at you for months since your fingers and hands are swollen like clown gloves and your feet remind you of snausages and all the while all you may want is a romantic night of passionate s3x with the SO after a nice glass or bottle of wine, a long walk on a beach and a fabulous seafood feast that would make any cat yowl in jealousy.
I know that this is not a popular opinion or feeling - as I can see by the numerous women railing this post but not all of us are enjoying the experience at all and we are all having our own issues - whether it be body issues - mental adaptation or emotional trauma being increasingly problematic due to the SO not being supportive (being told wow your a$$ is getting bigger - NOT COOL).
The truth is the end is the real prize - the LO we wanted so badly. We tried for years to get this baby under way and failed over and over again until now both by missing dates and times and then the awful emotional pain of accepting possible infertility or miscarriages.
But to be brutally honest I just thank god we arent pregnant for 3 years.
But for the love of everything holy we do not all love being prego. I can list the cons and there is only one pro - the LO that comes 9 months later. The grotesque things our bodies are capable of during a pregnancy are simply harsh and relatively disgusting - I mean really mucus plugs???? That does not sound beautiful to me.
And dont get me wrong I am so happy for all of you women out there that love being pregnant - MORE WOMAN POWER TO YOU!!!! But in my opinion it is not a fun time in my life.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: One of those things...
EVERYTHING changes once LO is concieved....and NOTHING will ever be the same again. I can't even look at the world in the same light, and for a while after my first, I was horrified I brought such an innocent, sweet baby into it. But that's the way things go once your heart lives outside of your chest.
From now on, you'll be "So & So's" mom. That's what I get called at the kid's schools by their friends, teachers, and other moms. "Oh! You're Alexis' mom!" or "Excuse me? Olyvia's mom, can I ask you a question?" I no longer own anything in my house. I can hide it, but somehow my kids will find a way to suss it out and make it theirs. I have to sneak and eat brownies in the middle of the night so I don't have to share. But of course someone will come out of their rooms, rubbing their eyes, declaring they smell brownies cooking....ugh.
I'm just now being able to enjoy a hot meal. No sooner do you sit down at the table than someone needs something or the other. Your food is better than their food even though it came out of the same pot. Your drink is tastier than theirs even though it came out of the same carton. I just don't understand it.
My car looks like a crime scene. It doesn't matter how many times I clean it. I was driving the other day with the windows open, and a Snickers wrapper blew from the backseat into my face. I hate peanuts, and I don't buy it, but somehow it ended up in my car. If I pull out car seats, you'd be amazed at how a McDonald's cheeseburger will look exactly the same as it did two weeks ago when I bought it. Threats of not not lettting them eat in the car anymore unless they clear their trash goes unheeded.
Somehow my bed is the magical land of sweet dreams. Apparently, one is able to fall asleep fast and sleep much more deeply while in it. I didn't get that memo, but my kids did. That is the one place they want to be while sick....snot running, and sweat pouring, all in my wonderful sheets. Ugh.
But as my kids will always say, "Mommy says she has no purpose in life without us!" Darn tootin!
Stupid double post!!!
I am not on the 2nd Trimester board yet but I think I know the post you are referring to because it was tagged and mentioned on another board that I lurk on from time to time that is chock full of horrible, caddy, judgemental and just plain not nice women.
This is what I love about this board we can have a conversation without the drama, without the judgement and people are treated with respect and no one gets their panties in a bunch and sends the whole board to belittle a post they don't agree with.
ARe you referering to the post from the woman who hates being pregnant and everyone jumped all over her?
I understand that not everyone is going to have the sunshine and roses feel of pregnancy. There are a lot of body changes and life changes that go along with being pregnant and I don't think less of someone who just needs to vent about how being pregnant is not all it is chalked up to be.
I am in the earlier stages of pregnancy and there are days where I feel great and then there are days that I don't want to get out of bed cause I am so tired or my MS will hit me at random times of the day at the most inconvenient of times and I think well this sucks but I get over it.
Sometimes it just makes you feel better to get it off your chest to say this stinks! It doesn;t make you ungrateful for the end product it just makes you human and in tune with how you feel. Better to be honest with your feelings then fake it and not be true to yourself.
Kudos to you for being honest. I don't think there is anything wrong with airing how you feel.
Love your new LOs name by the way
Yes that would be the post. And yes they were so far up the poor woman's a$$ that she ran screaming from TB never to be seen again.
Thanks for the acceptance - we all have to go through the FTM throws of the WTH am I doing? Freak outs and all that stuff. Some are better with explaining feelings than others.
And thanks - it took us a few days of arguing to agree on the name lol
Giggling...butt that resembles a life raft! LOL!!! VERY FUNNY (and oddly true)! Just wanted to send a virtual hug to you....this whole prego thing IS hard. I have good days, great days, bad days, horrid days etc. And I can OHHHHH-SOOOO relate to the whole maternity clothes vent you so eloquently poured out. YES! I don't want to spend zillions of $ on these things....and some of the clothes are HORRID! Arrrggghhh. Being a professional gal, makes it hard to be sure.
And I do think it's important to be who we are. And live authentically. And your post states that beautifully. Hang in there!!!
It is on the 2nd Trimester Board. 2nd page almost at the bottom now. She refers to the fact that she hates being pregnant ....but the women railed her so badly I think she is gone forever....
That is why I said ....the journey sucks ..... its like a really crappy road trip but when you see where you end up its amazing and worth every second.
You are welcome! I was reading the posts and those girls/ women were horrible. Those shrews jummped down her throat and some were just overly rediculous. She never said she didn't want to be pregnant she was just venting about how hard it is and how much she is realizing that life as she knows it is changing. Instead of being supported or understood the crazies ripped her apart and went ape #$@% on her for no reason! It was insane! I felt bad for the girl. Thank God this board is filled with level headed, compassionate women who get it!
Poor lady. I stay off the tri boards, it's a flamefest.
Thanks for this thread. I nearly nodded my head off when I read the original thread in the tri board. I was ready to hit reply and relate but then I read all the claws-out replies she received.
This is pregnancy #1 for me and so far the only thing I like is that my husband doesn't become a jerk every 28-30 days
right now. I have mentioned to my husband that we should begin the paper work for adopting a 2nd child (I am ok with any age) but I don't think he thinks I am serious. I would happily stop at 1 pregnancy and adopt as many as he'd like after that! I just cannot imagine willingly choosing to become pregnant again. That said, perhaps I'll forget all this in 5 months.
I honestly windered if I would forget too....I decided to keep a very detailed journal account so that I can write a book about the TRUE HE!! we endure as FTMs.
With any luck this is keep me in check....
So.. I missed the original post... I'm totally in agreement with hating being pregnant.. I LOVE being a mommy.. have always wanted to be one... and cherish every moment with my daughter and can't wait to meet this little guy, but I totally HATE being pregnant.. every bit of it.. I am GRATEFUL for being able to bring a healthy baby into this world, bc I know that I'm LUCKY to be able to do so.. so many wonderful people unfortunately can't (which is so NOT fair)... but..
I want my body back.
So far NO ONE in my family understands how I am not happy 24/7.
"OMG I LOVED being pregnant"
Ummm hello? I dont like feeling like I have two little people hiding under my dress pacing my everystep......I want my nice mid sized butt back. Not this THING that needs a sign that says WIDE LOAD PLEASE KEEP BACK 200 FEET