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Food Allergy
Miller238
member
Vent post for anyone needing to vent!
Miller238
member
in Food Allergy
I almost hate holidays now. It means going over to someone in my family's house, and everyone has dogs. My daughter scored >100 on her RAST to dog dander and saliva, so it is pretty serious. Her eye swelled shut on Mother's Day when her face rubbed up against a couch pillow.
I was told I was overbearing this weekend, and it pissed me off. I always run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to keep my daughter off the floors and away from couches and the dog when at my parent's house. No one gets that dander floats in the air and no matter how much you vacuum, it is still there! She had a hive on her leg within 10 minutes of being there this weekend. I gave her Zyrtec, Tylenol, and Benadryl on Sunday. She was a disaster going to bed on Sunday night because of all the allergens in her system. It makes her miserable.
My aunt pissed me off too. She had brought peanut M&Ms, and I asked her nicely if she could put them away and not eat them. She said, "Geez, it's not like I am going to give her one." I had to explain that that wasn't the point.
And she thinks I am nuts about the dogs and thinks I exaggerate her allergies. All I can say is that if you don't deal with it, you just DON'T get it. I could have seriously punched her this weekend. Her amount of judging and side eye glances aren't welcome.
And I haven't even touched on the food issue. You all know what that is like, so I will leave that vent for another time!
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Re: Vent post for anyone needing to vent!
I hear ya! i know you have it much worst than me and i can't imagine how much more stressful that must be.
I dread holidays also! I loved Easter and Christmas and now i wish they never existed.
I'm also having a lot of dislike feelings towards my 7 year old nephew (SIL's son). He's just a child but yet i can't stop trying to separate him from my son. he wants to touch him all the damn time and everyone thinks i'm ridiculous. I saw him lick his face once which is an issue on its own. he wants to kiss him all the time and it's actually starting to creep me out. My other nephew just plays with him.. doesn't need to touch him. Why does this 7 y/o child need to touch him so much? hold his hand, kiss his face, pick him up.... His mother thinks it's cute.
My DH can bu super awesome with his allergies. he's overly protective and wants whats best for him.. BUT when it comes to his family he's too easy. He doesn't every tell them to wash their hands or stop kissing him - i do and i am the b*tch of the family b/c of it. But yet he reminds me to tell my mom to wash her hands (even though she rushes to the bathroom before she even says hi to me). My FIL's wife has dementia and is very forgetful so i don't want her near him with out my DH or i in the room.. yet he keeps asking, let my dad and his wife baby sit for once.. umm, no -never -not going to happen. Last time she whipped out a PBJ sandwich right above my DS's head.
i have much more to vent so i might come back
We hosted the 4th for family like we usually do. People used to bring things but I don't have them do that anymore. It's the only way I can control the menu and make sure I know exactly what is around the boys.
Last night was a different story. We had neighbors over - pretty unplanned - and people brought things. I can deal with desserts that have milk/egg in them but nuts drive me round the bend. One neighbor brought over a huge platter of Thai peanut noodle salad. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I politely took it and placed it to the side away from all the other food while I figured out how to handle it. Another neighbor - who has a kid with peanut allergies - must have said something to her because she came back in from outside and apologized for not thinking which was nice.
In the end I took it as an opportunity to show DS#3 what a peanut looked like and asked him if peanuts were safe for him. He said no so at least I know he's listening. But I was pretty mad at myself for letting my guard down and not being vigilant about what came in this house. Lesson for next time.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
I am just so sick of bringing food everywhere I go!! B-day parties, cookouts, out to eat.. it just all so freaking stressful, sometime I would much rather just stay in.
Also, some of my closes friends have stopped inviting us over for meals. I have one friend in particular that we used to get together at least once a week for lunch with our kids. That has totally stopped. I know that it is stressful to deal with it, but it just makes me feel bad that they would rather no deal with the allergy than, spend time with friends.
In general my close friends and church family have been very understanding, but another good friend, twice has given her son peanut butter crackers while either at her house, or if we were somewher else hanging out. One time, she forgot.. no big deal, the other time she said sorry it was the only thing she had to give her ds, to keep him calm. Gah.. I hate that it seems like I am trying to regulate other people's food intake, I just want my kiddos to me safe!
This. I felt like everywhere we went this weekend I had to pack enough stuff to last for days. With two kids worth of stuff + food for me and J- we were hauling bags into every party. It just gets old.
for some reason- being on an elmination diet again (no dairy or eggs for me and B's eczema cleared right up) has made me realize even more how limited my kids will be at parties. J's totally content to eat hotdogs and his safe cookies right now so we don't have to explain too much at parties what is/isn't safe. But I was practically drooling over all of the dips/party potatoes/cheese platters etc.
We have been sooo very very lucky to have close friends and our immediate families be as supportive as possible. My grandpa's 80th birthday party was over the weekend and my mom made all of the main dishes safe for J.
I could ditto just about everything that's been said in this post.
I feel like the black sheep of DH's family these days because of DD's allergies and the way they just don't get it. They think I'm a crazy person, and it sucks.
The amount of planning and communication with folks we're visiting and packing and vigilance needed to just go somewhere for a few hours is exhausting. Like most everyone here, I'm sure, we have to bring most of DD's own food, we have to pack a bag with her benadryl, epi pens, nebulizer, asthma meds, skin cream.. its crazy. It really just makes me want to stay home with her all the time to keep her safe and me sane, but I also don't want her to grow up feeling isolated or alienated because of her asthma/allergies. Such a double-edged sword.
I wish more people were educated about what FAs really mean.
The O'Baby Blog
I'm sorry
I get a knot it my stomach every time my phone rings now.
i hope she's ok.
what sunblock do you use? she may just need to be covered more and avoid sunblock... but how covered can you be with 90 degree weather -impossible. really sucks.
I'm so sorry.
We did have a sunscreen reaction and it took me weeks to figure it out (he was broken out all over). We use the Neutrogena Pure and Free baby now and haven't had any issues since.
That is what we used. We have used that for a year. WTF?!
Sorry Miller! UGH. I hope you can figure it out.
My big vents. 1, we live in an 1100 sq ft house. Perfect for us while I stay home, but we are going to need to host every effing party, holiday, etc. DH is allergic to cats and dogs, but nobody in either family (except my parents who found a new home for their cat) cares. His mother, father and sister all live within 15 minutes and all have 2 pets that make him sick. Fast forward to now when Owen has trouble breathing, needs the neb, etc every time he is near a house with a cat and they feel worse, but not that bad. They keep getting animals. SO. EFFING. FRUSTRATING. Okay, get your cats and dogs, but don't feel sad when we don't come over. And I hate to be the hostess all the time. AHHH!
Another big vent is when I got called overbearing (only on the bump) for being upset when my FIL had a bird feeder with PEANUTS in his front yard. Remember, DH and DS are allergic to their cats and we were looking forward to being outside and chilling in the fresh air. We noticed as we were leaving (well, I saw a HUGE bag of peanuts behind DS at the table) and there were peanuts EVERYWHERE. It was intense and my immediate reaction was we couldn't go back. *sigh* When we talked to them (DH did), they felt badly, but never realized. Exactly. EXACTLY. And they love him and care if he is ill.
Maybe we need a VENT post more often. I feel better and a little worse.
I feel my blood pressure going up as I am reading this. WOW! I can't see how you can continue going there. At all. I mean, you gave it a good effort. I am so sorry.
oh no!
I hope you guys figured it out. I hate phantom breakouts. I usually chalk ours up to his skin being so sensitive (from months of eczema and all the steriod cream we used) that anything environmental can trigger it.
My own father looks at me and says, "really?! really?! Don't you think you are overreacting a little bit?"
My husband blamed every red spot and fussy period on my diet even though I was very strict while breastfeeding.
Now that I'm formula feeding him (Neocate) per the allergist, everyone asks why I'm not breastfeeding anymore and proceeds to bombard me with a million things I already know and have discussed with his GI specialist, immunologist, and pediatrician.
His formula is an entire weeks paycheck for me each month.
When breastfeeding, I couldn't go out to eat without looking like a jerk to the wait staff asking what felt like a million questions.
The fact that I was harder on myself than anyone ever could have been and cried daily. I still cry a lot.
PS- I hope everything is okay with the sunscreen! I freak out when I see a call from my mother, too.
I get way too much $hit from my mom. I have Celiac, and only found out about it because both of my kids cannot tolerate even trace amounts of gluten; their condition and the fact that they were too young for testing led me to get tested. She refuses to believe that they have Celiac and insists that I'm making life too hard for everyone. I asked her how she explains their rashes, snotfaucets, and extreme behavior changes/crying/screaming when they get glutened. Her answer? "Honey, that's just normal toddler/preschooler stuff". It makes my blood boil. Like I would CHOOSE this kind of life for the fun of it?! What does she take me for?! I would offer to let her keep the kids for a week and do her own gluten trial on them so she could watch everything explode in her face, but I'd never subject my kids to that pain just to teach her a lesson.
It's the same way with all their other food intolerances. Nothing has turned up positive on allergy testing, so in our family's minds, the kids should be able to eat anything (because, you know, IgE allergies are the ONLY things that can upset a body...eye roll). To them, food simply does not cause all the issues my kids apparently experience at random (and incidentally, do not experience as long as their diet is restricted). People have NO freaking clue until they go through it. I just wish they'd shut their mouths and give the parents a little more credit.