those who've m/c: worry with TTC again?

jenwill

We m/ced in May. At the time I felt like I wanted to TTC right away. Well, now we're at the point where we can try again and now I'm feeling hesitant. I don't know-I think I'm just afraid of it happening again. Realistically, I'm telling myself it won't...but man, I just don't want to got through that again!

I'm sure others have had the same feelings-any advice? What made you push through this feeling? Thanks for any advice and letting me get my feelings out!

pinkcallalily

We will be cleared in August or September and right now I want to try again as soon as possible, but as the time gets closer I get more nervous about it.  The idea of miscarrying again scares me, but the thought of miscarrying like we did last time (knowing she would die before she did and losing her in the 2nd trimester) completely terrifies me.  I just keep reminding myself that it's unlikely to have another 2nd trimester loss and that we will never have another baby if we don't try.  I know if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again I will be nervous the whole time, but my want of another baby is stronger than my fear of losing another baby at this point in time.

For us, we've made the decision that if we have another pregnancy like this past one we will most likely move on to adoption.  So my thinking is it completely sucked, but lets try again and see what happens so we can either have our baby or move onto adoption that much sooner.

SeaSoul

i think that's a normal feeling.  i know i felt that way.  try to look at it this way...if you've only had 1 m/c, then it doesn't up your chances of having another.  even having had 2 only increases the chances by a little bit.  it's 3 or more that makes the chances greater.

i was on pins and needles my entire first tri, but i'm still glad we did it.  i think you will be too!

howleyshell

I too think it's totally normal to be concerned.

m/c is one of those things that you know about and feel SO bad for the women going thru it but then when you have one yourself you realize just how bad it REALLY is.

But... just like with IF you dig deep and find strength when push comes to shove.

For me?

My desire to have another child was stronger than my fear of another m/c.

(until my 4th loss). 

itsmevkb

I can remember wondering after my losses which would be worse, never getting pregnant again or getting pregnant only to lose another baby.  In the end, my desire for another child beat out my fears of another loss.  It's hard though because it really weighs on you.  I'm not sure if I had lost a third if I would have been able to keep trying so I think each woman has their own personal limit.  Deep down I think you'll know when you're done trying.

madybug

I have had 6 losses plus with this last pregnancy lost 2 of my triplets. It would be an understatement to say I was worried but it never stopped me from trying for more. We will start trying again within the next 6 months. Especially with already having a child I knew how great the payoff would be. I just tried to stay calm and tell myself "I can do this". ..I did it once, I can do it again.

Ali212

My m/c occurred as a surprise BFP...I was getting ready for IVF, had ordered the meds, everything and then got my BFP.  I m/c'ed early and had a D&C.  They sent everything to a lab for testing.  I was frankly raring to go but I was moving onto IVF and my RE and I had already discussed adding PGD to help minimize risk of miscarriage from a known chromosomal issue so I was a less concerned about m/c and more concerned about actually getting pg (despite my surprise BFP, my issue was getting PG, the surprise BFP was an anomaly).