Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Crushed/frustrated...just lost 5th sitter in 18 months :(

Our son needs daycare 2 days a week and the hours vary each week, so regular daycare centers are out of the question. We've been using SAHM's and in home daycares.

The first mom was a high school friend...she got pregnant and said she needed to move to a different city because her house was too small for a second child. The new city was too far of a drive...she lasted all of 2-3 months.

Our second sitter we LOVED and knew she was pregnant when we started (dumb, I know...but she assured us she would take 4-6 weeks off and then take DS back. Her baby was colicky, she wasn't sleeping, so she never took him back. She lasted about 4 months

The 3rd sitter was recommended by sitter #2 as a temporary replacement.  Once she found out sitter #2 wasn't taking us back, she told us to start looking elsewhere. She had older kids with after school activities and it was too much of a hassle to coordinate rides for them...I get it. We had her for 2 months I think.

The 4th sitter was an in home daycare. I walked in on her scolding my child harshly after he vomitted on her floor, and immediately started looking elsewhere. He was there about 3 months.  

My current sitter we've had since January. She just told me she enrolled her DS in preschool for the fall. She couldnt find a M/W opening so she had to sign him up for T/R. She doesnt want to transport my kid plus her 2 for drop offs and pick ups. That doesn't sound like much of a reason to drop him, but whatever.

I don't get it. We pay okay ($40 day for 6-7 hours per day in their home)...we are flexible with their schedules if they need us to drop off/pick up early. I bring gifts on holidays/birthdays. I'm rarely late, I pay on time. I'm a good person. My son is a good boy!

The thought of finding someone new makes me want to cry...not only because of how much work it is, but its just not fair to my son to continually have to adjust to a new routine!  

 

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Re: Crushed/frustrated...just lost 5th sitter in 18 months :(

  • Are you sure a regular center wouldn't work? Ours is very flexible and they allow you to sign your kids for just a few days/week. DS is signed up now 3x/week.  They are also pretty open when it comes to hours. They are open from 6 - 6. I would research that option more. You will probably pay more than $40/day.  We pay $196 for 3 days.  I, personally, think $40 is a bit low.

    Good luck!!!

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  • $40 a day? Your kidding, right? I was paid $15 an hour as a nanny.

    Perhaps if you pay higher you will get much better care.  

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  • imagekayteatrudeau:

    $40 a day? Your kidding, right? I was paid $15 an hour as a nanny.

    Perhaps if you pay higher you will get much better care.  

    I've nannied too, for around the same hourly rate. These aren't nannies...they are moms watching their own children along with mine, in their home. I don't think $8/hr is all that bad under those circumstances.  

    ETA: Its $6.67/hr...bad math. Still not bad, I think. He is asleep half the time he is there.  

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  • imagekayteatrudeau:

    $40 a day? Your kidding, right? I was paid $15 an hour as a nanny.

    Perhaps if you pay higher you will get much better care.  

    This is going to be a regional thing. I'm in central Kansas and day care around here runs $125 a week.  Most centers in this area don't take part time care, in fact I know of no centers in town that do.

    I'm sorry that you're struggling with this, I know it can be a pain.  I have 3 friends looking for infant care right now and not having luck.  It can be such a nightmare. GL

  • OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.
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  • imagesunandsand:

    ETA: Its $6.67/hr...bad math. Still not bad, I think. He is asleep half the time he is there.  

    Yikes! This seems really low to me. I understand that these are SAHM, but that little amount of money may just not be worth it to them. Yea, they are watching their kids already, but it so different adding another kid, who is not your own, to the mix.  I do wish you the best of luck, but I think you may have to up the pay.

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  • imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

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  • imageSailorGray:

    imagesunandsand:

    ETA: Its $6.67/hr...bad math. Still not bad, I think. He is asleep half the time he is there.  

    Yikes! This seems really low to me. I understand that these are SAHM, but that little amount of money may just not be worth it to them. Yea, they are watching their kids already, but it so different adding another kid, who is not your own, to the mix.  I do wish you the best of luck, but I think you may have to up the pay.

    I've let all the moms tell me what they charge, I've never set a fee. But maybe I will...IDK. Home daycares are around $30/day here, and I dont see this being all that different.  

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  • imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

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  • I am a SAHM and watch a little boy one day a week, in my home. I get paid $50 for 9-10 hours. I don't think $40 is too low at all. If it were a nanny, then yes that would be low. OP, I hope you find someone else that will last.
  • imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

    does your DC go FT/PT? Want to share the rate?  

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  • imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

    does your DC go FT/PT? Want to share the rate?  

    He goes 3x/week for 9 hours/day. We pay $196 and that includes meals and snacks. It's pricey, but that may also be our area. After seeing some of the other responses, I am thinking my area is higher on the DC costs. I live in the Philly area.

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  • imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

    does your DC go FT/PT? Want to share the rate?  

    He goes 3x/week for 9 hours/day. We pay $196 and that includes meals and snacks. It's pricey, but that may also be our area. After seeing some of the other responses, I am thinking my area is higher on the DC costs. I live in the Philly area.

    I will give them a call, thanks for the info. We have another one coming in December and if I spend more than like $100/day for both kids total, I will be paying more than I make per day.  

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  • It depends a lot on what area you are in for the price. A NICE daycare center around here is $30/day for infants thru wobblers. In home centers can be as low as $17/ a day for infants (what I paid last fall). I would personally refuse to pay $40....but thats just where I'm from :)
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  • imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

    does your DC go FT/PT? Want to share the rate?  

    He goes 3x/week for 9 hours/day. We pay $196 and that includes meals and snacks. It's pricey, but that may also be our area. After seeing some of the other responses, I am thinking my area is higher on the DC costs. I live in the Philly area.

    I will give them a call, thanks for the info. We have another one coming in December and if I spend more than like $100/day for both kids total, I will be paying more than I make per day.  

    Oh, I hear ya!!  Our 2nd guy is due in September and the DC costs are nuts.  I would feel bad taking DS out, though, b/c he loves it so much.  On the days he doesn't go (I work in our home office) he stand by the door saying, "Skoo, Skoo." It breaks my heart that he isn't going and it kills me that he'd rather be there.

     

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  • imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:
    imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

    does your DC go FT/PT? Want to share the rate?  

    He goes 3x/week for 9 hours/day. We pay $196 and that includes meals and snacks. It's pricey, but that may also be our area. After seeing some of the other responses, I am thinking my area is higher on the DC costs. I live in the Philly area.

    I will give them a call, thanks for the info. We have another one coming in December and if I spend more than like $100/day for both kids total, I will be paying more than I make per day.  

    Oh, I hear ya!!  Our 2nd guy is due in September and the DC costs are nuts.  I would feel bad taking DS out, though, b/c he loves it so much.  On the days he doesn't go (I work in our home office) he stand by the door saying, "Skoo, Skoo." It breaks my heart that he isn't going and it kills me that he'd rather be there.

     

    Thats adorable. And beats the alternative of dropping him off somewhere that he cries at when you leave.  

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  • I'm a SAHM and here's what you aren't realizing.  It really, really impacts your day to all of a sudden have an extra kid.  For instance, can the SAHM make plans to go to a play date at the local pool?  She'd have to cancel if it ended up that she had your LO that day.  Things like that.  It really impacts my day having my extra little charge with us.  It's really not a matter of 'he sleeps half the day' either.  Does he nap at the same time as her kiddo?  Now there are multiple naps that need to occur impacting the days events even more.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you are paying pretty darn low to be changing the schedule up on them all the time.  I get that you need to do that but you should pay more for it.  I get $55 per day (for 7 hours, 8-3) for set days and I really would need more than that to have the hassle of not knowing much in advance what days I would have the kiddo.  That really is a PITA.

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  • imagediana.filipi:

    I'm a SAHM and here's what you aren't realizing.  It really, really impacts your day to all of a sudden have an extra kid.  For instance, can the SAHM make plans to go to a play date at the local pool?  She'd have to cancel if it ended up that she had your LO that day.  Things like that.  It really impacts my day having my extra little charge with us.  It's really not a matter of 'he sleeps half the day' either.  Does he nap at the same time as her kiddo?  Now there are multiple naps that need to occur impacting the days events even more.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you are paying pretty darn low to be changing the schedule up on them all the time.  I get that you need to do that but you should pay more for it.  I get $55 per day (for 7 hours, 8-3) for set days and I really would need more than that to have the hassle of not knowing much in advance what days I would have the kiddo.  That really is a PITA.

    I get what you're saying...but its only 2 days a week. She chose to watch him plus 1 more child and uses the extra money so her kids can take Gymbo classes. Its not like I asked a friend to help me out, I placed an ad, and she responded. Like I said previously, she set her own pay. They do not go anywhere on the days he is there. I rearranged DS's nap schedule for her so it would be at the same time as hers. And the hours only slightly vary...either 11-5, 1030-430, stuff like that.  

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  • imagediana.filipi:

    I'm a SAHM and here's what you aren't realizing.  It really, really impacts your day to all of a sudden have an extra kid.  For instance, can the SAHM make plans to go to a play date at the local pool?  She'd have to cancel if it ended up that she had your LO that day.  Things like that.  It really impacts my day having my extra little charge with us.  It's really not a matter of 'he sleeps half the day' either.  Does he nap at the same time as her kiddo?  Now there are multiple naps that need to occur impacting the days events even more.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you are paying pretty darn low to be changing the schedule up on them all the time.  I get that you need to do that but you should pay more for it.  I get $55 per day (for 7 hours, 8-3) for set days and I really would need more than that to have the hassle of not knowing much in advance what days I would have the kiddo.  That really is a PITA.

    oh and to clarify, its always the same 2 days per week
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  • OP you are in a sucky situation, but I hope you find the care you are looking for.
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  • imagesunandsand:
    imagediana.filipi:

    I'm a SAHM and here's what you aren't realizing.  It really, really impacts your day to all of a sudden have an extra kid.  For instance, can the SAHM make plans to go to a play date at the local pool?  She'd have to cancel if it ended up that she had your LO that day.  Things like that.  It really impacts my day having my extra little charge with us.  It's really not a matter of 'he sleeps half the day' either.  Does he nap at the same time as her kiddo?  Now there are multiple naps that need to occur impacting the days events even more.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you are paying pretty darn low to be changing the schedule up on them all the time.  I get that you need to do that but you should pay more for it.  I get $55 per day (for 7 hours, 8-3) for set days and I really would need more than that to have the hassle of not knowing much in advance what days I would have the kiddo.  That really is a PITA.

    oh and to clarify, its always the same 2 days per week

    I also thought the days varied.  

    Both of my DDs go to a center 2 days a week.  I didn't have a problem finding a center that would take part time.  It is more expensive than in-home, but worth itIMO

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  • Right Hug Sorry you are going through this. It would suck to have to change LOs routine so much. I don't have any advice, but here the going rate for an in-home daycare is 30-35 dollars a day. I think it depends on the area. Good luck !

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  • imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

     

    I was just gonna say the same thing. I work at a Kindercare and my daughter goes there full time too. I have a baby in my infant room who comes every friday and the other day is up in the air. We had another child who came 2 days a week also but we never knew which days she would show up.

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  • I live in a LCOL area. My friend is a SAHM who watches another kid at home 2 days a week. She gets 50 a day, and thats cheap for here.

     Yep, thats more than a center, but centers have economies of scale and are able to charge less. Our centers here charge about 125 a week. They can do that because it adds up and evens out with multiple kids.

     

     No way would I watch someone's kid for less than minimum wage a day.

  • imagekayteatrudeau:

    $40 a day? Your kidding, right? I was paid $15 an hour as a nanny.

    Perhaps if you pay higher you will get much better care.  

    Eh, that's not that bad for our area (Kansas City, Missouri metro)....  our cost of living is pretty low here, so things like childcare aren't as expensive as other places. It is on the low side, but not a "you're kidding right?" amount.

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  • Wow, I can totally sympathize. We went through that this spring, only for us it was 4 different care situations over a span of 3 months. We originally had an in home provider who was amazing. She watched him from the time he was 7 months until he was... 14 months? This April anyway. She was amazing. Then she moved. I have 8 weeks left of the school year and had committed to 3 weeks of summer camp so I needed 10 weeks of care before being off for 5 weeks. Anyway, I found a SAHM friend who wanted to help us out. She lives right in our neighborhood and her son is about my son's age. She lasted about 4 weeks, but didn't take care of him one of those weeks because her son was sick and then she was sick. We were on vacation the end of one of the weeks. Anyway, she basically watched him for 2 weeks of actual full time before giving up. She gave us 2 days notice. Miraculously we were able to find an in home provider who had an opening. Technically she'd already filled the opening but the new kid wasn't starting until mid-June. So he went to her for 4 weeks. She was awesome. Then I only had 3 weeks left for Summer Camp and my mom came and took care of him since she's also a teacher and was off for the summer. When school starts again I'll have him somewhere new. Luckily my kid is pretty easy going. 

    Oh, and I only pay $30/day so I don't think the price is your issue. You need to find someone who has been doing this for several years so they know what they're getting themselves into. 

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  • It sound like you aren't paying them very much. I wouldn't watch someone else's toddler for a little over $6 an hour. I have a high school student and I pay her more (and I still feel cheap).

     I think you should look at day care. Surely, they have some flexible options.

     

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  • Call centers in your area. I would be willing to drive a good 20 minutes to the center. Ours allows 3x a week care. A nurse I work with found a place that allows 2 days a week. I bet there is a center in the area that allows that. I would stay away from chains, but worth the call.

    I dont think its the price you set but that these ladies had no idea what they were getting into.

    We pay $42 a day in a center and it includes 2 meals + 1 snack + diapers (and enfamil if you want in the infant room).

    Good luck I know this must be hard on you and DC!

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  • I wouldn't rule centers out completely. I was able to find 2 that would take DD part time when we needed it. Even more so when they are out of the infant rooms because their ratio's are higher. I would call again.
  • I am sorry you are having such a hard time.  Have you thought about going to the local elementary school and asking in the office if any moms watch other people's kids?  Not many daycare centers around here will accept kids for less than 3 days a week, many did not want to do 3.

    Also, you are not paying too little.  I have talked to 8 different people in the past week because I am looking for childcare for my DS.  The highest rate anyone charged was $50.  My cousin paid her neighbor $40 a day and another cousin paid $30.  These are not nannies, they are moms watching their own children and bringing in a little extra cash.  A lot of people don't go many places with their children, so adding another is not a big deal.  For others, it is just one more kid to throw in the car.  A few might sacrifice two days a week for an extra  $300 a month.

     

     


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  • Have you looked at local churches, if you are open to that?  The churches around us have the most versatile hours with PT care at an affordable rate, because they tend to cater to the SAHM crowd a bit more. The church I send DD to could accommodate a FT working schedule though. The centers around us offer PT but it is more pricey, as they prefer getting a FT student in the slot.
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  • We are in a LCOL area and several daycare centers around here have drop in rates. My niece goes to one that charges $35 a day. I know several in home daycares that also accept drop ins.

    Sorry you are going through this, I hope you find something soon!
  • FWIW, I live in NE and watched a little girl for $3/ hr. That was me providing food and cloth diapering her. That's just what it costs in some areas. Don't feel bad about what you are paying and I don't think that is the reason you are having issues.

    That being said, I really wasn't making enough to persuade me to keep doing it. The little girl I watched was VERY high maintenance. I couldn't handle it and had to drop her. If you are going to look for another in home, I'd find someone who has been doing it a while so you know they are also in it for the long haul. I really thought I would be able to do it and just couldn't...

  • That really stinks but it sounds like others have great suggestions for you. I don't know that you'll find anything for $40/day though. That is less than the federal minimum wage fwiw. Yes, she may be getting paid for another child too (I think you said that) but she is watching 4 kids even if 2 are her own. I would not want to add another LO to the mix to do drop offs and whatnot either on top of the other care during the day, it is a huge PITA with only 2 kids when I have one child at the dr or something and then have to go back to daycare to get the 2nd one, taket he first one out of the car, get him into the daycare, collect the other one's stuff, get them both out to the car & buckled in, etc. I think it is more complicated & more of a pain (for the $ you're paying) than you may realize, must my .02 and not trying to flame.

    GL! 

  • If it were me taking your child, $40 a day wouldn't do it for me. I think the main reason is the price and these women realize after a while that $40/day isn't worth the extra hassle. FWIW, I wouldn't BABYSIT someone else's child for less than $10/hour. That is the going rate just for babysitters for an evening.

    When I was a nanny, I started at $10/hour and after several years ended at $15/hour. You have to think that these women are adding your child to theirs so it is more of a hassle to have to do this, and especially if you will be adding one more child the mix soon.

    Even though these women SAH, I think there needs to be more incentive for them. They are giving up 2 days a week that they could be doing other stuff to care for your child and like I said, $40 may seem fine to them at first, but then they soon realize it isn't worth the extra child they have to care for.

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  • imageSailorGray:
    imagesunandsand:

    imageSailorGray:
    OP, we go to Kindercare.  I am not sure if they are in your area, but it's worth a look.

    I will, thanks! 

    I looked and it says there are 12 centers in your area.  We REALLY like them. So does DS, maybe even a little too much : )

     

    We also go to a Kindercare out here, and I may love them a little too much too:)  Both girls have been there since they were three months old, and as much as I hated them being there and being apart from them, I looooove what they're getting out of it.  And the dependability of the center.  We know in advance when there are holidays (which overlap with our office holidays), in-service days, and we have opportunities to take our vacations when it works for us.  

    Plus both girls LOVE it.  They love their teachers, their friends, everything.  We pay almost $100/day for both girls. 

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