s/o is this racist? (Naive question here)

BallSox

My preschool is predominantly white middle/upper class.  We do have a few children of different ethnicities come through the center and it never fails, the children end up having "you're not like me" discussions.  I monitor and intervene when it's necessary, but I try to let the children lead the way.  Sometimes it's as simple as "Your skin is black and mine is white"  "Yup, that's just the way I am!"  "Let's go build a bridge" "Ok!" and sometimes it's been "You can't be my friend because you don't look like me" "Uhhh, what?".  

I always feel awkward bringing it up to parents ("So, he had a good day..played in the sandbox, counted to 20, had a discussion about racial equality in the modern day preschool environment...") and I don't know why.  It's not like no one involved doesn't know/see that they are definitely outnumbered in the class and we all know how kids talk openly about these things.  

Most of these discussions have centered around race, but we do have some kids with special diets, ability levels, skin tones, family situations, etc.  Would you, as a parent, want to know if these types of discussions/situations happened (even if they didn't escalate into a big deal) or would you rather not know?  

btw, I hate these questions when I sound like an idiot because typing it out makes me feel stupid, lol.  

JenniferJaneC

You don't sound like an idiot by any means.  On the contrary - I love that you are thinking about things like this.

Speaking for myself, I'd love to know that sort of thing.  

ellephunt

If it were my kid, I'd want to know. Especially if my child was the one saying "you can't be my friend because you are different."

BallSox

ellephunt:

If it were my kid, I'd want to know. Especially if my child was the one saying "you can't be my friend because you are different."

Fwiw, it never really lasts more than a few minutes, esp when I point out what makes me different from them (I'm VERY freckled, have some moles on my neck and wear glasses) and if they don't want to be friends with (child) because they don't look alike then I guess they can't be friends with me either. 

99% of the time it's more "why are you a different color" and not hateful.   

Elaine&Matt

ellephunt:

If it were my kid, I'd want to know. Especially if my child was the one saying "you can't be my friend because you are different."

Same here.  

Button goes to a very mixed daycare, so I can always hope that because it's always been that way and he's been there since he was 6 weeks old, he won't think anything of it. 

CamJack mom

I would only want to know if my child were saying something negative. I have no desire to know every detail I would hope the teacher would do exactly what you were doing.

SamSam31

I agree with everyone.  It doesn't sound stupid at all, in fact, I'm glad you're addressing it when they are so young.  I would totally want to know if my kid were the one saying he can't be friends with someone else because they're different.  I would want to address that fast and stop it from getting worse.

GBCK

What fred said.

I'd want to know so I can re-enforce thsoe kickass mini lessons you're giving