I cannot believe this is happening to me — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I cannot believe this is happening to me

I am new to this board and really looking for support. It has been a rollercoster ride for both myself and my DH over the last week... I went for my first appointment last wednesday and left feeling everything was great. That night I started spotting, was told it could happen due to the pap.  By Monday it turned to bleeding so I went to the ER and after 5 hrs I was asked "are you sure about your dates?"  the first thought was wow I am further along then I thought then the I was told I was measuring 6weeks and 3 days when I was actually 10 weeks and 1 day.  I was refered to the clinic they have at the hospital and after 6 hrs yesterday was given options as it did not look like the M/C would happen naturally.  I will be having a D/C this afternoon and I just cannot believe this is happening.  I think the hardest thing for me to get my head around is that I have been walking around for a month with nothing thinking it was something.  It makes me angry and wish I knew sooner.  I don't feeling like going to work and talking to people, or stopping on the street and having small talk.  When will this feeling go away??  I am usually known as such a happy person and I feel this has changed me.  sorry for the long rant though I know I am in the right place.   Sorry ladies for what you are going through also.   

BFP #1 on 5.28.11,EDD 01.22.12, u/s showing miss m/c 6.27.11, D&C 7.01.11 at 10weeks 5days

BFP #2 on 2.14.12,.EDD 10.22.12, Baby Dhillon was born on 10.13.12

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 BFP#3 on 8.16.13, EDD 4.17.14, Hang on here we go again!!

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Re: I cannot believe this is happening to me

  • so, so sorry for your loss. Know you are not alone..there are many of us on this board asking the same questions/feeling the same feelings.  my thoughts are with you.
    Chemical Pregnancy 2001, Married 8/8/09, TTC April 2011, BFP 5/8/11, Missed M/C @ 9wk5d, D&C 6/21/11 BFP 11/13/11 Chase Everett born at 29wks 0 days on 5/7/12 at 2 lbs 14 oz, 14 1/2 inches long.
  • I'm very sorry for your loss and that you have to go through this pain.  It is, like you said, an emotional rollercoaster.  I had a natural MC about a week ago that started only a few days after an u/s where everything looked good.  You have every right to feel sad, angry and to not want to see people or chit chat with them.  For the first week I did nothing but go from my bed, to my couch, watch tv, take naps, cry, and go to bed early.  I left the house to go to a couple appointments by myself.  Songs on the radio made me cry.  I feel like I spent a full week just as puddle of sadness.  I had my follow up appointment on Tuesday and have felt a little better since then.  I plan to leave the house today for fun and not just because I have to.  It may or may not go well.  It's so hard to tell when any of us will feel like we did before the loss or if we will ever feel exactly the same again.  We're here for you though when you need to rant, ask questions, or just ramble on.  Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this all.
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    ~Started TTC 2/09. BFP #1 11/09. EDD 8/7/10. DS born 8/7/10.~
    ~Surprise BFP #2 5/11 while still BF'ing. Natural M/C @ 7w3d.~
    ~BFP #3 8/11. EDD 4/24/12. Heavy bleeding episodes from a lost twin. DD born 4/14/12.~
    ~Started TTC 2/13. BFP #4 3/13. EDD 11/8/13. Hoping for smooth sailing!~
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  • So sorry for your loss. This board is a good place to go for support. I miscarried a couple of weeks ago and it has gotten a bit better for me. The first week I didn't want to talk to anyone other than DH and my mom. I was so consumed with sadness that I just couldn't do much. Now I am at a place where I have good days and sad days. Hugs to you.
    BFP#1 7/09 DS born 3/30/10 BFP#2 5/11 M/C 6/11 BFP#3 9/11 M/C 10/11 BFP #4 5/20/12 Pregnancy Ticker
  • delinodelino
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
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    I am so sorry for your loss.  I think all of us have asked the question "why me?" and said over and over again "I can't believe this is happening to me".  Prior to my confirmed ectopic, I kept telling myself that everything will be fine because this type of thing would never happen to me.  In the end it did and now I must deal with the loss and figure out how to move forward..it will take longer to move on.  I too am a "happy person", or atleast I appear that way to outsiders, and look forward to getting back to that place, which I am slowly but surely and you will too.  This board has been an amazing outlet for me to get that additional support that my friends and family are unable to provide only because they have not been through this.  Good luck to you and we are here for you.
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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  • I am so sorry for your loss! Give yourself lots of time to grieve...be angry and sad and spend some time healing on your own. I think we've all felt the same way. It does get easier to manage. Big hugs!!
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