"Cry it out" - Another bedtime post

SwissMs99

So Violet's pedi recommended that we now let Violet "cry it out" if she wakes up during the night....he explained that she's at a good weight & age to try it out.

I feed her between 9-10 (last call feeding) & she wakes up at 3am, I nurse her & put her back to bed, she wakes up at 5am, I nurse her again & put her back to bed then start getting ready for work.

So should I let her "cry out" the 3am feeding? I mean, I'm ready to feed her...but for awhile she was sleeping until 5am & not waking up at 3am so I don't mind sleeping those 2 extra hours.

 Does anyone do this or have it recommended by their pedi?

SwissMs99

By the way - now I'm all freaked out that I'm not putting her to bed at the right time....my pedi didn't mention any issue with our current timeframe. Ugh, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with this raising a kid stuff! lol

Plus now that I'm back at work....if I put her to bed between 6-7 ....I would only get barely an hour with her.

katlizabeth

I haven't talked to my pedi about this (like others might say, I'll ask him for medical advice, or opinions on parenting, but he's not a parenting expert, per se, kwim?).  I'd recommend reading some sleep books about sleep development.  I went to my library when ds was at the age when I needed sleep help and checked out a bunch so I could get a variety of opinions.  If you're someone who wants to do CIO, you might want to read Ferber's Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child (I think that's what it's called, I loaned mine to a friend).  I also liked The No Cry Sleep Solution, as far as "sleep training" goes.  There was another book (that I can't remember) that I read and it really gave me an understanding of a child's sleep needs/schedule. 

As far as CIO goes, I've read 4 months is the youngest that children are developmentally ready to soothe themselves.  Also, from everything I've read, it's normal for bf babies to wake at night for up to 6 months.  (ds did for a year!)  Maybe your dd is going through a growth spurt and she's hungry at 3 am again?   Is she actively eating at 3 am, or just soothing herself?  If she's eating, I'd recommend to feed her.   If she's just soothing, maybe try something else to soothe her, rather than nursing.  Good luck on whatever you decide.  

Scout05

I think sleep training is pointless and inappropriate before four months at the earliest, and our pedi agrees.

DD is still waking up once a night, and eating about 6 ounces at that time. She clearly isn't ready to drop that feeding. We feed on demand, regardless of time of night. That's just what we feel is right for her and for us.

I will say, we don't run in right away if she's just making noises, because sometimes she will go back to sleep on her own. But any crying, and we go in right away.

I don't think I would be comfortable starting any kind of CIO before six months, and that's only if I really think DD is just waking out of habit and not need.

ETA: Our timetable is 7 pm to bed (that's her, she just meltsdown if try to push it to later), 1:30-2:30 waking for diper and bottle (generally takes about 15-20 minutes for the whole thing) and then up between 4:30-5:00 for the day. Today she slept until 5:30, and we were giddy with gratitude.

katlizabeth

Oh, I know I mentioned growth spurt in my previous response, but since that one was so long (sorry!) I thought it was worth mentioning again-especially when I noticed your dd was 11 weeks.  My dd is about the same and woke up an extra time the past few nights to nurse, so I assumed growth spurt. 

SwissMs99

Thanks for the book recs! My pedi has 6 kids so that's why I took this advice a little more to heart...although, I agree - he's not a complete expert.

This 3am wake up - I gave her a paci to see if she just needed to suck...but it popped right out & the crying resumed...it was like a "nice try, Mom!" kind of cry now that I think about it. lol So you may be on to something that this is a growth spurt thing....and she definitely eats until she's satisfied. I didn't try the paci at the 5am feed - I guess I could give it a shot tomorrow am.

Thanks again!

SwissMs99

katlizabeth:

Oh, I know I mentioned growth spurt in my previous response, but since that one was so long (sorry!) I thought it was worth mentioning again-especially when I noticed your dd was 11 weeks.  My dd is about the same and woke up an extra time the past few nights to nurse, so I assumed growth spurt. 

Yeah - the time is going so fast that I didn't think of the 3 month growth spurt...I'm just worn out from recently going back to work (this is my first week back full t ime), H sleeps through it all, he promised to help me out last night for her bedtime routine but my ILs called & distracted him - so I don't mean to sound whiny...I'm just exhausted today...wish I could cat nap while I pumped here at work! lol

Thanks

MissLadyTay

My baby boy is breast fed.  He still wakes up sometimes at 3 am.  When he does, it is because he is HUNGRY.  He attacks the boob and eats like there is no tomorrow for a good 20 minutes.  I wouldn't be comfortable denying him that feeding.  I feel like when they are still this little, they wake up because they need something.

SwissMs99

Scout05:

I think sleep training is pointless and inappropriate before four months at the earliest, and our pedi agrees.

DD is still waking up once a night, and eating about 6 ounces at that time. She clearly isn't ready to drop that feeding. We feed on demand, regardless of time of night. That's just what we feel is right for her and for us.

I will say, we don't run in right away if she's just making noises, because sometimes she will go back to sleep on her own. But any crying, and we go in right away.

I don't think I would be comfortable starting any kind of CIO before six months, and that's only if I really think DD is just waking out of habit and not need.

ETA: Our timetable is 7 pm to bed (that's her, she just meltsdown if try to push it to later), 1:30-2:30 waking for diper and bottle (generally takes about 15-20 minutes for the whole thing) and then up between 4:30-5:00 for the day. Today she slept until 5:30, and we were giddy with gratitude.

Thanks for the feedback! Our monitor is on the setting that only picks up the crying so when I wake up enough to realize it's V - she's made her point loud and clear she is up and ready - haha! So I don't run in there for every little sound too (well, I don't know - I did for a hot minute ... I'll admit!)

SwissMs99

MissLadyTay:

My baby boy is breast fed.  He still wakes up sometimes at 3 am.  When he does, it is because he is HUNGRY.  He attacks the boob and eats like there is no tomorrow for a good 20 minutes.  I wouldn't be comfortable denying him that feeding.  I feel like when they are still this little, they wake up because they need something.

Thanks - this is helpful!! 

MissLadyTay

SwissMs99:

MissLadyTay:

My baby boy is breast fed.  He still wakes up sometimes at 3 am.  When he does, it is because he is HUNGRY.  He attacks the boob and eats like there is no tomorrow for a good 20 minutes.  I wouldn't be comfortable denying him that feeding.  I feel like when they are still this little, they wake up because they need something.

Thanks - this is helpful!! 

I know how horrible it can be to try to get through the work day when you've been up in the middle of the night - hugs.  I hope your little one starts sleeping longer stretches soon!

SwissMs99

MissLadyTay:

SwissMs99:

MissLadyTay:

My baby boy is breast fed.  He still wakes up sometimes at 3 am.  When he does, it is because he is HUNGRY.  He attacks the boob and eats like there is no tomorrow for a good 20 minutes.  I wouldn't be comfortable denying him that feeding.  I feel like when they are still this little, they wake up because they need something.

Thanks - this is helpful!! 

I know how horrible it can be to try to get through the work day when you've been up in the middle of the night - hugs.  I hope your little one starts sleeping longer stretches soon!

I miss being able to just hop back into bed on mornings like this!!! lol 

ckolak

I was under the impression that you shouldn't start any "sleep training" including CIO until 4 months at the youngest. IMO your baby is too young.

PAmiler82

I believe I saw in one of your earlier replies that you just returned to work this week.  I've had a few friends whose LOs started waking up a bit more when they returned to work.

Routine is a little different, LO may be missing you a bit, and (especially if BFing) they may not be taking in as much milk during the day b/c of the change so they start waking back up at night.  I also agree that a growth spurt may be involved.

If my friends' experiences are the norm, then LO will adjust in the next couple of weeks and may start sleeping longer stretches.

RunningGal900

I don't think I will be ready to do cry it out until he is at least 6 months old, but I am reading Ferber's book right now. I haven't gotten very far through it, but so far what I'm reading makes sense. His method lets her cry, but allows you to go in and reassure her so she doesn't think she has been abandoned. According to him, just simply letting babies cry doesn't do much to teach them to put themselves to sleep. Again, I'm only about 100 pages in and haven't tried it myself, but the sleep science that the book includes is very interesting to me.

Whatever you decide, I would suggest reading some of the sleep development books and decide what method works for you. 

RunningGal900

Also, I agree that your daughter might still be hungry. My DS is very clearly hungry when he wakes at night. He chows down at 3 am when he wakes.

rachelhahn23

I dont know..it is up to you. Liam wakes at about these exact times and he is about that age...but when he wakes up it is because he is hungry, and he does go back down. I just feel like its cruel for me to let him cry it out.

RunningGal900

Also, I agree that your daughter might still be hungry. My DS is very clearly hungry when he wakes at night. He chows down at 3 am when he wakes.

SwissMs99

Thanks everyone! I hadn't tried it yet - just tried the paci the other night, which didn't work & I immediately fed her. I was surprised he mentioned it to me (once at the first check up & then at the 2 month check up).

I know this too shall pass & will just keep on doing what I have been doing. 

Thanks again!

handsonthewheel

I think CIO is really outdated in general and don't plan to use it at all, but if we were to use it, I wouldn't dream of trying it before 6 months. We may try the Baby Whisperer "pick up / put down" method at some point but the book even says that babies aren't ready for this before 4 months (and we wouldn't try this until 6 months at the earliest). 

CIO for really young babies was very popular in the 70s/80s, so it may just be a generational difference with your doctor. My mom and MIL have mentioned in passing that our DD is at about the age to let her CIO and I had to explain that the research now shows that it really should never be used so early, as babies cannot self soothe that young.