I think I watched too many episodes of "16 and Pregnant" last night.

Llamamama

Dh was working late so I watched some of my DVR'd episodes.. By the time he got home I was a mess.  "Poor me" was the theme of the night.  I am so frustrated.  After 22 unsuccessful cycles of TTC I feel like a total failure.  Dh sees it as "If its not something you can control-you can't fail at it".  So to him it's like trying to win the lottery and then feeling like a failure when you don't.  It IS like winning the lottery but unlike the lottery there are steps you can take to make your attempts at success more possible.  He doesn't see it that way.  I just want to look into the HSG to see if I have any blockage.  If I am blocked, maybe the test will unblock me.  If I am completely open then I can concentrate on other reasons that this is not happening.  Dh thinks no matter what I find out I will not be satisfied.  He's right, but its better than no knowing ANYTHING.

The ironic thing is that this morning we were discussing how the water pressure in the shower seems more powerful after we momentarily shut off the water for a repair.  His exact words: "I'll bet there was a blockage of some sort in the pipes.  The water being off and then turned back on suddenly probably cleared out the blockage."  I just looked at him and said "Exactly" 

solarflare

Oh man - "16 and pregnant" no good for us TTC over 35 girls, Llama! I understand though - I torture myself with that kind of stuff in different ways all the time. 

You may want to look into the HSG. It is standard before any fertility treatments, and they also say it increases your chances of conceiving for a few months because everything gets flushed out (clean out them cobwebs!). Even my acupuncturist reiterated that (well, not the cobwebs part). Maybe your OB can order it as diagnostic. I had it ordered through my RE as diagnostic and it was covered by insurance that way.

I am with you - I'd rather know what's going on to rule certain things out.  I know you are in a situation with an OB, not an RE, but it's worthwhile to ask what additional testing is available to you.  

Llamamama

Thanks Solarflare.  I am starting to look into doing it.  I did ask my OB a while ago about it and she made it sound like it would be a waste of time for me.  She even said "That test is to look for damage done by STD's."  I am starting to think that she has no interest in helping me achieve my goal. 

 

winidpu

I thought it was just me having a rough day. I did the poor me all day today because I feel like AF is right around the corner and this will be cycle 16 for me so I'm right there w/ you or at least very close. We can play the what if game until the cows come home. I make myself crazy doing that. I think it's in our DNA for all women to do that. The more we want something the more it just doesn't seem to happen. Hang in there.

hrock74

llamama...I dont know if you've already done this, but I would suggest seeing an RE.  I had my first meeting yesterday and the HSG is IF testing protocol.  I can't believe your OB would just write it off as a test to look for STD's.  That answer leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth...maybe it's time to speak to someone else. 

Llamamama

I think I am going to email my OB one more time and ask if the HSG test would be something she COULD order (assuming I can talk her into it) or if it would only be available if I went to IF.  Dh is my problem if that is the case.  He is not on board with getting "help" to get pg unless its just stuff I would do.  No SA test for him, etc.

solarflare

Llamamama:

I think I am going to email my OB one more time and ask if the HSG test would be something she COULD order (assuming I can talk her into it) or if it would only be available if I went to IF.  Dh is my problem if that is the case.  He is not on board with getting "help" to get pg unless its just stuff I would do.  No SA test for him, etc.

I just thought of something else for you. Since DH isn't willing to do a SA, maybe you could do a post-coital exam. That way they check and see if there are sperm in the right place. This exam is mostly to check in on your cervical mucous, but as an aside it will see if there are sperm there doing their thing. Although it won't give you a detailed analysis, it will be one more little test for you to make some observations from. 

Llamamama

Thanks for the tip solarflare!  I will look into that as well.