July 2011 Moms

August Wedding - err.. what about the baby?

I just got an invitation to DH's cousin's wedding. They're a close family and it would be fun to go. The problem is that I'm due July 21 and the wedding is August 25. I'm sure that my mom would be more than happy to watch the (yet to even be named) baby, but is that a good idea? I assume that taking a baby to a wedding is pretty much out of the question, especially since it is in the evening.

So do I go ahead and just decline or is there a possibility that I can make it work? Yeah, I have no idea. I've never had a month old baby before. 

Re: August Wedding - err.. what about the baby?

  • I'm interested to see what responses you get because I would be inclined to say yes to the invite.  Might be nice to get out for a night. 

    But I'm like you, I've never had a baby before either, so what do I know?  Nothing.  That's what I know. lol

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  • You can absolutely go!  That is- IF you want to.

    Questions-

    Is the wedding local or do you have to travel?

    Do you plan to BF?

    Did the invite come to just you- or include the baby?  Someone people have kid-free wedding so they might not want the baby there.  If the invite included the baby and it is local, you could always bring the baby to the ceremony and then have your mom watch them for the reception.

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  • I don't see the problem with taking her. You kinda make it seem like LO will be unable to travel. Babies are as portable as you make it, if you are worried about people touching/lurking/looking at baby just put a blanket over the carseat.

    For where you said taking a baby to a wedding was out of the question. It's a baby, not an animal.

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  • DH and I are invited to a wedding in August as well.  We have replied yes and totally intend to go without baby.  I have a feeling our evening will be cut short though as I know now I'll be wondering how our LO is doing!   None the less we'll go as long as baby is healthy. 

    The couple is aware of us having a newborn and would completely understand if we had to bail at the last second for whatever reason. 

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  • I would so go. Take the baby with you. The baby will be a month old and will probably either sleep or want to eat during the wedding anyways so there won't be to much noise coming from your baby. We have taken DD to a bunch of weddings and she is so good and goes with the flow.
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  • Like PP said, definitely do check the invitation (or maybe even ask the bride, if you feel comfortable doing that?) to see if kids/babies are invited.  Sometimes people feel comfortable making exceptions for nursing babies, because they know the logistics involved can be really complicated.

    I was in a wedding about a month after DS was born, and babies/children were not invited, but my mom stayed with DS in the church nursery during the ceremony so he would be close by in case he needed to nurse (we weren't doing bottles yet by that age) without disturbing the ceremony.  Similarly, there was a room at the reception site where my mom could hang out with DS and I would drop by periodically to check in, nurse, etc.

    As PP asked, is the wedding in town/within driving distance, or out of town?

    It's definitely doable

  • So I'm looking back over the invites and there are two events:

          Wedding: Thursday, church, 7pm
          Reception: Saturday, bride's parents' home, 5pm - 10pm

    Each are about an hour drive away.Both invites are addressed to me and DH.

    Big yes on the BF, but I assume I'll be able to pump enough for an evening out. Big assume there. I'm thinking of skipping the ceremony and attending what seems to be a more casual reception.

    If the baby starts wailing in the ceremony, it's kind of a bummer, but if her starts wailing during the reception is is no big deal, right?

    The bride is super sweet and would probably say yes even if a baby would be a big disruption. I don't really want to put her on the spot, but I'm thinking of asking her mom.

  • ksulliksulli member
    I'm in a wedding in September (9/25, I'm due 7/1) and will bring LO. My parents are also invited, so we'll have help if we needed it, but I'd bring LO even if they weren't going. The bride is well aware of the situation and excited to meet baby that weekend.
    *Married 10.10.08*
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  • Well, first I'd check with DH's cousin about the baby before deciding. I'd hope that the couple would understand if you felt it necessary to have the baby with you.

    When I sent out my (evening, formal) wedding invitations, 2 friends were pregnant at the time and due shortly before the wedding. I included notes in their invitations that their babies would be welcome to the wedding, but of course seeing how they weren't born at the time, I couldn't exactly address the invitation to the baby. Maybe the couple meant to include your baby but it slipped their minds.

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  • We're (DH, I, baby) are invited to DH's cousin's wedding in MN in mid-August. The only reason why we would consider NOT going is DD's health due to being a preemie.

    But, assuming she was born at term, we would be going.


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  • I went to an out of town wedding for one of my best college friends when DD was 6wks old.  She was a HUGE hit at the rehearsal dinner (passed around like a bowl of chips).  She was at the ceremony and cried once (as I was walking out of the area).  There weren't any babysitters available (OOT), but my friend was fine with her being there.  Ask your friends what they think.
  • I would never under any circumstances assume my kids were invited unless specifically mentioned on the invite. That said, we are going to a wedding in august, and ds will be with my mom. If she wasn't available we wouldn't be going.
    BFP#1 11/10* DS Born via Cesarean 7/11* BFP#2 EDD 1/31/14 *M/C 6/13* BFP #3 RCS 3/14/14
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  • It seems pretty low-key so I would probably take LO with me if so inclined. At a month you will be hesitant to leave the baby with someone else BUT it's nice to have a nice night out, get dressed up and leave your worries behind for a few hours. 
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  • imageksulli:
    I'm in a wedding in September (9/25, I'm due 7/1) and will bring LO. My parents are also invited, so we'll have help if we needed it, but I'd bring LO even if they weren't going. The bride is well aware of the situation and excited to meet baby that weekend.

     

    i'm in the same boat. wedding that i'm a bridesmaid in on 9/25. but i'm due 7/28. so my LO will be little little. My parents are also invited to this wedding. this girl was in my wedding last year and we've known her forever. her mom and my mom are close friends. the assumption has always been that Turner will be with all of us at the wedding. I figure the majority of the day he'll be with me or close enough to me (DH can take him when i need to get hair and make up done) to breastfeed. During the ceremony and photos DH can take him, or my parents. Then during the reception we'll just have his carseat next to my parents seats at their table, and if he's not in someone's arms he can be there if he's sleeping.

    i guess we'll have to have some breastmilk in bottles for this event too. it'll be just around the time i'll be willing (i think) to introduce a bottle. but he'll be nursing every chance i can make that happen.

    it'll be the first big event/night out since his birth. i'm looking forward to it but scared too. and don't even get me started on the dress I'll have to fit into and look good in...

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  • DH and I also got invited to a wedding about a month after we are due, and to top it off, it is in the Outer Banks of NC (we live in Philly).  In our case, the wedding is super casual and on the beach, so Elliott is invited (the couple in question, as well as their siblings, have really little ones too, so it was not a surprise).  However, the idea of driving 9 hours to the shore was something we really had to think about, but in the end we decided to do it.  

    If your mom can watch the baby, make a night of it.  Babies are meant to enhance our lives, not put them on hold.  Everything will be fine.  It will be a good chance to get out for the evening and see how the baby does with its grandma.  :) 

  • I would say go and take the baby! At one month old, he/she will probably do great.

     

    I do have to say that one of my DH's relatives brought an older baby to our wedding and it cried during our vows- like continued crying very loudly throughout, and they just kept sitting there- and I wished they would have taken him out during that time, since, y'know, we were saying our wedding vows ;) But you will probably not have that problem at all!

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  • That sounds like an  . . . interesting . . . wedding.  Curiousity would be killing me and I'd really want to go.  :)
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  • Thanks everyone! I ran the whole thing past my mom and about halfway through she said "I can babysit!! I can babysit!!" so I am thinking of asking the bride (or her mom - who is more likely to be really honest) what she thinks of my idea to leave LO at home for the ceremony and tote him along to the reception.
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