Maryrick I concede

Phantomgirl

You are so right.

I had one of those moments this weekend where the penny literally dropped and I thought holy shitz Maryrick is so friggin right!

I took Friday off work as I had tons of things to do.  I got home to my house at 3pm and didn't really want to have to go back into town at 5.30pm to collect SS.  

I called DH asked him what time he would be home, he told me about 6pm. I said great can you collect SS on the way.  SILENCE.  Then he proceeds to tell me I am putting him under pressure at work.  He will be stressed thinking he  HAS to leave by a certain time. bla bla bla.  I collected SS.

Sat morning I get up at 9am and DH and SS are chilling on the sofa watching TV.  We had a wedding to attend at 2pm and I had a 10am appointment to get my hair / nails done.  I ask DH if he will take SS to get his hair cut and shoes for the wedding.  SILENCE.  Then he proceeds to list all the things he had to do bla bla bla.  I take SS with me to get shoes and haircut.  

I honestly do not believe for a second that DH will be any different when we have kids.  In fact he will probably be worse as they will actually be my kids. 

On the other hand I think he realized he was being an azz because Sat night we left he wedding early and took DH three nieces and nephews home with us (aged 1, 3 & 4).  DH got up at 7.30am Sun and I fell back asleep until 10am!  I NEVER sleep that late.  When I got up he had fed them and dressed them all.

He is a hard man to judge.  

 

 

FutureMrsWittig

Just when you're ready to kill them, they do something nice...

Sounds to me like you're not only a wonderful SM, but a wonderful wife.

xmaryrickx

Oh my. Now, this is really the crux of the matter for me! In the other post I focused on the SK's but this right here, the dirty work is what makes it or breaks it for adults. And you are so right to think when they are your kids it will probably be worse. No one can predict the future but when someone shows you who they are it's important to pay attention. It's easy to be the fun uncle or a Disney dad, it's not easy to be a great parent. I have a friend or two in non-bf situations who always said their h's would be great dads bc they are so awesome with their nieces/nephews. Then they had kids and not so much. They are left to do all the dirty work bc dad is the "fun" one. It's exhausting and frustrating for them and it's straining their marriages. This is why I think that it's a benefit of a BF to see how the other person parents before having more kids. If they consistently refuse to step up and fullfill the duties of parent (the errands, discipline, day to day mundaneness like hygeine/bathing/feeding etc) they are not going to suddenly change when you pop a kid out bc it's yours together not just theirs.