July 2011 Moms

Having my MIL here with a newborn!! *VENT*

I honestly didn't think it would be that bad. When MIL comes to visit any other time we get a long and have fun. This time I am counting down the days and am ready to pull out my hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Between my hormones trying to get back to normal, my lack of sleep with LO (most of that is my fault because I can't stop staring at him, lol) I cannot wait until she goes. All I want is some alone time with my new family and she has to go every where with us!!!! I'm also wedged in the back seat between 2 car seats, crawling over my DS #1 to get there and then I have to sit on my side in the car while she gets the front seat because she's unable to crawl into the back. There really isn't anything for her to do here because transitioning from 1 child to 2 has been a lot easier than I thought, so she walks around looking for stupid little projects to do. She doesn't understand anything DS #1 says even when it's clear as day, and then DS gets frustrated at her. She's also walking around wearing this stinky perfume or body lotion- whatever it is it stinks. She lets DS #1 get away with anything and then the other day she started crying when he was crying- I was like "are you f-ing kidding me right now?" 

I know I am sounding like the biggest *** right now, but I had to vent to someone and I can't be this harsh venting to DH about his mom. She's here for another 10 days and I think I might break down in the middle of it!!!  

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Re: Having my MIL here with a newborn!! *VENT*

  • ksulliksulli member
    Oh no, that sounds awful! You really shouldn't be having to climb/squish into the back seat right after giving birth. Can you talk to DH about how you guys are doing pretty well with the adjustment and maybe mil could pack it up early? Like, Tuesday...
    *Married 10.10.08*
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    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
  • Sounds like you're babysitting your MIL. More power to you. I couldn't do it. My MIL drives me nuts. She one of those that's in your face all the time and she smothers you. I told DH that nobody is allowed to come over for at least the first 2 days! So that we can have our time with our New Family... I hope you dont have too much longer with her. Hang in there!
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  • Thanks for the support ladies! I feel like I'm being such a ***- ugh, I could cry writing this right now because I'm so frustrated. 

    I've tried talking to DH and since he never sees his mom (she's a 5 hour flight away) he really wants his mom here- especially since my family gets to be a part of everything (they're a 10 minute drive away- but they don't smother us). I understand where he is coming from. But right now I just want to be left alone and with my family. I want to enjoy this time and not have to worry about entertaining.

    There are so many more irritating things she does but I didn't want to seem like a total b*tch by writing them all out.  

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  • ksulliksulli member
    That's tough when she lives so far away. DH & I just moved from being 45min from my family & 5 hrs from his to switch it and it's already helping my enjoy my ILs because we see them for a few hours at a time rather than being in the same house with them for days on end. Now he'll need to learn to spend days on end with mine (insert evil laugh). What if you ask her to help with specific things so she isn't just wandering? Like have her change DS's sheets and do some laundry, or make a menu for the week and build a grocery list...
    *Married 10.10.08*
     image
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
  • TEN more days???!!!! You are a saint!  I get along well with my MIL, but any extra adult in my home for that long would drive me INSANE.  Hang in there, sounds like you dont' really have any way out but to hurry up and wait!  Sorry!

     

  • I don't think you should have to squish in the back or climb over anything.  You just gave birth!
    image


    DD born 07/2011 DD due 11/18/2013
  • This is why my MIL will be here a max of 3 nights. Like hell I'd crawl in the back. They could drive themselves if me still recovering sitting in the front would be an issue for them. You have my sympathies.
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    DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007

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  • Yeah my in laws are coming, too. But, thankfully my FIL is awesome and he instructed us to call them after we get settled, so I can wait a couple of weeks. Plus, they'll be getting a hotel and have their own vehicle. I can handle that.

    I get that she can't crawl across the back seat but I think it's terribly insensitive of the other two adults to expect you to do this. 

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  • Number one complaint from your post would be the stinky perfume.  I cannot stand it when someone's wears too strong of a scent.  Ugh- I feel your pain!!!
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  • imageMeg&Pete:
    Number one complaint from your post would be the stinky perfume.  I cannot stand it when someone's wears too strong of a scent.  Ugh- I feel your pain!!!

    I agree! Strong scents trigger migraines for me. Even if it doesn't for OP I'd pull the whole baby's sense of smell is very sensitive and ask her not to wear it in my house... 

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  • I used to think having visitors (like my mom or MIL) after having a baby at home wouldn't be bad.  I've changed my tune.  I think even the greatest MIL or mom would be hard to have when you are hardly sleeping and need to get used to life at home. 

    Hopefully she won't be there for long.  GL!   

    Born at 31w3d due to severe IUGR & Placental Insufficiency--2lbs 3ounces
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  • I'm upset on your behalf! I can't imagine making someone who just gave birth climb into a backseat like that for any reason. I'm thinking if you guys need to go somewhere mil needs to stay home or you need to stay home (with the baby). You need to be able to relax and heal and that doesn't sound like it's happening.

     

  • Thank you ladies for being so supportive!!!!!! I am glad you're all on my side- I was afraid I was being crazy hormonal!! 

    I talked to DH about it, and he feels really bad for me right now but we can't send her home because she already changed her ticket to come out sooner since LO was 3 weeks early and it cost her quite A LOT. I'm just going to have to suck it up, but thank you for understanding!!! :) 

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  • I am already dreading my ILs coming out for a week and a half in August. Thankfully I told DH no visitors until at least 2 weeks after LO is born. All our family lives a plane ride away, so they have to stay with us:( I am so afraid my MIL is going to be a crazy baby hog and it's going to mess up any schedule I am able to get him on before they come. They are also coming out for 2 MONTHS in the winter. FIL doesn't work in the winter, and MIL doesn't work at all, and they usually come out for a few weeks in the winter, but this time they are staying longer to help with childcare so we can save some money, which I totally appreciate, but I am so afraid that DH and I will get NO alone time with just our little family. I feel like she is going to be tagging along everywhere we go. Ugh...I get frustrated just thinking about it. I feel your pain. Hang in there!!!
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  • Vent away! My mil was originally planning on staying with us for 2 weeks to help with the baby and sil finally put the kabosh on that. Mil is a wonderful, loving woman but her idea of helping would be to hold the baby while H or I cooked dinner for us/her, or cleaned the house, or ran errands. In my world that isn't exactly helping when I'll be hurting (assumably) and H will be exhausted. Luckily they only live an hour away so they're just going to get a hotel for a few days and come over for an hour at a time, then leave.

    My boss told me when his wife was feeling overwhelmed she just took the baby, a book, and disappeared into the bedroom for a 5 hour stretch. It's amazing how babies can nurse for 5 hours when mom is needing some alone time Wink

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