July 2011 Moms

How does SO/DH feel about your body?

I am 36 weeks pregnant and am so grossed out by the way I look. I have stretch marks everywhere, I am huge, uncomfortable and just 9 monthes pregnant lol. I haven't gained a ton of weight but not happy with the way I look. But my DH still wants to touch me constantly and it annoys me. He is always trying to rub me and touch me. If I hide to change from him, he ask why and tells me how sexy I look and it grosses me out. I am not complaining because I know some H don't wanna touch and are freaked out by the body and baby but its like constant and I feel bad cause I am so grossed out I dont wanna be touched at all.

 

Re: How does SO/DH feel about your body?

  • My DH thinks I look just as hot as I did before I got KU.... We'll see how he feels after baby is out and I have a belly with nothing in it. I felt a little gross and didn't want to be touched when I was just starting to show and just looked fat more than anything (and was still getting m/s and generally felt like crap), but now that I'm all belly I'm fine with how I look. DH has never had a problem..... I think we care way more than they do :)
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  • I am pretty sure my husband is not remotely attracted to me at all right now. I don't blame him one bit. I, like you OP, feel gross. I'm downright miserable and I can barely stand it when my little guy wants to snuggle :( It's sad, I know. I just feel awful.
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  • DH is more attracted to me now than ever before. At first I thought he was just saying things like "you are so beautiful" and "I love your belly" to make me feel better. But now I realize that he actually means it; he loves my body.

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  • imagentrick:
    DH is more attracted to me now than ever before. At first I thought he was just saying things like "you are so beautiful" and "I love your belly" to make me feel better. But now I realize that he actually means it; he loves my body.

    This^

    I'm also curious to see how that changes after the baby.

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  • imagentrick:
    DH is more attracted to me now than ever before. At first I thought he was just saying things like "you are so beautiful" and "I love your belly" to make me feel better. But now I realize that he actually means it; he loves my body.

    Ditto! He's constantly telling me that he thinks other women must be jealous of how cute I look, lol. And I won't lie, I love my pregnant body too.

    image image
    D: Born 7.14.11
    Baby #2: BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
    O: Born 3.2.14 (med-free!)
  • Ditto. On the one hand, I want to think he's lying to make me feel better when he tells me I look sexy, because it's so weird. But he wouldn't do that. And yeah, he still has his hands all over me. Though now that he is starting to see how uncomfortable I am, he has let up a bit. Part of it is probably just that MH isn't getting any (and hasn't for a while, poor guy).

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  • ksulliksulli member
    I was fine with my body until about 2w ago when I noticed my face filling out a bit. DH calls me 'cutie' all the time, but I think it's just a nickname and not that he likes the new shape. We haven't had sexy time other than new years (which I started) and he's shot me down several times. Not even snuggle/make out time. I know he's just kinda scared to hurt me or baby, but it sucks.
    *Married 10.10.08*
     image
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
  • My DH is a douche and says "at least you don't have any stretch marks" and I go "yet" and he goes "I hope you don't get any". And I roll my eyes at him..hahaha

    He probably doesn't hate my body, but I won't have sex with him so it's not he gets to touch it anyways.

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  • MCH77MCH77 member

    It is weird... I think that DH LOVES my pregnant body, b/c I have his baby boy in it.  He likes to rub my belly, hold it in the morning and comment on it.  But I do not think that he is sexually attracted to me right now (no trying to get me into bed, which is fine b/c I don't want sex right now). 

    We seem at a good place.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • I am exactly like you! I am not big on being touched. I feel bad but everytime he makes a "move" on me I say something like umm there is laundry to do. I just can not feel attractive right now. A lot of that has to do with being teased growing up for being bigger and I worked to get down to my pre preg size. Once I got pregnant I was excited and super scared. Ugh I hate self esteem
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  • abrazzabrazz member
    I didn't get any noticeable stretch marks with DD but I'm carrying much higher with this baby and I have a few that just showed up.  I'm mortified but DH says he doesn't care.  I actually believe him because I can tell when he's telling a fib.  I have known him too long for him to be able to get away with stuff.  He calls it jumping the bump and would do it more if I was willing.  I love him so much. 

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  • imageheatherlbuck:

    imagentrick:
    DH is more attracted to me now than ever before. At first I thought he was just saying things like "you are so beautiful" and "I love your belly" to make me feel better. But now I realize that he actually means it; he loves my body.

    This^

    I'm also curious to see how that changes after the baby.

     

    DH is very fond of the new body, even at 36 weeks. I tell him: love me now because I'm about to deflate - usually followed by the sound of a deflating balloon.

  • In a compassionate understanding tone, were you really self conscious before becoming pregnant?   My back is always so sore I encourage DH to rub on me.  Also I agree with some of the other moms, some men are so amazed at our bodies because we are making something they helped create.  It's a true wonder, which will more than likely change once we push it/pull it out.    My MIL was pregnant with twins 33 years ago, going full term, both boys 8lbs each.  She gained about 100 lbs and got alot of stretch marks but she wears a tankini to this day.  Her husband loves her just the same!   I also try to think of the biology of men vs women when Im not in the mood to be intimate, where women feel loved by the little things like taking out the trash or flowers or words, men are more physical.  So I try to remember him especially when we are getting so close to the finish line when  most of my attention will be devoted to the baby.  I cant tell you how to feel but only wish you the best and maybe try dimming the lights or divert the attention to just him or something. 
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  • He is very sweet and supportive : )

    I have crazy stretch marks, very angry and red.  I have asked if we could pretend I wrestled a tiger : p  But in all seriouness, we are prepared to adjust to changes and work with them in terms of the physical stuff.  I love physical affection, we both work our shoulders stiff every day (I scoop ice cream and he lifts boxes at a warehouse) so releasing that tension through massage is very good.  I am surprised to feel fairly peppy at 34 weeks.

  • DH still loves my body. He's always telling me how good I look, and if he walks into the room when I'm changing or something and sees my belly he can't help saying AWWWW!!!  He loves the bump and thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. We haven't had sex in a while (I'm pretty sure Mother's Day was the last time...), and he's extremely patient, but last night he couldn't keep his hands off me in his sleep!! This morning I told him my skin must be like cat nip for him! lol  So I'm thinkin we'll probably give it a try at least once again before the baby's born. It's just so difficult when I'm enormous, can't lay on my back, and my vag seems to have returned to its virginal - painful - state!!

    Jess & Adam, married 2009, precious Audrey born in 2011. BFP 1/6/13, 6-wk MMC discovered at 9 wks 2/11/13. D&C 2/18/13, second D&C 4/23/13 for retained placenta.
    BFP 8/24/13!! EDD 5/1/14, delivered healthy and sweet Zoey Leanne on 5/5/14 by repeat c-section.
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  • It's not his favorite look on me. He's not rude or mean about it - he'll tell me I look pretty when I get ready for work or to go out, but he's admitted that pregnancy is kind of a necessary thing you have to go through for the awesome experience of having a baby. It kind of hurt hearing that, since I know some women's husbands are all about it, but you can't force someone to feel a certain way I guess.

    I was in pretty great shape before I got pregnant, so it's been a huge adjustment. We joke about me "getting my body back," and the truth is, I'm just as excited to as I'm sure he is. I don't have any stretch marks (knock on wood), but I did get a huge booty and my face is a lot rounder. I was put on pelvic rest about 10 weeks ago and so we haven't had sex. at this point, I'm not sure that I even want to, and I sure as hell don't want to feel shot down if I initiated, given my crazy hormonal swings. :) 

  • DH has a new found respect for me being pregnant!  He's astounded and amazed at what we have to do to create this little life inside our bodies.  He loves my bump, and when I complain about my body he always brings me back to a good place. 

    It's hard to feel attractive with a basketball belly so I know what you mean, but it's definitely nice to hear how much he loves it even when I'm down on myself.  I think we as women are WAY harder on ourselves than we need to be, but it's not easy that's for sure!  I'm used to this bump, I'm more nervous about how it will look post postpartum.

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  • jdm7jdm7 member

    My husband constantly tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful. He isn't saying it to make me feel better about myself either. But I also, most of the time at least, think that I look beautiful too. We're both amazed at what my body is going through to bring a kid into this world. 

     

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