AW - A year ago today

CaptainSerious

Ladies, I have to warn you that I'm incredibly mushy right now, as we relive the one-year anniversary of our adoption trip.  I'm likely to post a few more really gushy posts like this one over the next month or so.  It's incredibly wild, because now that we are hoping to adopt J, too, I'm remembering everything that happened to make both these boys capture our hearts.

A year ago, today, we traveled to the orphanage in which M was raised (not the same one he was living in when we met him), and were granted the opportunity to talk with his caregivers and learn all about him and his life there, a week before we were allowed to meet M in person.  It was an amazing day--one that I can't describe as well today as I could then, so I'd like to share the blog post I wrote the morning after.

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Yesterday was Half Christmas Eve, June 24th. We always try to mark Half Christmas with some sort of special festivity, just to have another reason to celebrate life and the joy of Christmas. But yesterday, we were granted the best Half Christmas Eve ever, and it came in a way that truly felt heaven-sent.

The day started at a very early 3:30 a.m., with preparations for our 6 a.m. flight to Arequipa. After the hour-long flight, we made our way to M? old orphanage.

When we first arrived, we were met at the gate by a woman who seemed confused by our presence. We had a moment of worry that they had forgotten we were coming, or worse yet, that they had assumed we weren?t coming because someone, somewhere along the line forgot to confirm our visit. But all of a sudden, after our lawyer announced our intentions, recognition flashed across her face as the word ?M? rolled off her tongue, and she nodded and smiled as she ushered us in.

What happened next was the first time we realized how much M was loved in this home of his. Through our lawyer, this woman told us that she was so happy to see us, because after M? failed previous adoption, she was so worried that it would be difficult for him to find a home. She was clearly choked up and overcome with emotion, and it was clear how much she cared for him. She then excused herself, so she could walk the young children to the elementary school. After she left, our lawyer told us that she was the orphanage social worker.

Children were milling around, gathering for the walk to school or for their other morning activities, but the little ones were all very curious about us. It made us uncomfortable, because we felt that they must have known we were there about a child, and been wondering who it was going to be, and maybe even been hoping it was themselves. Yet at the same time, we were heartened by how happy, secure, and well taken care of they seemed, and how much the staff seemed to enjoy working with them. We would have liked to take them all home, if it were possible.

A few minutes later, we met the orphanage?s director. While we were waiting, our lawyer told us that the orphanage was one of the few run by the government, so we weren?t sure what to expect from the director. Mostly, we expected him to be an administrator, who might be able to tell us about the schedules and policies of the orphanage, but not any specific details about our son.

Boy were we wrong. The director, and his wife, who seemed to act as his right-hand, met with us for over two hours. The director answered as many of our questions as he could, and his wife sat beside him, flipping through M? file for some answers he didn?t know off the top of his head. They were so forthcoming, it really put us at ease, and made us see that they just wanted the best for M, including his integration into a family. What really caught us off-guard was when he begun to tell us detailed stories about M. He got all animated, and you could see how much he adored M.

During our conversation, we learned so very much. Although everything in the file we have on M is true, we found out that it was missing much information, and as a result, painted a somewhat distorted picture of M? life. We learned that, in fact, M had first entered a nearby orphanage as a baby, and although there were periods when he was with his mother, he lived most of his life in those two orphanages. Perhaps more importantly, we learned about M? character, how well-behaved he always was, that he loves cars, that he is very competitive and loves getting recognition for things he does well, that he shows off through performing acrobatics and gymnastics, and that his favorite free time activity is?soccer!

At some point, the social worker returned and joined our conversation. She pitched in with answers, and offered us a ton of advice. All of it obviously came from a place of love. As our conversation progressed, she told us that she had a wonderful feeling about us and that she was certain that we were the right parents for M. It was clear she felt bad for the failed adoption, and wished she could have erased that pain from ever happening to him. It was at that moment it was clear that this woman was an angel from God, who had been looking after our son all these years, and who was personally stung by the hurt he endured.

When the language barrier came up, the director said, ?It would be better if you spoke some Spanish. But you don?t. But you do speak another language, and that language is more powerful than any other, and M understands it. You will speak to him through the language of love. It is clear you know that language.?

Before we left, we received the best Half Christmas gift ever. They had some school papers that M had done, and let us have them. Among them was a Christmas card, made out to his parents.

When we were done, we visited a nearby church where they told us M was baptized. We sat inside and prayed. When we started this adoption, we did so because we each felt compelled to. When we found M, we knew he was our son, even though he was not the relatively healthy toddler we were expecting. When we had our fears or doubts, they were always calmed by prayer and the inexplicable knowledge that he is our son. But yesterday, it became clear, in a way that we could never explain to anyone who hasn?t experienced it, that God orchestrated all the parts and moved all the pieces, and delayed all the paperwork, and prepared our hearts, because he choose us and M to be a family. He did this, and while we were waiting to be brought together, He gave M the most amazing angels to look after and take loving care of him.

This blog is named ?[name of blog]? because we?ve been searching for our child(ren), whomever he/she/they might be. God has known all along that it is M. He chose yesterday to reveal it to us. Now we just hope we can live up to this honor and be the parents He wants us to be.

 

MrsKolasa

That made me all weepy.

Such an awesome story!

CaptainSerious

To anyone who is currently struggling, wondering if it's all worth it, thinking of giving up hope or throwing in the towel, I'd like to offer all the support in the world.  It took us two and a half years to bring M home, and we were thrown some of the most unbelievable hurdles along the way.  I was reduced to tears and despair often during the horrible process, but I'm here on the other side, after an adjustment-filled year home with M, to tell you that riding out every storm this process throws at you is worth it, because the love and life that awaits you is amazing.

Hang in there!  And, if you ever want to talk, vent, or hear about our story, I'll be here for you.

ruthie7532

What a great story! Thanks for sharing.  I was around some during your long waiting process, and then I disappeared for a while.  When I came back, I found out that M was home, and I was so excited for you! Congratulations!

msditz00

That was really touching.  I'm glad you were able to get to learn so much history about M.

If I am remembering correctly, your original paperwork was for a child a bit younger than M, right?  And you had to redo parts of it to be approved to adopt him?

If that was not you, sorry! 

If it is you, I am only asking because we are at the point where we are considering what age(s) we want to adopt.  Any insight into what made you change your mind would be appreciated.  It helps to hear other people's stories.

Amy720

What a wonderful story.  Thanks for sharing.

inlovewithB

Thanks for sharing. Your blog entry made me cry. I am so happy you all found each other!