Tacky shower help

Tara415

Long story short, is there any polite/ less offensive way to indicate that the baby shower plans are not what you would like, if asked? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but... it's pretty bad. I believe that what's been planned will make the other guests VERY uncomfortable. I just want a calm, drama-free shower.

LaTi07

What is it that is tacky?

If it's something like they are using paper plates and red solo cups and you wanted fine china, then no there is no polite way to tell them you don't like it.

If it's something like they are going to have guests passing pacifiers via mouth to mouth, then you need to say something.

So....what is it that is tacky? I'm dying to know at this point.

CBC08

LaTi07:

What is it that is tacky?

If it's something like they are using paper plates and red solo cups and you wanted fine china, then no there is no polite way to tell them you don't like it.

If it's something like they are going to have guests passing pacifiers via mouth to mouth, then you need to say something.

So....what is it that is tacky? I'm dying to know at this point.

Yes, more details please!

Kvitale87

MrsMichelleB:

:still waiting for the good part:

Yes please share!

MamaHerman

...Waiting!

Liz4444

Do share...

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto others.  No one can really help you without more info.

If no one has spent money yet on prepping for the shower and it's just in the planning stages, you could just say you've changed your mind about the shower and would like to decline.

laabeja

Not sure what her tacky issue is, but my MIL really wants to do a potluck. I just think it's tacky. What do you ladies think?

Yellow_Daisy

laabeja:

Not sure what her tacky issue is, but my MIL really wants to do a potluck. I just think it's tacky. What do you ladies think?

Like where the guests bring the food?  Yeah that's tacky.  You don't invite people to a gift giving event and then ask them to provide the food too.  The only possible exception I see is a church shower where potluck is the norm.  While I've never been to one of these I have heard of them on many occasions, but usually the potluck is something that is done every weekend and the shower is just being included in the regular potluck.

RoxyLynn

There are a few things that rocket up to a whole different stratosphere of tacky.  They are:  asking guests to pay for or bring their food/drink; asking guests to fill out their own thank-you note, asking guests to bring a specific gift (e.g. "Please get item #17, the Ubba-Lubba Baby Tubba, from the registry.") or a pile of specific gifts ("Please bring a book, a pacifier, a gift for the Mommy-to-be, and a frozen dinner for after the baby is born.").

If it's any of these, talk to the hostess and maybe enlist the help of your Mom, sister, best friend, DH, whomever.  Gently explain that you love the cake, it's really going to be fun, you're so grateful for all the planning, but ___________ (fill in.  We can help you if you know what it is.).

If it's pretty much anything else, like a lousy menu or having great-aunt Louise sing her half-hour medley of lullabies, you're pretty much stuck.

rhubarb123

I agree with Roxy for the most part.  Obviously, the guests paying for their own food is higher on the list then filling out their name and address on the thank you envelope or even bringing a book instead of a card - kwim?  I agree with her as to the only way you can really say anything to persuade the hostess to do things a bit differently.  If it is simple like the address thing...just let her know you don't mind filling them out yourself.  As to that and the book instead of a card or even a (gasp!) diaper raffle...many guests have probably been to showers that have done this.  Hopefully most guests will realize that these are not YOUR ideas.  If it is a game that involves measuring your waist or sniffing melting candy bars in a diaper I would ask for different games and tell her why (if that is what is bothering you).  Not knowing what is offensive to you - therefore offensive to your guests - it is hard to really give you much advice.

Rach21

Inappropriately tacky: hiring a stripper dressed up like a baby to "exit the womb" and get a "spanking" from the "doc."

Tacky but you'll have to suck it up: Ritz crackers with spray cheese.

Without details, that's the best advice I can give. 

cherokeemomma87

Why do I get the feeling that the "tackyness" is being kept a secret for a reason? Maybe its something that she knows will get flamed so she doesnt want to tell us, and she really only posted for AW.

marriedfilingjointly

cherokeemomma87:

Why do I get the feeling that the "tackyness" is being kept a secret for a reason? Maybe its something that she knows will get flamed so she doesnt want to tell us, and she really only posted for AW.

That doesn't make any sense.  Why would we flame her for something she didn't do?  And it's hardly AW if we don't even know what it is.

If it is the thing where the guests fill out their address on the envelope for the thank you cards, I hereby dub myself baby shower queen and bestow upon you all rights to politely put your foot down ("that's super thoughtful of you guys, but please don't do it.  I can absolutely address my own thank you notes. It's the least I can do after this wonderful shower you are throwing me!").   If it's pot luck or they are charging a cover at the door, well, stage your own kidnapping.  I know of no tactful way to tell them how rude that is. 

missanna811

Rach21:

Inappropriately tacky: hiring a stripper dressed up like a baby to "exit the womb" and get a "spanking" from the "doc."

Tacky but you'll have to suck it up: Ritz crackers with spray cheese.

Without details, that's the best advice I can give. 

 

I LOL'd at work. Thanks, I needed that!!!