Age spacing of children

akabride30

In a perfect world, if we weren't dealing with 2IF issues when had you hoped to get pregnant with your 2nd LO?

Also has this infertility changed how many LO's you want now from how many you wanted when you originally thought about starting a family?

For me, I ideally wanted to get pregnant with baby #2 when Ava turned 1.  Now she's about to turn 2 so things are really off track.  This has caused me to change my desire from having 3 LO's to now just being happy if I can have one more. 

 

 

 

yale

If things would have worked out like we wanted I would be posting on the 2 under 2 board right now. Right now, we've decided we don't want a gap larger than 3 years. So that means we'll be calling it quits by the end of this year if I don't get pregnant. DH and I have decided we're ok with an only. We'll be disappointed if #2 doesn't happen, but feel blessed to have experienced the whole process once successfully and have our DS to show for it.

lillinzlou

DH wanted to get pregnant right away. I wanted to wait until DD's 1st birthday. We started TTC #2 when she was 10 months old. I really wanted them within 2 years of each other. She's now 19 months old and now that the 2 year spacing is no longer possible, I will just be happy with having one more at any time. My sister and I are 8 years apart and couldn't be any closer now. I would like DD to have a playmate growing up, but I have just given in to the fact that I don't really have control and whatever happens will happen. I've always wanted a big family, but I don't think that I could ever go through this again. We will just be having two, if we're lucky.

lillinzlou

Yale- Just looked at your siggy. We are on the same schedule. I am 5 DPO. What did you do this month? When are you testing? Hopefully we can be a part of the Jun Club too!

yale

lillinzlou:

Yale- Just looked at your siggy. We are on the same schedule. I am 5 DPO. What did you do this month? When are you testing? Hopefully we can be a part of the Jun Club too!

This is my second post-m/c cycle, so I was expecting a whacked out cycle like last time - it's looking surprisingly better though. I missed my surge, but think FF is close. I had an almost +opk (which usually happens for me the day before a +opk) and then saw my doctor the day after that when she told me to wait this cycle out, so I didn't actually POAS the day FF says I O'd.  I was doing all my normal stuff - temps, opks, etc. I also started baby aspirin at the recommendation of my doctor. I'm not expecting much since I don't feel like we were really really trying when I O'd. We'll see though. Timing seems decent if FF is right. I won't test until next Friday probably. How about you?

lillinzlou

After two failed rounds of Clomid, we took this month to do some testing. I got an HSG, as well as a multitude of blood test. I saw your AMH post and responded late. We also used instead cups, just for the hell of it. We DTD after a wedding we attended and it was the least sexy thing I have ever experienced. If we produce a child from it, it will be a hilarious story that we will have to share with him/her when they grow up. I will be on vacation all next week, but will be POAS next Thursday. 12 DPO. Fingers crossed for both of us. We conceived DD on an off month, so maybe that's the best.

JMay

The first thing I said to DH after DD was born was "Whoa - I can't wait to do that again!"  Now, that might have been the drugs talking, but I would have started pretty soon after. 

However, I am a believer in long-term BFing, so DD BF'ed until she was 2 1/2 .  We officially started "trying" just before her 3rd birthday.  I would have been ok with that spacing had it worked. 

Now, even if I get KU this cycle, I'm looking at a 6+ year age gap.  That bothers me because of the playmate thing, but lovely ladies here keep giving me wonderful examples of how close they are with large-age gap sibs.  Since my reasons for having children are focused on long-term benefits, I need to remember that "close as adults" is much more important than "playmates as youth". 

Ideally, DH and I wanted 4 kids, but like all of you, at this point I'd thank my lucky stars for a 2nd. 

RMR13

We had wanted our kids 2-2 1/2 years apart but my DD is now 3 1/2. Like everyone else we had planned for 3 or 4 but now will be happy if we are lucky enough to get 2, I think. My DH doesn't quite agree but I think it will depend on how much more we have to do to get number 2!

jennykg1477

Our plan was to start trying when DD turned 2 so that our kids would be about 3 years apart.  Now DD is 3 and 2 months.  Before all of this I really wanted to try to have 3 children, but now we will definitely be stopping with 2 (if we get #2).  I refuse to do this again, plus I wanted to have all my kids before age 35.  I am now 33 so that doesn't give me enough time for a #3.

JMay

jennykg1477:

Our plan was to start trying when DD turned 2 so that our kids would be about 3 years apart.  Now DD is 3 and 2 months.  Before all of this I really wanted to try to have 3 children, but now we will definitely be stopping with 2 (if we get #2).  I refuse to do this again, plus I wanted to have all my kids before age 35.  I am now 33 so that doesn't give me enough time for a #3.

 

Glad to know I'm not the only one with the 35 goal... of course, I turned 35 this month and I'm not stopping... though I would have, had I gotten lucky!  I hope you get your dream fulfilled before your 35th bday...

JMay

jennykg1477:

Our plan was to start trying when DD turned 2 so that our kids would be about 3 years apart.  Now DD is 3 and 2 months.  Before all of this I really wanted to try to have 3 children, but now we will definitely be stopping with 2 (if we get #2).  I refuse to do this again, plus I wanted to have all my kids before age 35.  I am now 33 so that doesn't give me enough time for a #3.

 

Glad to know I'm not the only one with the 35 goal... of course, I turned 35 this month and I'm not stopping... though I would have, had I gotten lucky!

choirgirl

Ok, ladies, enough with the 35 goal

I didn't get married until I was 36, had DS at 38, and am now 41 trying my hardest.  I totally get why you guys would like to be done by then, but if you ever need any inspiration that 35 isn't that far over the hill, checking out the thriving TTC/PG/Parenting over 35 boards here.  Or come to my house! I won't cook you dinner, but DH will 

Back to the OP.  My goal was 2-3 years.  If this month works he'll be 3 years, 3 months, so not the end of the world for me.  The end of the world is that if this month doesn't take, we've decided we've only got maybe 2 more months of trying in us.

jennykg1477

JMay:

jennykg1477:

Our plan was to start trying when DD turned 2 so that our kids would be about 3 years apart.  Now DD is 3 and 2 months.  Before all of this I really wanted to try to have 3 children, but now we will definitely be stopping with 2 (if we get #2).  I refuse to do this again, plus I wanted to have all my kids before age 35.  I am now 33 so that doesn't give me enough time for a #3.

 

Glad to know I'm not the only one with the 35 goal... of course, I turned 35 this month and I'm not stopping... though I would have, had I gotten lucky!

Thanks, Jenna!  I am thinking 6 more months of trying and then looking at adoption.  I am hoping that even if we have to go all the way through the adoption process, it will still be done at least within the year of 35.

Jen, thanks for the reminder that 35 is not the end all, be all year.  I guess I will have to see how things have turned out when I get there and maybe I will feel differently then.  It is always easy to say things about the future, but until you are there you really don't know what you will decide to do.  At least, that is my experience.  Oh, and what kind of delicious food does your DH serve for dinner??

smacb

We wanted 4 kids all two years apart.  DS will be 3 August 4.  

Stacy092306

We wanted our kids close together in age.  We started ttc #2, without the assistance of our RE, when DD was 5 months.  When DD turned 1, we went back to the RE for IVF, which failed miserably.  I have always wanted two kids close in age.  Not sure when, if ever, we will be blessed with #2.  Just hoping it happens sometime.  (I am 36, so I hope I at least have a few good years of ttc left.  We will see.) 

Melis-n-Mike

Well in a perfect world I wanted 2U2, but with all the trouble we had getting pregnant with DD, I knew it wasn't going to happen.  We started going back to the RE when DD was 6 months old.  I am turning 36 in December and I am not quite ready to give up!!

electricdoctor83

With my first loss I should of had 2u2 and have a newborn right now

We started trying when Jack turned 1 and he will be 2 next month.  I wanted my kids 2 years apart. 

If I get pregnant with another child it will probably be our last, I can't take this another time.