Now I know why...

swanck

our agency doesn't tell you when you are being 'shown'.
They typically don't contact you until you have been positively identified. 

But 2 weeks ago my caseworker contacted me to ask us if we were open to a particular situation that she needed clarification on.  So she had to tell me we were being shown the next week.  Then she was supposed to call by 2 Friday's ago to tell us either way. 

And there was no call.

 

Since this is our first time being shown - I assume in adoption world, no news is no match.

And I'm not calling to talk about it.  I figure if it was us then we'd have gotten a call.  And calling my caseworker to hash it over would just be painful for all of us.  So I'm trying to move on.

But man, being put out there - knowing you're profile is being shown to a birth family and NOT getting picked is torture.  It doesn't help that all this unfolded about the time two years ago when our 2nd pregnancy drama started.

 

Now I know why our agency keeps us out of the loop until we're picked.

This sucks.

Honeydew1894

Yeah, it does suck. I am sorry, and I hope you get your match very soon!

militarywife2b

((Hugs)) yes it sucks rocks.

dishy71

having been there myself, yeah it does..i'm sorry

((hugs))

Patches08

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry you're going through this. You and DH need to do something nice for yourselves this week. Thinking about you!

tunanuna

I'm not currently in your situation but I've thought about it a lot.  I would not want to know when I was being shown.  The disappointment and feeling of rejection, whether reasonable or not, would be too much for me.  I hope you come to peace with this and that your perfect match finds you soon.

butterfly843

Sending hugs, really hope you guys get a call soon.

MrsKolasa

We always knew when we were being shown and it was excruciating.

I actually didn't take the rejection personally, I know it's just a matter of fit, but I hated waiting for the call that never came.

Ugh. Hang in there. Hope you aren't waiting much longer.

jani7

((hugs)) hang in there!  We had the same thing happen and it is painful.  Hoping you get matched soon!!

lolo2011

It is horrible.  Just know it will happen and your perfect baby will come.  Knowing someone did not pick you really is the worst but as hard as it is you can not take it personally.  The family that was picked could have one small detail different.  Your time will come and we never know what the birthparents are looking for which is why we just have to be ourselves and trust the right baby will come.  Good luck and try and stay strong.

MamaB2009

It's only been 2 weeks -- maybe she took the books home and scheduled a meeting for next month and will make her decision then?  I know lots of birthparents our attorney worked with took this approach.  I can't imagine having to go into an agency, sit down, and pick someone right then and there.  I know there are some agencies who let BP's take books home and have time to think it over.

artletzler

Swanck, I know the feeling, it does suck!  Our agency doesn't let us know when we're being shown either, but I do check in once in a while to find out if there's at least some activity with our profile or to see if we need to make any adjustments.  It's so hard to hear that the profile is circulating, but we're just not being chosen. 

Keep your head up and stay positive.  We've seen a lot of great placements on this board lately - that certainly helps me realize that ONE DAY it'll be!  Good Luck to you.

mdm2137

((hugs)) I'm sorry hon.

so1966

i am sorry. it is a tough journey.  i hope you get matched very soon!