Considering legal marriage. — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Considering legal marriage.

We're planning trips to both Canada and the east coast this fall and it occurred to me that we should get married.  :D  We'll be staying with family in NJ and taking day trips into NYC for about a week.  We were just going to Canada for a weekend (just to get out of the country for a minute).  So if we decide to do it in the states, we'll just have to take a day trip to another nearby state.  What do you think:  Canada or Connecticut?

Re: Considering legal marriage.

  • Do you have a connection to either place? Do you have a particular vision of the ceremony--courthouse, outdoors, etc.--if so, does one location work better. To be totally pragmatic, it might be a good idea to look into the requirements to get the license as well as the residency requirements etc to get a divorce (not saying that would ever come up).

    I personally would choose Canada, but that is because we have a family place up there so I have been going there my whole life. By contrast, the only place I have really spent time in Connecticut is the Danbury Mall--so romantic ;) 


  • Neither of us have any connection to either place, which is why I don't really care which we do.  For some reason Canada seems a little more romantic, but I'm not sure why!  We'll want a courthouse ceremony.  Ontario seems pretty easy, but I haven't looked into non-resident marriages in the U.S.  (That's partly why I asked you all)!
  • If NY legalizes SSM on Monday you could always wed in NYC.

  • image Two*True:
    If NY legalizes SSM on Monday you could always wed in NYC.

    too true!  :)

  • Here is a GLAD document about marrying in Canada (from 2010 so reasonably current but you may need to verify some information).  Make sure you check and conform with the waiting period for whichever area of Canada you would be going to.

     And here is the one on Connecticut. 

     Hopefully NY will soon follow suit and some nice people over at GLAD will have to write one up for NY too. 

    As for which to choose I think it's pretty much purely between you and Katie!  It sounds like you might have family to go with you in CT, which might be nice.  If you have any interest in a name change CT will probably be much easier.  If you're only going to Canada for the weekend you'll want to make sure that the office you need to apply for the license at is actually open on a day you'll be in the country, as I know the ones in MA are only open on weekdays.  Plus of course the waiting period may be a problem, depending on where you go.

    Before you come to NJ/NYC you should let me know if you have any interest in getting together at some point!

    TTC with PCOS since July 2011.
    IVF Oct/Nov 2012
    Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
    Cautiously optimistic.
  • If you get married in Canada, one of you will have to move there for a year if you ever need to get divorced. I know that isn't a fun thing to contemplate when you're talking about getting married, but for practical purposes it's worth thinking about. If you do it in the US at least you will spare yourself having to think about visas, professional licenses, etc. if you ever need to move to establish residency and get a divorce. 

    (running away from post before I get pelted with rotten tomatoes :))


    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • First off, congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful trip and a lovely wedding celebration.

    Second, I'm glad leapgirl already said it, but I was thinking about the year residency requirement for divorce too.

    Let us know what you decide!

    Met 07/07/05, Wedding 07/07/07, Legal Marriage Ceremony 12/9/12, Baby Boy Born 08/09/13 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks, everyone!  I think we'll probably do it in the states, because I think we might be getting a divorce in another five or six years.  :P  Just kidding!  I think we'll stick with the U.S. though, in case someday IN decides to acknowledge it.  I don't know whats less likely- that or K and I breaking up!

    I'd love to arrange a get together with any/all Easties!

  • Oh, MommyMonster, I know how you feel.  I post about 30% of what I try to write here!  and I know what you're trying to get at :)
  • My wife and I were married in Toronto Canada and It was the most amazing day of our lives. Everything was so perfect, so I would vote Canada. But hopefully NY will be an option for you too! I am glad my marriage is recognized in my home state but am sick of not having full equality! Anyway CONGRATULATIONS it will be wonderful no matter where you choose!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DW and I were married in Windsor almost 5 years ago and it was wonderful and romantic! We went up the day after Thanksgiving (not a holiday there) and got our license. We were married Saturday evening at the cute little bed and breakfast. We have contemplated going back and staying in the same room for our anniversary this fall!


    We went through a company that basically specializes in helping SS couples from the US hop the border and marry. They help you find everything you would need for the cermeony and even meet you after you cross the border. They go with you to get your license and our "guide" also acted as the person marrying us. He was so wonderful and made the process extrmemely easy.

    imageLilypie Third Birthday tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards