Pregnancy after miscarriage

Jeanette1414

I have a question that I would love everyones opnion on. I had a miscarriage last July. I was 20 weeks and it was a girl. We had a name picked out for her and the room decor chosen. If I have a girl do you think I should choose the same name or different and should I use the same room decor or different? My family tells me to get a different name, but I'm not sure because I would like to remember my angel baby. Please let me know what you think.

Mackalack

What about using one of the names as a middle name? 

As for me, I don't think I could use the same name again.  

emmasue18

I would personally choose a different name. We lost our baby at 15 weeks, and although we chose not to find out the sex, the names we had picked out we left for that baby. Looking back, I am very glad we did. But, you're the one that has to live with whatever decision you make! I wouldn't listen to anyone else, go with your heart. Think hard though, will saying her name over and over again be something you could handle? Follow your heart and good luck!! Many thoughts and prayers to you over the next nine months! H&H!!

anardi

I would most certainly not use the same name. Bedding maybe but the name - no way!

Your Angel baby was your Angel baby you don't want to do that to this child. How do you explain to her how you picker her name one day. I don't know, I just could not do it.

EllasMommy2010

I think using the same decor is fine, but I wouldn't use the same name.  Maybe a middle name instead as the previous posters also suggested. 

mamaofboys

I am so sorry for your loss!! That is really hard. We had a MC between our boys and I was going to name her Madeline Ruth (Ruth after my mom). 

I, personally can't use the name again (although I might use Ruth) just because that was the name of the baby we lost. I, personally, feel that it would be sort of "replacing" her rather than honoring her so that may be what your family is feeling. You do what you feel is right for your circumstance maybe just communicate your reason is to remember by naming her sister after her (although, keep in mind that if you use the name, it will become connected to the new baby instead of the baby you lost--example: when I think of the name Liam I immediately ONLY think of my oldest son.)

I have used the same nursery stuff for my two boys so I feel it is the same for if you use it again. But if you feel it is too hard, it is completely understandable.

Jeanette1414

I never thought about it that way (Anardi) I think I need to find new names. Even if I have another baby she will always be in my heart. I have 2 boys who are 7 and 2. And my 7 year old always tells everyone that he has his brother here and a sister in heaven. I just want my Angel baby to know that I am always thinking of her and always in my heart.

Manderlin923

Jeanette1414:

I never thought about it that way (Anardi) I think I need to find new names. Even if I have another baby she will always be in my heart. I have 2 boys who are 7 and 2. And my 7 year old always tells everyone that he has his brother here and a sister in heaven. I just want my Angel baby to know that I am always thinking of her and always in my heart.

That is so sweet that your little boy says that.

I would personally not use the same name, even for a middle name. But what about planting a tree or plant in her honor? We planted a hydrangea bush for my first loss and I got a memorial necklace with a hydrangea petal charm, DS's birth stone, an inital bar with his first inital and a snowflake charm for my second loss. I wear it often, whenever I want to be close to all my babies.

Sorry for your loss

emmasue18

Jeanette1414:

I never thought about it that way (Anardi) I think I need to find new names. Even if I have another baby she will always be in my heart. I have 2 boys who are 7 and 2. And my 7 year old always tells everyone that he has his brother here and a sister in heaven. I just want my Angel baby to know that I am always thinking of her and always in my heart.

 

Your angel knows you love her and you will never forget her. Have you thought about doing something else to remember her by? Not that I believe you need to remember, you'll never forget. But maybe a tree, a garden? Sometimes that helps. Just a place where you can go and take your children and talk about her. Tell the new baby about her. She'll always be a part of you.

Jeanette1414

That sounds like a good idea. I could plant something and have the boys help. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and opinions.

MI-bride

I love the idea of using the first name as the middle name, but I don't know if I could do it.

I wouldn't change the room, however, I am sure that it is perfect.

mtngirl2007

Just a different perspective, here, but when I lost my first baby this spring, one of my friends shared with me that they had had a m/c prior to having their son. Her statement to me was something like "even though I had the m/c,  I know that DS has been with me the whole time."

I am actually of the camp that believes that maybe my angel baby is the same spirit as my current baby and he/she just needed to get stronger to come back again. Sounds like everyone else has the opposite opinion, but just wanted to share. Also, we found out about my m/c at almost 11 weeks, but baby had stopped growing at 6w5d. I might feel differently if I was as far along as you were.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

Jeanette1414

It's funny that you say that because a close friend of my family told me the same thing. I do not doubt the possiblity. God has a plan for evryone and maybe she did need to get stronger. Thank you for your thoughts. And congrats to you too!