How did you handle going home?

eyelovemascara

Hi ladies,

I've been thinking a lot lately about how worried I am going to be when my girls get to come home. They have both had apnea at times, and I don't think they will get to come home for another two weeks or so, but I'm still worrying myself sick just thinking about how they will be sleeping in a crib or pack n play without any monitors to alarm me. I know the doctor won't release them until they are healthy and not having any more spells, but I still don't see myself getting any rest when I think about how they could stop breathing and I wouldn't know it. My husband and I can't afford 2 Angelcare monitors, so thats out of the question. Did any of you have this anxiety when your LO first came home? I just don't know what to do...

jjilly7

yes, i felt the same way. Noah's main problem was apnea/bradys, i was so scared to bring him home w/ no monitors. The day of discharge i cried when the nurse turned off the monitor...it was reality, like, he is ours now. i stayed at the nicu a full 48 hours before discharge to prove that he ate fine w/ me, and never had a spell (his original discharge date was moved cause of a bad brady, during a feed w/ a nurse). He did great for me those 48 hours, but he was still hooked up to the monitor...so i felt safe. The nurses ended up turning the volume off the monitors and turned them away from me, so i couldn't watch them. It really did help. I was relied on them so much. I would watch the monitors during his feeds, and not him, them weaning me, gave me more confidence.

I stared at him the whole time during our 45 min car ride home, making sure he was breathing. At night, i slept on the couch w/ him. After two weeks, I moved him upstairs w/ us in his bassinet.  He is a loud sleeper, so that helped me out a lot. We have the angelcare monitor, but didn't actually use it until he was in his crib, at around 3 months...and by that time, I was MUCH better. 

 

It is completely normal to be nervous, and have anxiety. For weeks/months our babies are being watched and monitored 24/7 and then one day, their leeds come off, the monitor is shut off, and they are passed to us...it is VERY emotional...it is exciting...scary...wonderful...nerve-wracking...and well, every other emotion. Once noah was home, he never had a spell. We were very grateful and blessed w/ that. I have a friend who had a 31 weeker, and she did have some spells at home-only during feeds, but my friend felt that her days in the nicu prepped her for them, and she felt confident and nervous at the same time.

 

sorry so long.

Good luck, and you'll do great  

njdcgirl

jjilly gave you some great advice, and one thing that helped me was repeating what you already said - they aren't going to send LO home if they are not ready.  My son was on o2 for almost 4 months, and only came off oxygen 2 weeks before coming home.  He came home with no monitors.  But, during those last weeks his desats and bradys stopped and I began trusting in watching the baby and knowing he was ok.  Like jjilly, my son slept next to me in a cosleeper for the first few months home, and that really helped with my nerves.

Good luck - and know what you are feeling is completely normal!

 

korpisar

Is there any way the hospital will send you home with monitors? My hospital sent me home with a monitor and I am so happy to have it.

kck329

We felt the same way you do. We even had them run a bunch of extra tests to make sure she wasn't having breathing issues at the risk of keeping her in the NICU longer. I really tried to get a monitor to go home with but in the end our NICU believes that if you need a monitor, you need to be in the hospital so they pretty much only send monitors home with babies who are also going home on oxygen.

The best thing we did is what a PP suggested--move the monitors so you can't see them anymore. Learn to watch the baby instead of the numbers so you know how to react if something happens. Then you will learn to trust your reactions. Also, it is true that they won't send you home if your baby isn't ready. You've trusted the doctors this long, try to trust them on that too.

The first few nights my DH and I hardly slept because we were constantly checking on C. I still wake up to check and make sure she is breathing sometimes (we've been home a month). It does get easier but it is super scary! Good luck!