Anyone still looking to adopt or just want a buddy?

AndieM

 I keep missing all the adoption blitzes, but here goes:

 

First time/ Second/ Third, Etc.: First

 

Previous losses: None, thankfully

 

IF issues: DH has low motility and count, likely due to a varicocele. 

 

Amount of time TTC: Since January/February 2009

 

Natural birth, or pain relief? Would love to try to deliver naturally, but once I feel the pain I'll make the call!

 

Home birth/ hospital birth preferred? Hospital, but maybe with a midwife (it's covered under our provincial health insurance in Ontario, so why not).

 

Anything else you feel would help match us all up well:)

I'm 30, DH will soon be, and he and I have been together for 11 years this year and married for 5 in August.  Neither he or I really know anything about babies, so this should be interesting!  We?re both still in disbelief and shock, and are cautiously thrilled and thinking sticky thoughts.   Going to try and be as green and healthy as possible during the pregnancy and beyond.

I'm a runner, and I?m trying to overcome my fear of running while pregnant. 

Will take my full year off and head back to work after that.

 

Is anyone still looking for (another) adoptee or a buddy?

 

tickled_pickle

I don't know what this adoption thing is about, nor am I in any place to adopt anyone since I'm new here. But I just wanted to say that I'm in Ontario, too. Pregnant with my second, and DH and I have also been together for 11 years (married for 3). And I had a hospital midwife birth with my first - and if you don't mind my suggesting it: go with the midwives!!! The care you will receive will be a hundred times better, I swear. I can tell you more if you're interested.

 Congrats on your first pregnancy! Happy and healthy 9 months to you!  

reizen

I don't have a buddie, though I don't have a TON of time to devote to the boards. If anyone will have me, here's my info...

 

First time/ Second/ Third, Etc.: First

 

Previous losses: None

 

IF issues: None 

 

Amount of time TTC: Only 7 months (Nov 2010)

 

Natural birth, or pain relief? I would love to be able to do Natural, but if I get to the point where I'm struggling, pain relief it is!

 

Home birth/ hospital birth preferred? Hospital

 

Anything else you feel would help match us all up well:)

I am 34 and this is my first ever pregnancy. I've been ready for a baby for going on 10 years now and I can't believe it's finally happened! Since I've waited so long for my first, the giggly super girlie baby excitement isn't there. I'm more in the "holy sh*t, it's finally happened" frame of mind. lol  I am the type of person who loves to know EVERYTHING that is going on, so I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of searching and reading to try and figure out what LO and my own body are going through. I work full time and just started on grad school (great timing, eh?). Grad school is a struggle for me because I don't want DH and I to be SO busy over the next 9 months that we can't enjoy this pregnancy. It's extremely tempting just to quit now, but I'm making myself tough it out as long as I can. I want to make the most of this pregnancy because I know that you can never make assumptions that you'll be able to do what you want (have more children).  Here's to making the MOST of the symptoms and enjoying it as best I can!!

AndieM

tickled_pickle

I don't know what this adoption thing is about, nor am I in any place to adopt anyone since I'm new here. But I just wanted to say that I'm in Ontario, too. Pregnant with my second, and DH and I have also been together for 11 years (married for 3). And I had a hospital midwife birth with my first - and if you don't mind my suggesting it: go with the midwives!!! The care you will receive will be a hundred times better, I swear. I can tell you more if you're interested.

 Congrats on your first pregnancy! Happy and healthy 9 months to you!  

 

Ha ha, I love your avatar!/screenname  Glad there are some other Ontarians on the boards! 

Thanks for the suggestion!!  I've been thinking about midwives for awhile.  I'd definitely like to hear more.  DH isn't too sure about it, I think he feels like he's being replaced.  But I just feel like doctors sometimes don't have a lot of time to answer all your little questions, and, especially because we really don't know what we're doing, I know we're going to have a lot of them!  Glad to hear you had a good experience!  I'm going to look into it.  How did you find yours?

How old is your little one? 

 

AndieM

 reizen Anything else you feel would help match us all up well:) I am 34 and this is my first ever pregnancy. I've been ready for a baby for going on 10 years now and I can't believe it's finally happened! Since I've waited so long for my first, the giggly super girlie baby excitement isn't there. I'm more in the "holy sh*t, it's finally happened" frame of mind. lol  I am the type of person who loves to know EVERYTHING that is going on, so I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of searching and reading to try and figure out what LO and my own body are going through. I work full time and just started on grad school (great timing, eh?). Grad school is a struggle for me because I don't want DH and I to be SO busy over the next 9 months that we can't enjoy this pregnancy. It's extremely tempting just to quit now, but I'm making myself tough it out as long as I can. I want to make the most of this pregnancy because I know that you can never make assumptions that you'll be able to do what you want (have more children).  Here's to making the MOST of the symptoms and enjoying it as best I can!!

Totally agree with what you mention about not having that giddy feeling. We are kind of in the "wow, this is really happening" frame of mind.  I think after trying for so long, we had both mentally resigned ourselves to the fact that it wouldn't happen for us.  When I showed DH the positive test, the first words out of his mouth were "I don't believe it".  Those were my first thoughts too.  I was positive the test would be negative.  I was in absolute shock.  Over the last few weeks it's sunk in a bit.  The big sore boobs and no AF have helped with that too, lol, but I still think it will feel more real once we have an u/s. 

I've also been super curious about all the changes that are happening!  What did women do before the internet??!?!

Good luck with all you have on the go!

 

frasey

Ontarian here as well - all my friends recommend a midwife, so thats what Fi and I plan on doing.

AndieM

frasey:

Ontarian here as well - all my friends recommend a midwife, so thats what Fi and I plan on doing.

Glad to hear so many people have had good experiences.  Very encouraging! 

And yea for another Ontarian!

tickled_pickle

Okay, here's my take. It might get long.

When I was debating between MW and Dr, I had no idea what the difference was and my family doctor was no help because she knew nothing about MWs. So I decided I wanted to meet with one of each and decide from there. I met my first midwife (I had two, they work in a team) and LOVED her right off the bat. She was amazing, super friendly, didn't rush my appointment and was just really warm and made me feel very comfortable. Then I went in for a consult with an OB. I didn't think it would be a big deal - all the pregnancy books I was reading said you should meet with a few doctors before deciding which one to go with. I hadn't considered that those books were written for American readers! Apparently in Ontario, OHIP is only supposed to cover ONE initial prenatal visit - with a doctor OR a midwife. You're not allowed to have simultaneous care. I had no idea, so I broke the rules. OOPS!

Anyway, I went to see the OB recommended by my doctor, and most of my appointment was conducted by her assistant. I mean like 40 minutes of family history questions and blood pressure and other stats, etc., and I mentioned to her that I was debating between a midwife and an OB. She passed that tidbit on to the OB, so by the time the OB actually came in to see me (just a quick 5 minute follow-up after her assistant did all the work) she was sort of... put off that I had double booked for my first prenatal visit. She said my doctor should have explained that to me better. Then she flat-out told me that if I think I might want a midwife, then that's the route I should take. Now, don't get me wrong - the OB was very nice and I think I would have liked her if she became my care provider. But the type of care that an OB offers would not be right for me, so I knew right away that I would be going with the MWs.

And they were AMAZING. They never rushed appointments, EVER, and yet there was hardly a wait time to see them. (I heard awful stories from my friends who would wait 1 hour for an OB visit that lasted 5 minutes!) They were on-call for any questions, any time. They supported all of my choices (I had a hypnobirth - I also highly recommend) and were very informative about the things I wasn't sure about. One of them came to my house when I went into very early labour, just to check my progress (which was slow, so she left), and came back the next day and stayed with me until I was ready to go to the hospital. Then she went ahead to the hospital and checked me in before I even arrived, so I just cruised right through into my room. And I didn't see a single doctor or nurse again until after DD was born. Both of my midwives were amazingly encouraging through my labour, but they IN NO WAY replaced DH during labour. (I think your DH might be confusing them with a doula?) He was there and just as much a support as they were, and they even helped guide him with suggestions for what he could do to make labour easier, like where to apply pressure on my back, etc. I hope I'm not scaring you - I had a really great birth experience and I'm actually looking forward to doing it all again (even though it was really, really hard!), so I'm definitely not trying to freak you out!

But the best part about having MWs was the postpartum care. Holy hell, they were so great. They came to visit me in my home for the first week or two after delivery to check on baby, offer lactation support (which I really needed) and make sure my recovery was going smoothly. After the first couple weeks, I was given the option to go to the office or have them come to me, and I chose to go to the office because I felt great by then. By my last visit with them, I cried knowing that my care was over. I really, really hope I can have the same two I did for my first pregnancy, but even if not, I'm sure I'll get some amazing ones anyway. 

And to answer your question about how I found them: I called the hospital where I wanted to deliver (the closest one to my home) and asked them to refer me to the midwives that have privileges at that hospital. I guess not all MWs can deliver at all hospitals - they have to get special privileges to do so, and so if you know where you want to deliver, that's where you should start. They'll give you a number to call.

PHEW! I told you that would get long. Sorry, I talk a lot. I'm happy to answer any more questions you have. I am SUCH a fan of MW care and I wish more people knew how amazing they are. I had no idea! Unfortunately, from my understanding, doctors don't recommend them as much because they just don't have much experience with them. 

AndieM

Wow, that's a lot of info.  Very informative, thanks!!

I'm totally confused though.  Admitedly, I haven't done much research on the midwife issue yet, but what I kind of wanted was a dr to deliver and a midwife for support.  I guess that's double dipping, I didn't realize it was either or.  I think that's where DH got his idea what she was "replacing" him. 

We had trouble conceiving, so I've been seeing my OB for over a year now.  She did my IUI.  If I had to choose between the two I think I'd feel like I was jumping ship a bit.  Hmmm...  More research is required!  Thanks so much for providing all that info.  Glad you had such a great experience.  The kind of support you mentioned is just what I'm looking for since I haev no idea what I'm doing! 

 There's actually an office right by my work, maybe I'll stop in and get some info. 

tickled_pickle

That's a good idea, to get some more info from the office! Also, you should talk to your doctor about it. I didn't realize you already had an OB, but they are very familiar with the OB/MW decision that we pregnant women have to make, and I'm sure she'd be understanding if you wanted to go the MW route, or at least just discuss it with her.

I don't know about having both - my understanding is that you can't (but I can't say for sure - maybe there are special circumstances, or some OBs work with MWs?) However, if you wanted an OB to delivery anyway, but have a MW for support, what I think you are looking for is a doula. They are like a labour coach, who are super knowledgeable (many are also or have been MWs, I think) and are there to cheer you on and hold your hand and help you through your labour. Some even provide support through part of the pregnancy as well. They don't replace your SO, they are just an extra support person. I don't know too much about them because I didn't have one, but I've heard they are WONDERFUL, especially if you're going with an OB but want some extra hand-holding. 

But, doulas are not funded by OHIP. So it might be pricey.

Anyway, good luck with your decision!

AndieM

Thanks for all the info.  I really appreciate it!!  Lots to think about!