1st Trimester

Article I saw on another board 'Why Don't I like My Own Child?'

The article made me sad, and it makes you really think. I know others have said they cried while reading it, but I think there is something we can all learn from it.

It does have a happy ending.

https://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/article.aspx?cp-documentid=28895290

My favourite quote is by her husband at the end 'There's a laundry list of things no one ever tells you when you have children. One of them is that your child will teach you how to be the parent they need ? if you're willing to listen.'

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Re: Article I saw on another board 'Why Don't I like My Own Child?'

  • Wow that article was intense.  I'm glad one of the mother's friends finally helped her to better understand her role as a mother.

    And while I can imagine a relationship as extreme as this one, my older DD and I definitely bump heads often.  I'm an extrovert, she has always been an extreme introvert.  She has become a lot more outgoing after seeing the attention little sister received.  But, then I remember all her neat points, she's super smart, like a sponge-soaks up everything she sees or hears. I'm glad it's never got to the point that the mother in this article reached. 

    Thanks for sharing. 

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  • I read this in Redbook last week! So sad. I think part of it is her lack of confidence as a mother. In the magizine there was a little side not from her husband saying that he knows his wife loves their daughter and that the daughter alays runs to mommy first with owies and good and bad news. I'm not saying I think she's a great mom, but I think she probably sees herself worse than she might be.
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  • This was a really interesting article for me to read, not as a parent, but as a child of a mother who I often suspected didn't like me very much. A lot of what the author describes about herself vs. her daughter reminded me of the dynamic my mother and I had. So much so that it was eery. I'm glad this mom realized what was going on early, and that she was able to hear her friend when she called her out. Thanks very much for sharing the link.
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  • I actually think it's very important that articles like that are written.  Everything, society and instinct alike, tells us that we must cherish our children above all else. When for some reason we don't, whether it be a depression issue or otherwise, it used to be hidden away. No one ever discussed it, so if it happened to someone, they had no idea what to do. People coming forward and being honest about their feelings will hopefully help other parents experiencing the same things to get help sooner, rather than prolonging the damage to both parent and child.

    The only part that really made me sad was where the author expressed annoyance at her daughter asking silly questions ("What if day were night, and night were day? What if it snowed in summer? What if our last name was Nebraska?") I think all kids should ask those sorts of things. :)

  • I read this article and took it as a cautionary tale for my own life.  My family has a pretty strong history of clinical depression and I was on meds for Cyclothymia (in the bipolar spectrum) and am definitely going to be keeping track of my moods and symptoms throughout the pregnancy and post-partum.
  • Kind of sad. Not sure how I would be in that situation.
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  • I felt for that mother when reading it.  I was shocked by all of the replies that degraded her and said her kids should be taken away.  What she said was probably difficult and of course brutally honest.  There are probably others who feel this way and it's important for them to (anonymously) get this on the table so people can discuss it rather than pretending it doesn't happen.  Nobody is perfect and what's important is that she could realize her flaws.  I think what happened to her is probably how a lot of moms are with their "normal' kids.  They just don't admit it.  There's plenty of moms out there that expect their kids be a certain way and get disappointed when they are not.  But, they make excuses instead of confronting the issue and being honest with themselves.  This woman decided not to make excuses for herself and just be honest with how she really felt.  
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