1st Trimester

I posted this when I first got my BFP

but after seeing some of the posts and issues people are already having, I think it's worth reposting...and it's just funny!

Disclaimer: While all of these things are true for some pregnant woman at some point or another, they aren't necessarily true for ALL people (although they are for me!), but I DID NOT WRITE THIS. I am merely reposting it, and while much of it is true, it is in good fun.


Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass.

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.

4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL (Mother-in-Law) or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

8. If you did not receive an invitation to the ultrasound, amnio, hospital, L&D, home then you were not invited. You do not get to trump the mother's call on this one. Don't think you are doing us a favor by just showing up to "help out". If your assistance is needed, it will be requested.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less. I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.

Signed, All Pregnant Women

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Re: I posted this when I first got my BFP

  • lol so true!

    number 9 happened with dd. my aunt and two cousins came to 'help" and it lead to me (with 25 stitches) doing extra cooking, extra dishes, and extra laundry. they were like houseguests not helpers. this time around we've said see us in the hospital, and then no one may come over for 2 weeks. after that by invitation only for no more than 2 hours at a time. it sounds strict, but its what we want.

    My Signature won't work! I am a proud mommy of two (1&3) and starting an adventure to help a family having a baby through surrogacy. ***My Surrogacy Blog*** http://www.themandyloo.blogspot.com
  • Haha, I love this! I think this list should be handed out to everyone a pregnant woman knows and be made a PSA.

    When my friend was very visibly pregnant, she said people would not offer her a seat on the bus, but strangers would touch her belly and rub it.

    The random people touching my belly thing freaks me out. I plan on practicing how to make the most disgusted face ever when they do it so it scares them to touch me ever again.

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  • imageNoodleM:

    Haha, I love this! I think this list should be handed out to everyone a pregnant woman knows and be made a PSA.

    When my friend was very visibly pregnant, she said people would not offer her a seat on the bus, but strangers would touch her belly and rub it.

    The random people touching my belly thing freaks me out. I plan on practicing how to make the most disgusted face ever when they do it so it scares them to touch me ever again.

    Rub their's back!

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  • Yeah, this is fabulous and may need to be re-posted weekly! Needed this, this morning! Thanks!
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  • I laughed out loud all the way through this! I also laughed at the mental image of rubbing a strangers back when they start touching your tummy - that would be so awkward! It might actually get the point across. Hmm...
    A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for you keep. Hold on to your dreams and someday your rainbow will come shining through. No matter how your heart is bleeding if you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true. - Cinderella
  • A pregnant friend of mine recently posted on facebook that a strange lady rubbed her belly, so she smiled and rubbed her belly back.  She didn't say what the lady did, but I decided that this is how I am going to handle it.

    image

    Layla 01.08.12

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    Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13

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    My Gang.  Halloween 2013

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