embarssaing lack of experience with birth

honeybee #1

This sounds stupid, even to me, but as much as I keep telling myself it doesn't make sense, it really bothers me to try to give birth without ever witnessing a birth. Fortunately, I would much rather have a natral birth, because thanks to convulsions every time I'm poked with a needle an epidural is a very bad idea. But on the other hand I feel like I'm kind of stuck with no relief, trying to do something I have no experience with whatsoever. Is there anything out there (a video perhaps) for someone who feels like she should at least get to see it happen before she does it herself?

mrsashkennedy

I watched a few real birth videos when I first got pregnant. They're easy to find if you google "birthing videos" or "natural birth videos". I don't think witnessing a birth is essential but I felt better watching some. even if I didn't know the person.  And if you're leaning toward a natural birth, I'd watch the natural videos. There's usually quite a contrast in the "feel" of the births and the atmosphere vs. the hospital ones. Other than that I would suggest just researching. Research every aspect of birth that comes to mind and you will feel much more comfortable. I've never had a child and I am 100% comfy with having a natural birth with no meds after all the research I've done. Your body was made for this, you can do it  

julyjennifer

On the one hand, it's a little like saying you're not comfortable attempting a bowel movement without watching someone else do it...your body is going to know what to do, even if you don't. 

On the other hand, there's a big mental and emotional part to birthing, and I think it helps to be prepared by knowing what to expect your body to do so you don't freak out, and having support (e.g., care provider you trust, partner, doula).  Watching some videos online can help you understand some of the mechanics and to understand what a normal unmedicated birth can be like.

seethesmiles

Have you looked into a birthing class? DH and I took a Bradley class with DS (our first) and it really gave me the confidence I needed. In the class, we watched several videos of women giving birth and we read a lot of birth stories. Actually, I used very few of the pain management techniques we learned but the benefit of the class, for me, was the knowledge I gained. I went into my labor/delivery with some idea of what to expect and that helped me stay calm. Good luck -- you can definitely do it!

honeybee #1

Thanks You really nailed my big fear (and my reason why I feel stupid for asking), It really just seems like I'm expecting to manage to do something I've never done or been shown how to do before. But I think a little prep and some knowledge will make me feel a lot better thank you.

aliska

Don't feel embarrassed!  We all started with the same knowledge about birth when we were born, and have learned through many different forms: reading books, reading articles online, attending classes, attending births, and more.  I don't think anything can prepare you for birth day...even if you've had a baby before since every birth is different.  You have done a great thing by asking questions and wanting to know more.  Good luck!

FyshWyfe

Don't worry about not having any experience with it.  If you read a few books about the stages of labor (e.g., Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way) you'll know what to expect.  If you listen to your body, you'll know what to do.  Natural birth is not just for second-time mamas.  You can do it if you commit and prepare.  Promise. 

And yes, watching videos can be extremely helpful and motivating. Good luck! 

Fletcha

I've spent hours on youtube watching water births and home births, they are the best! Hypnobirth/hypnobabies births are also very cool to watch.

There's a first time for everything!