I'm a total hypocrite!

AvaLikeLava

I might DD this later because I don't want to get into this conversation w/ DH. At least not yet. And I'm using this post to sort my thoughts out.

(as some of you know) DH and I used to skydive a lot. He has over 1000 jumps, and I have a little over 200. Since our wedding, 5 yrs ago, we haven't gone much. DH's grad school got in the way, than buying & fixing a house, then kids.... DH hasn't officially quit the sport of skydiving, but I have. I just need to sell my gear (though I'm really dragging my feet on it). We kind of transitioned to flying in the tunnel over in UC (which I love, btw).

We still receive Parachutist magazine, and last night DH and G were flipping through it, and G was absolutely fascinated. He walked away to bed saying "I want to do that". And my heart sank. Because I don't know how comfortable I feel about it.

Hence the hypocrisy. Yes, I know the risks, and the statistics, and the precautions, and the training involved. These are things I've quoted to MY parents and friends. I have "knock on wood" NOT lost any friends to that sport. BASE, yes. Skydiving, not yet, and I hope it stays that way. But, still... I don't know why I'm uncomfortable with the idea of it. I've met amazing friends through that sport, DH and I got closer because of it. I've gained a different appreciation about my life and wild-life through it (something about watching a hawk fly BELOW you is pretty frikkin' awesome). I've gotten to know my personal strength, and had a lot of retrospection. Why DON'T I want this for my sons?

Now... we've taken G to the tunnel before. He's flown in it 3 times and the last 2 he really hated it and wanted out as soon as the engine started. We'll keep trying as he get's older because I love the idea of flying with him in the tunnel. But skydiving... I dunno.

m&m818

IMHO, I think its because your his mom. He's a part of you, and while logically you know the facts and risks.... the irrational, emotional, loving, protective mother in you doesn't want to see anything happen to your baby (at 1 yr old or 30). I've found that I didn't really understand my parents perspective until I became a parent. 

When I think about my DD even thinking about doing something like that... it feels like a part of my heart will be jumping out of a plane too. It doesn't feel good. Heck I didn't feel good about my kid climbing a new apparatus at the park the other day.

So I think its normal to feel the way you do and doesn't make you a hypocrite. 

 

amyfelice

I feel that way about Motorcycle riding. DH drives his every day to work and before we had children we used to ride it together if we were going to the city, to avoid the parking issue, and I have ridden on other's MC's although never driven one. I am always worried about DH on the road, especially in bad weather, but I am pretty confident that he does not take any risks, of course it doesn't mean he won't get hit by someone else that doesn't see him. 

I am already imagining that my daughter may want to do this since she sees Dad doing it, and I am pretty sure he won't hold her back. It freaks me out but how could I say no? Scary scary stuff.

I didn't know you did all that skydiving BTW, that's really impressive. Anyway, I guess that's not really advice but I get what you are saying. I think we have to allow them to make their own decisions at some point. Driving a car is the biggest risk of all and all the kids learn to do that, most likely before they are really ready. 

 

everydayeve

I think you wouldn't be a mom if you didn't worry about G doing something like that. Just because we can recite statistics and know first hand about how safe an activity is, doesn't mean the emotional aspect is removed. Moms have evolved over thousands of years to protect their children. Blame nature on the hypocrisy of it, not yourself.

And then realize that you're going to have to let go at some point in time. And it's a long way away.

soon2Bkranz

I love my tattoo but I do not want my kids getting any. Part of being a mom is being a hypocrite right

AvaLikeLava

Thank you for giving me perspective. You're right -- this is not isolated to skydiving alone. I worry about them running out into the street, riding a bike... anything that can get them injured, maimed or killed. It's just the mamma bear instinct I guess.

I feel better, and slightly less a hypocrite now

Libbs, I guess I didn't want to be a "do as I say, not as I do" role-model... although for sure there will be many times in the future I probably will be.

soon2Bkranz

AvaLikeLava:

Thank you for giving me perspective. You're right -- this is not isolated to skydiving alone. I worry about them running out into the street, riding a bike... anything that can get them injured, maimed or killed. It's just the mamma bear instinct I guess.

I feel better, and slightly less a hypocrite now

Libbs, I guess I didn't want to be a "do as I say, not as I do" role-model... although for sure there will be many times in the future I probably will be.

I have already literally said that to my kids. This is mommys drink you cant have it! LOL

tri-reader

When I read this I totally wasn't thinking hypocrite, I was thinking...you're a mom.