Sleep/BFing? Sad about Supplementing/Vent-ish — The Bump
May 2011 Moms

Sleep/BFing? Sad about Supplementing/Vent-ish

Honestly I have so many questions I could write for 3 days and still not be done!

I am concerned about BFing and letting him sleep until he wakes on his own.  I have been feeding him when he gives the cues or wakes up crying.  I feel really guilty but I usually feed him and if he falls asleep I let him sleep until he wakes on his own.  He has slept as long as 3 hours and 45 minutes.  Is that bad?  Should I be waking him up sooner to eat?

Today I found out that my baby is not gaining weight like he should.  So, I have to supplement 1 oz of formula or expressed breast milk after each feeding until we go back to the lactation nurse on Friday.  This is absolutely heart breaking for me because I feel like I have failed at every turn.  I couldn't go into labor on my own, I gave in to the epi, and had to have a c-sec.  I know none of this is my fault but I am pretty depressed about it all.  All the nurses in the hospital were impressed with my quick recovery and how well I responded to the baby in the hospital but now that I am home I am sad and anxious instead of happy and content like the first few days.

Thanks for listening.  


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Re: Sleep/BFing? Sad about Supplementing/Vent-ish

  • I'm sorry, I can't help but I just wanted to give you a virtual hug ::hug:: hang in there hon. Your a good mama.
  • Hi mama,

    You are doing the best you can!  Give yourself a break.  Your child will grow up healthy with the supplement and regardless of how he arrived here (epi, c-section) he is here!!  

    I had to use fertility drugs to get pregnant, and I used to beat myself about that and not being a "complete woman".

    Why are we so mean to ourselves?   

  • I would talk to your pedi about how long to let him sleep. When we left the hospital they said to wake her every 2-4 hours for feedings until she is back to her birth weight. Once she started to gain weight Dr said we can let her sleep as long as 5 hours before waking her to feed. I'm sure the LC will give you advice on how to up your milk supply when you meet on Friday. Until then good luck
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  • I had to supplement due to the baby having jaundice. I was so upset because I was so hell bent on not using bottles. I was so happy when the nurse came in with a supplemental system by Medela. It is kind of like an IV that I tape to my breast. The little tube goes along my breast and when the baby latches he got my milk and the formula that I needed to supplement. It worked so great and made me feel so much better about supplementing! good luck! Don't beat yourself up we are all just trying our best to be the best mommies we can be!
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  • i would definitely talk to your dr about how long you should let your baby sleep. my dr said to wake ds every two to three hours.  you are doing fine though, im sure.   i think breastfeeding is a bit of a challenge for every mom 
  • MrsDLMrsDL member
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    Don't beat yourself up - like pp said - you are doing your best. BFing is the hardest thing - I didn't think it was going to be easy but we never imagined it would be as difficult as H and I both feel it has been (and obviously he's not the one feeding).

    My ped office has two lactation consultants - I met with one yesturday at my son's one week appointment and it was so helpful. Maybe something like that would help - I had a huge list of questions and she was able to watch me. I feel better having some answers and some valiation. My little guy wants to feed around the clock - he was bigger at birth, but he does fall asleep while I'm bf'ing most of the time so he's on there extra long or has long stints of sleep. The consultant said for my own sanity do all I can to feed him every 2 to 3 hours during the day (start to start -wake him up) and evening, try not let him use my breasts as a pacifer (which he was doing) in between feedings, and then late night he can go up to four or five hours without me having to wake him. A consultant can watch you and check his latch and sucking. I feel 100X better after the appointment even though my son did gain all his weight back - I wasn't sure what was going on since it seems he's ALWAYS hungry except late night.

    Good luck!

  • Don't be so hard on yourself!

    I wanted a natural birth and I lasted about 10 minutes before begging for an epi.  They even had to use a little vacuum to get sweetpea out.  I also pretty much had to give her formula off the bat, as she wasn't eating at all and her stomach needed to be pumped (a lavage or something is what it is called).  I can't even get her to latch on and feed from my breast, so I am pumping every 2-3 hours and supplementing with formula (I can't make enough - I had BR surgery).

    There is no failing if you have a happy, healthy baby.  Don't beat yourself up!  It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job

  • I was sort of in the same boat! I had asked my pedi if I should wake DD in the middle of the night to eat and he told me you never wake a sleeping baby! But on one long as she is gaining weight. So if your baby isn't gaining weight I would probably wake him every 3 hours for a feeding.

    As far as the breastfeeding...I was so gung-ho about breastfeeding but it is the hardest thing ever! I never thought it would be this hard! I'm doing the best that I can do (and spoke to my pedi about this) and then I'm supplementing with formula. My take on it (after feeling sooooo guilty about using formula) is as long as my daughter is getting some of my breastmilk a day then that's more beneficial than getting none! She's still getting those antibodies and whatever else is good for them!

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  • BF has been the hardest thing I have ever done! My baby has jaundice, which has made him very sleepy. My pedi told me to wake him every two hours (before he was going three hours). I also wake him up (undress, tickle toes, rub scalp, cool water on face) for him to complete a feeding. Since then he has gained about an ounce a day and is now at his birth weight. I know just how terrible it feels to be told you need to supplement. Have faith that you and your milk are what is best for your LO. I was told I needed to pump and then supplement. My natural instinct was to keep breastfeeding though, and then offer a bottle if he was still hungry. I tried pumping for an evening and it would have driven me to give up COMPLETELY. It wouldn't have worked for me. Hold on tight to all the support and encouraging words you receive. I just kept replaying those words in my head and remembering the benefits of BFing. I didn't have a med-free birth, and I may not fully cloth diaper like I wanted to... but I just can't give up BFing - it is the priority for me and my baby.
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  • I wake LO up every 2 hours to feed during most of the day and let him wake me up at night (I count 'night' as anytime after his 10:00 feeding and before about 6am). Now it seems like he wakes himself up pretty much every two hours.

    I would try feeding him more often (every 2 hours du ring the day) and this should help him sleep longer through the night and increase your milk supply (I was told this by my midwife and a lactation nurse). Supplement for now, but with BF every 2 hours you shouldn't have to. I know every baby is different but my LO gained 15oz in 8 days (almost 2oz a day!) with just breastfeeding- the first 5 nights I woke him up every 2hours, but now I let him sleep at night and feel much more sane.

  • I literally could have written this post! I wound up with an induction that ended in a c-section. I then had to supplement with formula bc DD lost almost a pound in the hospital. I felt like such a failure and cried hysterically in the hospital because I felt like it was my fault that my baby was starving.
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