Stay at Home Moms
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How to decide
Hi. I've never been on here, but I have a question I'm hoping can be answered. My DH is in the Army, and we are adamant about wanting one parent home. We would both love to do it, so we basically said that whoever would make more money outside the home will do that. I'm in school now (DS goes to daycare a few hours, but he loves it so I'm fine with that), and when I graduate I'll be able to make much more than DH could with what he does. Until a few weeks ago, that settled the matters... But then something happened that made me wonder whether I'd end up staying home. When I came to my senses I realized it wasn't that big a deal and probably won't affect my getting a job. But then I felt like I was mourning. When I thought about "having" to stay home, I thought of all the things I'd get to be there for, and the things I'd have time for with my kid(s). So now I'm wondering if I should request DH to continue working instead. Would that be bad? I know he wants to be home too, but will do whatever I ask. Also, we won't be as well-off financially. Still enough to survive (I grew up on homemade everything and thrift store clothes; I've got no problem continuing that legacy), but not as much available as if I'm the one outside the home. I don't believe that I should stay home because I'm more capable of nurturing or anything, I just really want to. DH would be great at it. I'm just not sure if I am willing to let him do it instead of me. Help?
~Julie
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Re: How to decide
Could you both work part time?
A good friend of mine and her DH both want to SAH. Instead, she works 3 days a week, and he works 4 days a week, so they always have a long weekend together, and they both get lots of time with their daughter.
This. If you both want to stay at home, I would recommend trying to find a way for you to both have extra time at home.
One of you could find a job where you work a few nights/weekends and the other could work a few days a week during normal business hours. That way someone is always home with LO and you are both working less than full time so you still see each other. I used to bartend, and I made as much Friday & Saturday night as I did all week at my "serious job" .