Pregnant after a Loss

Intro. & Some ?'s (kind of long)

Hi  ladies Smile I very cautiously introduced myself lest week and wanted to formally do so now.

I?ll try to keep as short as possible: I was on birth control for 15 years due to ovarian cysts. I came off last May and we went about our business w/o making any efforts not to get pg. We started actually TTC in January and got our first BFP in late March. Sadly our little blessing didn?t grow past 5 weeks and at 7 weeks and 3 days I had a natural m/c. We were told to wait 2 cycles before TTC again and somehow managed to be blessed with another BFP last Monday. I wasn?t sure if it was really a BFP or if it was residual hormones from the m/c but after 2 Beta tests (#1 570, #2 1481) it was confirmed that it?s a new pregnancy. God willing, I will be here with you ladies for the next 9 months.

 Here are the questions I have: I think I am at about 5 weeks maybe a few days and I?m not really feeling much nausea or severe breast tenderness- is this normal? My 2nd question is how do you deal with a DH that is totally panicking? My Dr wants me to go in next week for an u/s to make sure that the pregnancy is progressing appropriately. DH is convinced that it?s going to be too early and that we are going to go through the same thing as last time. I want to follow my Dr.?s directions but I don?t want him to get stressed either. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks for listening!

Me 36 DH 38
Married 1/22/10
BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum

Re: Intro. & Some ?'s (kind of long)

  • MCH77MCH77 member

    Congrats!

    I would follow your dr advice, if he wants you in... go.  My DH was totally freaked out by our pg too.  He didn't want anyone to know and wouldn't talk about it for the first few weeks (maybe up to 12w).  I knew my m/c was hard on him, but I really didn't understand the total effect until I was pg again.  Be easy with DH, but let him know that there are medical reasons to go to following the dr's advice. 

    I wish you the best. 

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • quezzoquezzo member

    Congratulations on your new LO! 

    Some people on here have had virtually no symptoms during their pregnancies. I never had M/s. A little nausea but that's it. My breasts hurt, but my SIL and other friends never had sore breast. Every pregnancy is different so unfortunately there is no way to really tell if this is just what will be normal for you this time around.

    As for your DH, he needs to relax and listen to your doctor. If you are five weeks this week and six next you should be able to see something on the u/s. You may not see the HB yet because in the sixth week it can be a matter of days and even hours before it starts beating, but you should see something.

    You are going to have enough fears throughout this being PgAL so DH is going to have to try and find a way to be strong at this point and not get too excited in terms of his fears. Do you know anyone else IRL who has been through a loss? Maybe he could talk to their husband? 

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  • amu1234amu1234 member

    Thanks so much!!!! I guess I'll probablly over analyze all my symptoms or lack of.

    I do know a few people IRL who have gone through a loss, but I'm not sure how DH will feel talking to someone about it. He'll barely talk to me about the pregnancy. He was so supportive and cal during the m/c, now it seems like we have reversed roles and he's the one going nuts.

    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • quezzoquezzo member
    imageamu1234:

    Thanks so much!!!! I guess I'll probablly over analyze all my symptoms or lack of.

    I do know a few people IRL who have gone through a loss, but I'm not sure how DH will feel talking to someone about it. He'll barely talk to me about the pregnancy. He was so supportive and cal during the m/c, now it seems like we have reversed roles and he's the one going nuts.

    Is he coming with you to the u/s? Maybe that will help so he can ask the doctor all this questions or at least voice his concerns. The doctor also might be able to help him by giving you a plan for the first tri. By plan I mean when you will get ultrasounds/doppler checks and what he could expect to see/hear at each of those appointments? 

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  • amu1234amu1234 member
    He's trying to get the time off to go with me. I like the idea of a plan- I think that would help him a lot. Thank you so much!
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
  • Congrats!  Not having nausea that early or sometimes ever is completely normal.  IMO symptoms don't really tell you much, but I know it becomes kind of hard not to focus on them.  I would listen to your Dr. and just be sensitive to DH's anxiety.  GL!
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

  • MH is freaked out too. He actually dealt with it better when things were not going well than he has with the good news about my betas. It seems to help if I stay calm and walk him through everything rationally. He's not as interested in the science as I am but he does better hearing the reality of being PgAL distilled into a few key points and expressed calmly.

    If you have an u/s next week, you should be able to see a fetal pole (embryo) that has grown past where you lost your last pg. That might help him feel a lot better.

    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • My DH is the same way. He was my rock of support during my m/c, then last week when I told him I was prengant again, he's been distant ever since. I just came to the conclusion that he needs to deal with this in his own way and will come around when he's ready. Congrats on the BFP!
    image 
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      image
    January2014 Blog ** Admin to the January 2014 FB group!
  • Thank you so much!!!!!!! We talked last night and he shared that he is just worried about us having to go through it all over again. He's going to my u/s next Wed., I'm hoping that seeing the baby and a heartbeat will help him. You ladies are the best!
    Me 36 DH 38
    Married 1/22/10
    BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
    BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
    BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum
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