Shower advice - when and who to invite??

kbard

Hi Fellow December Moms!

I need some baby shower advice from anyone who is more in the know than I am. 

My sister asked me about my baby shower this weekend - when I wanted to have it, who I wanted to invite etc. and instead of making me excited, it made me feel stressed.  Her kids are teenagers, so she's not really in the know either. 

I don't live where this shower will be held, so I will have to travel.  When I suggested Labor Day weekend she said that would be too early (and not a good travel weekend for her).  When do people usually have showers? 

Also, who do you usually invite to your shower?  Is it like a wedding shower where your friends and your parents friends are invited (that you may or may not know very well) or is it usually just more of your close friends?

I would really appreciate any insight you have. 

Thanks so much!!

stacie1227

I would have the shower after thirty weeks and as for who you invite it really depends on your own preference. I have been to showers where it is just 20 people and then to some where the girl had 80 something. I would also factor in if you are having multiple showers my best friend had one for her family and one for her dh family since they did not live close to them.

oasis16

My shower will be in mid-October.  My mom is inviting a handful of friends, but they are all "aunts" that have known me since childhood.  Otherwise, it will be mostly my friends.

WhitneyZ11

I'm having two showers, and the first is about 4 hours away from where I live, and my doctor said she isn't comfortable for me being more than an hour away after the 30th week, that one is being planned for the 29th week, but the one that is going to be in the town where I live is being planned for the 32-34th week, ^.^  as far as inviting people it's all really personal preference, we are having my husbands family and all of our friends at the first one and at the second one we are having all family and one or two friends that live around here, hope this helps ^.^

Linds1224

I only had a shower for my first and he was due the beginning of April and my shower was held the beginning of Feb .. so about two months exactly before. It was family, friends and close family friends.. some of my mom's friends came but I'd grown up around them so they knew me forever. I wouldn't invite just random friends of my family that I didn't know. Baby showers (to me anyway) are a little more intimate than a wedding shower where you're supposed to invite every close friend and close family friend who will be attending the wedding. I say invite who you want to be a part of celebrating your babies uncoming arrival... there's no need to invite people who will never meet the baby. And as for when I think it's totally up to you. If I were having a shower for this baby I'd likely do it in October .. not too close to Christmas when everybody starts having plans every weekend and are broke and busy Christmas shopping... and also before I get too tired and the chance of going into labour early is a good possibility. Don't stress! Baby showers are fun .. more fun than wedding showers for sure

jmd22

I was just talking about this with a friend at lunch over the weekend. I am due Dec. 3rd, so my shower will probably be mid-October or so, I think. I will invite pretty much the same people as who came to my bridal shower- my mom and two aunts, plus a few cousins who I am close to who live locally; all of my close girlfriends; my MIL and SIL will probably come- they live out of state, but came for my bridal shower; and a few close friends of my mom and MIL. I think there were about 30 people at my bridal shower, and I'd like to keep the baby shower around the same size. 

I have been to baby showers with 15 people and showers with 50 people- it's really a personal choice as to who you invite- it can be as intimate or crazy as you want it to be!  

Kelly1109

Well with DD#1 I didn't have an actual shower.  My shower was scheduled for when I was 34 weeks and my water broke at 33 weeks and I was in the hospital for a week before I was included!  So even if it is early, its not a bad thing.  I would say around 30-32 weeks would be a good time to have one.

I doubt we'll have one for this one too - just because its #2 and honestly we already have a ton of stuff.

MrsT2008

It hasn't really been brought up yet, but I'd like to have my shower some time around 32 weeks (give or take a week or so) - right around early October.

Knowing our families, it will probably be one big shower with both sets of aunts, female cousins, and family friends (and my friends).  That's how my wedding shower was and it was a lot of fun. The only thing I can see is less of the family friends that I'm not as close with.

Happyappy

I essentially have three sets of in-laws... And they don't exactly get along. I know for sure two are planning showers already, and I'm guessing my real mil will want to do one for her side. I am staying out of it, honestly. I'll invite my friends and out of town family to whichever shower is going to be the smallest. But other then that I am gracious people want to host a shower for us. I also know my work will probably do a shower too. I'm just showing up wherever when told.

Mass-girl-at-heart

I had my hometown shower around 26 weeks (I think) but I flew home 3000 miles to be there.  My sister invited my closest friends, aunts, inlaw women and my "summer moms" close family friends who I saw every day for every summer of my childhood.

earychener

My mom just asked me about this the other day...here's what I'm doing:

I am due 12/1/11, and my shower is planned for 10/1/11 (just because my ultrasound puts me a little ahead, so I could go at the end of November).

I have a pretty large family on my DH's side, as well as my side, so it will probably be pretty big (60ish plus people).

I would invite close family and close friends.  Think about people that would be offended if you didn't invite them...that's how I go about it. It will probably be mostly who was at my wedding shower.

Good luck!

mbf124

I'm having two showers that I know of. Both will be in late September, I'm due Dec. 5. 

I'm just inviting family and close friends. It will be very similar to the guest lists for my bridal showers. 

iluvmylab

My sister is throwing me a shower in October for my side of the family.  My husband's aunts want to throw us one too, but that would just be his side of the family.  We don't have any friends where his family lives.  One of my good friends offered to throw me one here in the Houston area where we live so our friends here could celebrate with us.

RizziB

I'm not sure about the guest list yet, although mine probably won't be co-ed.  I live in a different state than most of my family and close friends so I'll probably have to travel too.  It will probably be in early to mid October.  

GoldenPeaches

I say have the shower when its most convenient for you, hosts, and as many guests as possible. We will be in our hometown the first week in September, so my sister is throwing it then. I'll be 26 weeks. Of course it is a different situation since we will be there anyway and it's a 15 hour drive.

May I suggest you ask her how many people she is prepared to host before you give her a list of invitees? This eliminates any awkwardness of you writing down 25, when she has the resources for 10 and then she either has to a) stretch to accommodate you, or b) have the conversation of "can you cut some of these people." 

I think who you invite depends on your circles. In some circles it is common to invite lots of people, and in others it is common to invite just your 10 or so closest friends and family. My cousin is having a shower this summer so I think I will follow her lead with invites. Maybe you could ask your mom who in the family is normally invited to these get togethers?

avehonduras

I've been thinking about mine too.  Usually, you can invite whoever you want.  You may want to think about whether it's going to be co-ed or girls only.  I would say that usually showers are held about a month before you're due.  I'm due December 9th so I was planning on having mine the end of October/beginning of November.  I think it's ok to invite your parents' friends.  I'm going to invite people from my mom's workplace that I don't know that well because they've been close with my mom and interested in my pregnancy and have all expressed interest in making/buying something for the baby.  It really depends on how big you want your shower to be and/or how intimate.  It stinks that you have to travel for your own shower.  You may want to think about having more than one shower to make sure your family and your friends can all attend.  Good luck!

NovOwl

Mine will be after baby is born.  We won't register or anything, it's not about the gifts. All of the women in both families will be invited, along with my close girlfriends and some of the women at work who I'm close with.  Everyone does it differently though, so whatever you do, make sure it's something you want, because you only get to do it once! If you aren't comfortable having people you're not close with (having to play host, etc) then don't send out the invite.