Being there for friend?
sweetie645
member
First of all, I want to let you know that I have lurked here a lot b/c my sister is an SP having problems with her LO's dad. You guys are so supportive of one another, I thought maybe you could give me some advice...
A good friend of ours was completely blindsided by his wife last week. They went to Vegas over the weekend to celebrate their anniversary. Two days later she tells him she's not happy and wants a divorce. He tells her whatever he can do to save the marriage, he will. The next day he finds out that she had an affair and won't even consider trying to stay with him, she is just done. They have a 2 year-old DD.
I feel so awful for him. He hasn't eaten a bite since he found out. He and DH are still going to go on a trip this weekend that they've had planned for awhile.
What can we do for him? (And please tell me if I am being rude by asking this here...I just really want to be there for him and want to know what I should and should not do in this case). What are some things that your friends did that helped you through the rough times? What are some things that your friends/family did that didn't help at all?
Re: Being there for friend?
Lend an ear to listen. Offer to help with his DD if he needs it. Cook a meal or two (freezer meals if he's not eating now) and take them to him. Don't constantly bring up his situation -- let him talk on his own terms.
Those were the things that were the most helpful for me.
I'd say listening is a good one. But sometimes we get tired of thinking about it and we just want to talk about anything but that. I did NOT want anyone to fix me up. But he's a guy, so he might. That seems to be how they cope.
I would have loved to have more help with mundane chores that I had no energy for. (grass cutting) Or help with the kids.