DW in hospital when LO is born

msjcordova

I was wondering if any of you mama's did anything special to let hospital staff know that DW was just that, DW, not sister, friend etc. Im worried that overtime new people come in the room we will have to reiterate that she is LO's mother as well and not my sister. 

2HopefulMoms

It looks like you are in CA, so your domestic partnership laws should be very familiar to hospital staff, even if you're not registered as DP's. Best thing to do is make sure she gets a matching bracelet or ID tag when you are admitted, stating that DW is the other parent. Here in Oregon, they automatically assign these ID bracelets to birth mom, partner and then baby when he/she is born. You may still have to tell people who she is, but the ID tags/bracelets are your "official" ID, should anyone ask. This is especially important after baby is born, so that DW can accompany the baby to exams, nursery or anywhere birth mom can't go because she's in recovery. Hope that helps!

2brides

L obviously had the 2nd hospital ID bracelet which allowed her onto the maternity floor, sign the kids in/out of the nursery, etc. Because you'll have multiple nurses over the course of your stay, you might have to remind them at the beginning of each shift that she is your DP. It is good practice. You'll spend the next however many years explaining that your child has 2 moms.

lnelson20

2brides:

L obviously had the 2nd hospital ID bracelet which allowed her onto the maternity floor, sign the kids in/out of the nursery, etc. Because you'll have multiple nurses over the course of your stay, you might have to remind them at the beginning of each shift that she is your DP. It is good practice. You'll spend the next however many years explaining that your child has 2 moms.

This was our experience as well. With both our kids' births, we just introduced ourselves and our baby (once he/she was born) to the nurse at the start of every shift when they came in to introduce themselves. It was a total non-issue. In fact, because I have milk supply issues the nurses were awesome about us using Kel's milk to supplement and kept talking about how great it was that Alexis was getting milk from both her moms

FWIW, we are in Minnesota where there is no legal recognition of our relationship, so we did make sure that our doctors and the hospital both had copies of our advance medical directives as part of our pre-registration. 

ssg73

We didn't do anything special and dw was treated as a parent.  We are in Massachusetts and at a hospital in the city so they see gay parents all the time.  We had a couple of nurses that seemed a little uncomfortable but nothing that was a problem.  I was in the hospital for 8 days and we had a great experience.  We had a funny experience in the or when the anesthesiologist told me she would go find my husband after I got my spinal.  I told her she would be looking for a long time as I had a wife.  I got a nice laugh out of the 25 people in the OR.  It turns out that one of the residents who helped deliver E was gay but we didn't find that out until she was on the show Boston Med last summer.  We only had one problem when we were in the nicu (for 2.5 months).   DW had brought a friend back to see E and then left the unit and I came back with another friend.  A nurse yelled at me across the room that I couldn't be back there since I wasn't a parent.  I held my arm up to show my wrist band to show I was a parent and told her I was Ella's mother.  She yelled across the room If you are her mother who was that other woman.  I was pissed at this point and told her she was her other mother.  A quick chat with the nurse manager and that nurse was never in the room with Ella again.  I hope you have a wonderful experience.

Two*True

We didn't do anything special. In fact, at the hospital orientation I asked if I should bring our marriage license or anything and they just laughed and then told me about all the other SS families they had as patients.  DW was given the matching ID bracelet, slept in the hospital bed more often than I, and was never treated any different than other spouses.  Actually, in some ways she was probably treated better. And we didn't have to explain to people at each shift, they just knew. Hell maybe our chart had a big rainbow sticker on it, I don't know, but I appreciated not having to even think about that after giving birth.

babyhyem

We had a great experience with our hospital and staff too. DW came with me to many appointments before the delivery so the delivering doctor knew us well. One of our nurses was a friend, so obviusloy she knew too. The rest of the staff either didn't care (knowing DW had on the bracelets), didn't ask, or on the opposite spectrum, asked us and we had a very educational discussion about being gay.

ssg73

Two*True:

We didn't do anything special. In fact, at the hospital orientation I asked if I should bring our marriage license or anything and they just laughed and then told me about all the other SS families they had as patients.  DW was given the matching ID bracelet, slept in the hospital bed more often than I, and was never treated any different than other spouses.  Actually, in some ways she was probably treated better. And we didn't have to explain to people at each shift, they just knew. Hell maybe our chart had a big rainbow sticker on it, I don't know, but I appreciated not having to even think about that after giving birth.

 Ella's chart def. had something about having 2 mommies in it. At shift change it was always something that the nurses mentioned (in the beginning) by end of our 2.5 month stay I am pretty sure everyone knew us!   Oh and our wedding picture in the isolette may have helped too.

ssg73

Two*True:

We didn't do anything special. In fact, at the hospital orientation I asked if I should bring our marriage license or anything and they just laughed and then told me about all the other SS families they had as patients.  DW was given the matching ID bracelet, slept in the hospital bed more often than I, and was never treated any different than other spouses.  Actually, in some ways she was probably treated better. And we didn't have to explain to people at each shift, they just knew. Hell maybe our chart had a big rainbow sticker on it, I don't know, but I appreciated not having to even think about that after giving birth.

 Ella's chart def. had something about having 2 mommies in it. At shift change it was always something that the nurses mentioned (in the beginning) by end of our 2.5 month stay I am pretty sure everyone knew us!   Oh and our wedding picture in the isolette may have helped too.

bluedaisyus

we didn't do anything other than giving them the medical POA at registration to put in her file. I got my own bracelet and no one ever treated me as anything other than a mama. but the hospital had dealt with other same-sex couples before us, including some very good friends of ours, so they had some experience with it.

raven0855

We are in NY and we didnt have any issues.  I joked that there must have been a big flag on us since no one ever made the comment about DW being my sister or anything else for that matter.  The only time we had a mishap was when the anesthesiologist was walking in and said sir....granted my wife looks like a 12 year old boy with a hat on so she was prob wondering why I had a twelve year old in the room with me anyway...LOL.