3 & 4yo feeding off of each other & getting in trouble

CD+AL

DS (3yo) and my niece (4yo) are together for a couple of weeks, and they're driving us nuts b/c they're feeding off of each other and causing all sorts of drama.  We've got everything from huge messes at meal time to inappropriate giggling to fighting at the drop of a hat.  I'm about to lose my mind.  

We've tried separating them for a bit, but they go right back to it once they're together.  We had a whole day of separation yesterday, but today is back to being nuts, which is doubly frustrating after such a nice day yesterday.  Timeouts don't work, and taking away privileges/toys hasn't done the trick either.  What else can I try before I go nuts????  They're both pretty good kids (although niece doesn't have strong discipline at home which I think adds to the issue), but together, I'm not really liking either one of them right now.

shouldbworkin

I think those are both just really tough ages.  My kids got into a lot of mischeif when DS was 3-4.  Now tha the's a bit older, it's a little easier.  For awhile, they could no be left alone at all b/c they would find trouble.  Meal times are kept very short.  If anything, I would just try some positive reinforcement, since it is kind of hard to discipline someone else's child.  Maybe let them know what the expectations are up front and what the natural consequence of misbehaving is.  At dinner, they need to use reasonable manners for their age.  If they get out of control, then they have to leave the table and can't have a special treat before bed.  Try to keep it fun while still getting what you need in the end.

howleyshel

hee hee hee....

welcome to every single day of my life!

 

HA!!!

 Here's the best I've got:

1.  Redirect.  When you see that glint in their eyes and you know trouble's coming jump in and recommend a different game or focus of attention.  By  now you should have a sense of that moment or 2 before things head south.  That's your chance to jump in.

2.  Don't allow them to be in the bathroom together for ANYTHING - not even washing hands.  Ask them to go one at a time.  For me 2 of them in there together means a watery mess that I'll have to clean up.

3.  At the table?  They get 1 warning.  After that 1 warning one of them goes to sit at the dining room table.  They sit apart for the following meal as well and then the meal after that I give them the option to sit and eat nicely together or go ahead and start out at different tables.  If you don't have 2 tables go with 2 different eating times.

4.  Regular time outs don't work for some things with us (potty talk) so we had to go hard core.  15 minutes in their room alone is our new "heavy" time out.   For us it usually only takes one of those long, lonely time outs and they really do try harder to behave because they HATE being alone in their rooms that long.

 

Wish I had more for you.

It's tough.

GL!

mabma80

DS1 is 4 and DS2 will be 3 in July. They've been doing that forever. It's normal and not much you can do about it. I take them to the park to burn energy.  Or take them outside for a walk.  All you can do is sit and watch. : )

CD+AL

Heaven help you ladies that do this all the time.  There should be a Nobel Prize for Motherhood, and those of you that have a 3yo and a 4yo at the same time should be at the front of the line for receiving it...either that or first in line for the looney bin.  ) 

Thank you so much for the ideas.  Some of them we've already implemented (1 @ a time in the bathroom), but it's very good to know that a) it's normal and b) there are a few tried and true strategies that we can implement now.  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!