In laws... are you ready?

MLvK · May 2011

So we just got back from my ILs for too many days. Sunday night through this morning. Here is a run down of the crazy...

1) On Monday I ran into Publix for like 5 minutes. I got back into the car, Evie was in the third row w/ MIL. I turned to say something to Evie to find red lipstick on her lips. I literally stopped mid-sentence and said "Oh my God" in a tone that conveyed my dislike. Even Evie looked annoyed by it. I asked her later if she asked Omi for the lipstick and she said no. I asked if Omi just put it on her and she said yes. I'm inclined to believe my daughter.

2) I did not take it off of her. An hour after we got home, my MIL said "why does Evie get the lipstick all over the walls and furniture?" I said because she's three and shouldn't wear lipstick. Nico said, maybe next time you'll think twice before you put make up on her. I asked her to kindly wait until Evie is 15 before she does that again. Ummm, but seriously, it surprised her that Evie wasn't more careful not to transfer it while playing? I hope it wasn't too hard to clean up, but it wasn't my mess to clean, so I did not offer to help.

3) we went to a restaurant for lunch yesterday and she wanted Evie to sit on the edge of a potted plant because she didn't think another chair would fit at the table.

4) They spent the entire time trying to convince us that whenever we needed a vacation we could just stay at their house because it would be free for us. (ummmm, its not a vacation to visit family!)

5) They could.not.believe it when we said at 5:30-6:00 ish that we were going to go to the beach. Could not believe it. God forbid we do anything fun.

6) The big one was more infuriating that "omg they're so crazy!": This morning Liam was crawling around on the floor and Nico saw him put something in his mouth, and goes to take it out. FIL says, "oh that's just ant poison" then walks into another room and gets on a phone call. Nico and I are left standing there like, WTF!! What do we do? I said I can't exactly call poison control and say I don't know what my son ate but my FIL says its ant poison, what do I do? So Nico decided to go interrupt his call and say, "ummm, not no big deal, we kind of need to know what he ate." And they totally blew it off like no big deal. It took us three attempts to get the name of the poison out of them, at which time, I said "I'm going to google it" to Nico so he could explain to them that YES it IS a big f'n deal when your kid eats any kind of poison. They were like, "but its pet and child friendly! that's why we got it." No, its borax. Its called Terro. I don't care that the website says its safe for kids. Its safe for kids TO BE AROUND. Not to eat. But I could hear them in their room in German complaining about "die Michelle ist verpannt" then FIL comes barging into our room with his laptop to show me the VERY SAME thing I googled saying its ok for kids to be around. I was like, I really don't care. My kid ate ant poison, its a big deal. This was how we ended the trip.

Nico reminded them that when he was a baby he ate rat poison at his grandmothers house and was in the hospital for a few days.

Ugh. I am so glad to be home.

ebearwife · May 2011

Wow. Just damn. Seriously.

decaturbride · May 2011

Holy Sh!t

yellowtulips80 · May 2011

Wtf? Some people......

mrsd0907 · May 2011

Your IL's are a special breed of bsc. Holy sh!t. Who the hell thinks it's ok for a baby to eat any kind of poison, regardless of if it's safe for kids to be around?! I'm glad Liam is ok.

tracigator · May 2011

You know, I know they are BSC. Really, I do, but I never think your stories about them could get any worse than the one from before. I'm always wrong. :-(

MrsL1022 · May 2011

Holy $h!t is right!! They never cease to amaze me...I am glad you are home and left both of them alive.

myrall · May 2011

Cuckoooooo!

slwprincess · May 2011

Gawd Michelle, I don't understand why you wouldn't want to vacation at their ant infested poison palace?!

And please translate ""die Michelle ist verpannt" because I googled it and all I came up with is Michell is verpannt. WTH is verpannt? Is it vermin? Cause if it is, I might have to slap the man for you. Just saying.

donna&ed · May 2011

Wow! Seriously,your in laws are a work of art. How in the world did your DH lived through that?

Hope y'all are recouping from it. Miss you guys. We need to get together soon.

Roci26 · May 2011

Damn! I really can't think of anything else to say, but ask why do you and you DH put yourself to dealing with them? I get their your DH parents, but they've done some pretty sh!tty things to you guys.