BM always seems to be complaing to FI about how broke she is. I get it- you've got four kids and a husband who's disabled (but does get money through the gov- but whatever). Times are hard on all of us. You get your child support. It comes straight out of FI's check. It's not a huge amount- but it's what the courts calculated. You have new iphones- you eat out everyday, try saving some money...We pay for 'extra' activities (the few SD has done). You say 'it's so hard with four kids' as an excuse to why SD is falling behind in school and you aren't taking any steps to help her. Why, then, do you refuse to change the schedule? Why can't we have her weekdays while you take the 'fun' weekends? We've asked so many times. What's the harm in seeing if SD's grades come up? If it lightens the load for you a bit? We've even discussed continuing paying the child support even if the time shifts?
I think I have a pretty good idea why she won't agree. #1- pride. I think she's afraid if she 'gives' up the weekdays she admitting failure or something. #2. Disabled husband needs SD to help watch the other three children (2years and 8 month twins) after school. She had admitted needed SD there because her new husband has had afew accidents- he's blind and one of the younger kids swallowed a coin- after surgery the baby was ok but I think they realize just how lucky they were. I think SD should be doing her homework not looking after 3 under 3...maybe I'm just harsh.
Thanks for letting me vent. Oh, PS- FI is bringing BM $20 tonight because she's just so broke etc etc. Bleh.
OH SIDE NOTE: Not that it matters but...BM's new husband is the man she left FI for.
Re: Another vent- I'll prob delete later...LONG
Well there you have it... why would BM give up her "hard, struggling life" - your FI continues to enable that behavior. Eventually that $20 will turn into $50, etc. I think you have a FI problem...
Unless your sd had no food there is no way in hell I would have been ok with taking bm $20. Your fi needs to grow a set.
I get where you and another poster are venting about your stepkids being responsible for younger kids.They should allowed to be kids and not surrogate parents. But to some degree there is nothing wrong with kids helping watch out for younger brothers or sisters. Im not sure of the age of your sd though. My brother "watched" me every day after school for about an hour till my mom got off work. That was just part of being family.
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Two points and then my IVY.
First - if your DH keeps giving BM money, then HE IS EQUALLY CULPABLE FOR THE WHINING/KVETCHING/MOANING. Every extra cent given to her rewards her behavior.
So stop giving her the money. She may not stop begging, but at least you've stopped being part of the problem.
Second - taking care of the younger kids is part and parcle of being the eldest. I changed my younger brother's diapers at the ripe old age of 9. I watched over my younger sister and brother after school. And my parents are still together.
You have no bone to pick with that one...
So onto my IVY.
Yes you can be upset that SD's grades are atrocious. And you can demand that BM start working with her after she gets home from school.
OR you can stop 'asking' for a different parenting plan and actually start legal proceedings to 'get' more time. The fact that there WAS an accident in the home due to the SF's disability could work in your favor.
BTW - it does not matter that SF is the man that BM left your DH for.