Hi, remember me?
Sorry this is long...
In case you aren't familiar, long story short, I was an Executive Assistant at my last job for almost 3 years. I loved working there, it was a very fun job and really suited my personality. I was never written up or verbally warned about anything. My boss and I had a great working relationship. During the time that I worked there, I became friends with the HR girl. HR girl was really close buds with my immediate boss, and the 3 of us would often get lunch together, and HR girl and I would get lunch together about twice a month. We hung out a few times outside of work, but were definetly more "work friends" than "real friends".
About a month ago we went on an offsite meeting, and I took notes during our group discussions. I took about 20 pages of notes, and was going to type them up, organize, and send out to the group when we got back from the trip.
Then I was really really sick and missed a few days of work, and when I went back in, my Boss and the HR girl pulled me in and fired me. No real reason given, I had no warning whatsoever, and was definetly not thinking that they were planning to let me go, at all. They gave me a severance, and we don't "need" my salary to live, so financially it's not a huge hit to us. But, honestly, I'm pissed off about it. I made a great salary and we were paying a lot extra to our mortgage to pay it off early so we can move, and now we can't do that until I start working again (and I'm going to take the summer off, at least.) Plus after we paid the mortgage down we were going to lease a convertible, we had already started picking out what we wanted, etc. Can't afford that on only DH's salary.
During the meeting, my HR girl was crying. After I signed the termination paperwork, she said "I hope this doesn't affect our friendship, blah blah, care about you, blah blah", and it seemed genuine. She asked if we could meet for lunch and I said "sure"and then "oh, and I have the off-site notes, I'll bring those to lunch"...
The next day, I asked her if I could list her as a reference on my resume. She texted me back "if it doesn't have anything to do with your work, we aren't allowed to". I wrote her that it would be a character reference more than anything else, and she replied "I better not".
The next night DH and I went to dinner and he said "I don't want you to be friends with HR girl anymore, I don't trust her, and it was really shady that she didn't give you any warning about being fired, and that she won't be a reference for you." Keep in mind, DH has never (in 8 years) ever told me not to be friends with someone before.
Well a week later she texted me "when can we get lunch" and i hemmed and hawed internally about it, but wrote her back and said "how about next tuesday". Then Monday afternoon I found out I had a conflict, and texted her to cancel. She wrote me write back and said "that is ok. I was going to have to cancel anyway because baby has a doc appt".
I was pretty pissed...so you already knew you were going to cancel, when were you going to let me know?? Anyway. That was last week.
So this morning she texts me "when are we going to get lunch??" and I was running errands so didn't write her back. So about 5:00 she texts me "can I pick up the notes from the offsite meeting tomorrow? If you aren't going to be home you can just leave them on your front porch or something. Boss keeps asking about them."
So, now I feel like the only reason she even wanted to get lunch was to get those stupid offsite notes. And I'm PISSED about it.
Part of me is like "well maybe Boss should have thought of that before he fired me for no effing reason. And HR girl should have said that she would be a reference for me, we've been friends for 3 years...fuuck them."
And the other part of me says "I have the notes in my hallway closet, it would take me less than a minute to put them on the front porch" and be the bigger person about the whole thing. Stay classy and all that jazz.
******Update: I just talked to DH about it, and I'm going to text her in the morning "the notes are on my front porch" and then that will be the end of it...I'm not going to pursue a friendship with her at all anymore, and it's the right thing to do to give them their notes.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts!! Feel free to still weigh in!