September 2011 Moms

Single Parents?

I don't spend enough time on here to know if anyone has said that they are a single parent or not but I was just curious.

 If you're a single parent, how are you dealing with those questions from others about a significant other not being around? Do you have support where you live from friends and or family? Are you taking a birthing class? If so anyone going with you?

 Reason I ask is because I"m a military wife and my husband deployed a month after the big news. I'm hoping he will be back in time for the birth but we're cutting it short, especially if baby arrives early. So far I've had to be the "single parent." I do have his support from letters, emails and phone calls but I wish he was here with me to feel the first kicks and go to my appointments. Everything I've picked for our registry I've emailed to him and have him help pick my top 3 or something. I know we both planned this pregnancy knowing he would be gone but I still can't help but think of what it would be like to have him. I'm jealous of those that have that support. Now, I also don't have any family members where I live so my friends are my support here, my emergency point of contacts, the ones that will be going with me to the birthing class and if he doesnt' make it home in time, the ones that will be with me at the hospital (I also plan on flying in my mom). So I just wanted to see what other women had to say about being in a similar situation. Do you find it hard and if so how do you deal with it?

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Re: Single Parents?

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    EnamiEnami member

    I feel like a single mom. My FI is continuing on with school, and I'm the only one with a job right now. We're living apart with our parents right now (who only live a few miles apart), and I feel like I have all the worries right now. I show when I stress more so than him, so when I'm freaking over finances or work or taking time off after the baby and he isn't, I feel like I'm the only one who cares. I have to force myself to sit back and realize that we are different people that react in different ways, and just because he isn't freaking out like I am doesn't mean he isn't worried or concerned. But just not living together makes me feel more alone, and I really don't like living with my parents. Our personalities clash a lot, and it makes me stress out even more.

    I feel like when I tell people that I'm living at home with my parents and I'm pregnant, they look at me like I'm white trash. I also hate explaining that we are getting married next summer because I don't want to be seen as a "shot-gun" bride (and we had already set our wedding date). I see all the people I graduated high school with either graduating college, getting married, or sinking into drug addiction. The only one's I know who have kids are married or are feeding off the system. I don't want to be seen as that person, or ever be that person. I hate relying on other people, but I do, and it drives me nuts, and I feel like everyone is judging me for it.

    I think it's hard, and I don't deal with it well, but I admire all the women who actually are successful in being single moms.

    -A well-tended garden is indicative of a well-tended soul.-
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    I am a single mom to be. It's not easy. Most people know my situation and if they don't I don't mind telling them. The guy I dated broke up with me within days of telling him I was pregnant. I don't believe he ended the relationship because of the baby, but it was pretty bad timing.

     I do have an enormous amount of support from my parents. My friends are there for me as well, but I am the first to have a baby so they don't understand. My ex's mother is trying to be there for me as well, but I'm honestly a little afraid of letting her know too much. My ex lives four miles from me and I haven't seen him since mid-February. He calls me about every other week but doesn't seem very interested in my pregnancy or details about the baby. His loss. It is hard for me though. It's very lonely.

    I'd like to go to a birthing class, but I'm not about to go by myself or anyone else. I do plan on going to a breastfeeding class since it's just for mothers. Overall, it's been a lonely road. However, I am thankful to have a daughter on the way.

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    I am also a single mommy to be.  my circle of friends and family know my situation ( ex is a douche) so i dont really talk much about it.  At work I just act like we are still in a relationship ( i know i know) because I am somewhat embarassed to be on my own.  It is not fun going through all these things alone but I do have great friends.  I plan on having a close friend in the delivery room with me and do not plan on taking any birthing classes because i know everyone else will have the fathers with them.  I dont regret the breakup because of who he turned out to be but it is hard not having a man around.  You should have seen me trying to put together a tv stand last night at my new apt LOL
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