Really struggling with discipline

care99

Ladies, I need some help with toddler discipline or I am going to be driven insane by a 3 year old.  Lately Colin has been pushing things to the limit.  He can be a perfect angel and then turn on a dime 2 seconds later.  It's mostly not listening to anything I tell him to do (or not do) and doing things to purposefully antagonize Hayden and cause him to get upset.  Time outs do no good because he uses the time to play, sing, bang on the floor, etc.  I've tried taking away his toys but it doesn't phase him.  We are not fans of spanking but have on occasion and even that does no good.  I'm exhausted and feel like all I do lately is yell.

Any suggestions (outside of reading a book)?  I am not sure if it's becuase he's just trying to get attention from me or is jealous of Hayden or what.  I have been working very long hours since I started a new job in Jan. and I know my perpetual exhaustion and stress from work are just making things worse.  Sorry for the ramble - I'm tired

slwprincess

I have no advice as we are struggling with this right now as well.  You basically just described Gavin exactly.  Timeouts have always worked in the past.  Not now.  He even puts himself in TO and will just sit there and scream.  And if we tell him TO is over and he can come out, he says no... more TO!!!  WTH?  I'm not really a spanker either, but yes, we have given him a swat on the butt a time or two.  It does absolutely no good at all and has only reinforced to me that's not a real solution.  A lot of it is that he wants more time/attention and a lot of it is frustration.  But I also think it's mostly just the age.  I just need to know how long of a phase this is going to be.  Because right now, it feels like the terrible 2's were a piece of cake compared to the 3's. 

maykat

The only thing I could suggest is to reward him when he's really good.  When Alec has acted out, we've taken away his favorite toys, TV, and movies.  Then when he acts really well, we praise the hell out of him and he just soaks it up like a ham.

dbryson

I had to read your message out loud to my husband.  We are going through the same thing with Ridge.  I was starting to think he might have some type of problem.  And Colton is now reaching the "two" age. I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

I don't have any advice except one large glass of red wine each night (for you).

Temp925407062502290

Have you tried the reward chart yet?  I bought one due to all of this behavior and now I have to get it out and use it.  At School Box they have the Melissa & Doug one for $20.  They have other great ones too.  Let him pick out his HUGE reward at the end of the week and tell him he is getting a warning and if he doesn't stop then he will not get the reward.

donna&ed

care99:

Ladies, I need some help with toddler discipline or I am going to be driven insane by a 3 year old.  Lately Colin has been pushing things to the limit.  He can be a perfect angel and then turn on a dime 2 seconds later.  It's mostly not listening to anything I tell him to do (or not do) and doing things to purposefully antagonize Hayden and cause him to get upset.  Time outs do no good because he uses the time to play, sing, bang on the floor, etc.  I've tried taking away his toys but it doesn't phase him.  We are not fans of spanking but have on occasion and even that does no good.  I'm exhausted and feel like all I do lately is yell.

Any suggestions (outside of reading a book)?  I am not sure if it's becuase he's just trying to get attention from me or is jealous of Hayden or what.  I have been working very long hours since I started a new job in Jan. and I know my perpetual exhaustion and stress from work are just making things worse.  Sorry for the ramble - I'm tired

Carrie. I could have typed this word for word. We are going thru the same with William. Hopefully, it's just a by product of being in the car for long since we've been going to Savannah every weekend.

Julesag

I swear, it has to be the age, as these boys are mostly about the same age, give or take a few months. Connor absolutely drives us to the brink sometimes. The only things that have worked for us (and "work" is a relative term) is to take away his most favorite things at the moment - his cape/mask and watching Spiderman or Batman on TV. And, I just ignore, threaten to leave him or tell him he's not my friend anymore because he's made Mommy mad/sad, whatever. I'm sure I lose good Mommy points for this, but we're back in the phase of whatever works. All of this is easy for me to say, though, since he has no siblings.

Julie

rara855

sigkapbride:

Have you tried the reward chart yet?  I bought one due to all of this behavior and now I have to get it out and use it.  At School Box they have the Melissa & Doug one for $20.  They have other great ones too.  Let him pick out his HUGE reward at the end of the week and tell him he is getting a warning and if he doesn't stop then he will not get the reward.

I am going today and grabbing one of these. Thanks for the idea. Jackson is very visual so this may help him. I could have written this too. Most of the time he is so well behaved but, like you said in a split second he can just get so out of control.  

LaruC27

care99:

Ladies, I need some help with toddler discipline or I am going to be driven insane by a 3 year old.  Lately Colin has been pushing things to the limit.  He can be a perfect angel and then turn on a dime 2 seconds later.  It's mostly not listening to anything I tell him to do (or not do) and doing things to purposefully antagonize Hayden and cause him to get upset.  Time outs do no good because he uses the time to play, sing, bang on the floor, etc.  I've tried taking away his toys but it doesn't phase him.  We are not fans of spanking but have on occasion and even that does no good.  I'm exhausted and feel like all I do lately is yell.

Any suggestions (outside of reading a book)?  I am not sure if it's becuase he's just trying to get attention from me or is jealous of Hayden or what.  I have been working very long hours since I started a new job in Jan. and I know my perpetual exhaustion and stress from work are just making things worse.  Sorry for the ramble - I'm tired

 

I hate that you are going through this too.  Addison is the exact.same.way right now and I am absolutely at my wits end. We have the same issues with TO that once she is in and it is time to get out she won't but when she needs to go because of hitting or kicking or just not listening she yells 'I don't want to!'  Her teachers even took away outside time the other day because she wasn't listening at school and they say that is not like her (lucky them).

 She enjoys 'camping out' at bedtime so that is the main thing that gets taken away and generally the threat of taking it away straitens her right up but I am completely exhausted to the point of tears. I may have to give the reward chart a try.  Thanks for the advice and knowing that we aren't alone in this and it will pass.  

MLvK

I deal with this occasionally with Evie too.  Most of the time she is so good, but she gets it into her head sometimes how she wants things to be and she is impossible to get out of it.   At home, I feel like I have the leverage but in public I want to cry.   I mostly resort to bribery.  I keep lollypops and gummy bear packs in my purse just to get her out of stores or into her car seat at times. 

I haven't ever spanked her but there have been times I've wanted to.  I've found that yelling does no good, so I don't even do that any more.  But I do find myself getting very snippy with her, which I don't like.   And talking to her through gritted teeth.   The hardest part about the being in public thing is that I cannot physically remove her from a situation when I have her brother to deal with too.  She is so big and strong now that she requires two hands.   I think she knows this so most of her antics happen in public. 

This phase cannot end soon enough, even as few and far between as they occur, they are maddening.