Is this selfish ? — The Bump
Military Families

Is this selfish ?

Hello ladies,

DH is currently in Iraq and is scheduled to have R&R sometime this next month. During the summer DH has visitation with his DS7 and bc he is deployed this summer's visitation will consist of the two weeks he will be on leave. DH and I have been together for over 4yrs and our one year wedding anniversary will fall under the R&R dates. Is it selfish for me to plan a getaway during those 2 weeks for just me and DH to celebrate our anniversary? The getaway that I have in mind has us leaving at noon on Saturday and returning by noon on Sunday. I want it to be a surprise but I am not sure if DH will think I am taking away from time with his son. Thoughts? Am I being selfish ?

BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Re: Is this selfish ?

  • In my opinion, I think one night is not too much to ask to have alone with your husband during his leave. I would think that he would be as happy to have some quality alone time with you, as well. But if you're unsure of how he'll react, maybe it would be better to discuss it instead of springing it on him.
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  • No, you're not being selfish at all. Seriously. When DH got in from Afghanistan I picked him up at the airport alone.. My MIL watched DD for the night and then we spent time with the family for a few days before we went off on another get away. It's important that you get quality time in.
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  • Thanks ladies! I just feel since everything else during R&R is family/child oriented it is ok to take one day for just us.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • I think you should have some quality time just the two of you, just like he should have some quality time with his kid. As long as you fit both in, I don't see anything selfish about that.
    imageimage
  • It's definitely not selfish, you need alone time with him as much as he needs it with his DS. But I agree that if you are questioning it, dont surprise him with it, talk to him about it.

    BabyFruit Ticker image
  • Wow.....I find it appalling that because you didn't like what people said to you on Military Nesties that you have to change your story and re post it on thebump.com.  I really feel sorry for your stepson who will be the one hurt in this whole situation. Indifferent
  • imagePhotoFan:
    Wow.....I find it appalling that because you didn't like what people said to you on Military Nesties that you have to change your story and re post it on thebump.com.  I really feel sorry for your stepson who will be the one hurt in this whole situation. Indifferent

     

    since you seem to think that you know more than everyone else does in this post please point out what I changed .... bc its my life so I know its the same story ...

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

    imagePhotoFan:
    Wow.....I find it appalling that because you didn't like what people said to you on Military Nesties that you have to change your story and re post it on thebump.com.  I really feel sorry for your stepson who will be the one hurt in this whole situation. Indifferent

     

    since you seem to think that you know more than everyone else does in this post please point out what I changed .... bc its my life so I know its the same story ...

    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Hello ladies, DH is currently in Iraq and is scheduled to have R&R sometime this next month. During the summer DH has visitation with his DS7 and bc he is deployed this summer's visitation will consist of the two weeks he will be on leave. DH and I have been together for over 4yrs and our one year wedding anniversary will fall under the R&R dates. Is it selfish for me to plan a getaway during those 2 weeks for just me and DH to celebrate our anniversary? The getaway that I have in mind has us leaving at noon on Saturday and returning by noon on Sunday. I want it to be a surprise but I am not sure if DH will think I am taking away from time with his son. Thoughts? Am I being selfish for wanting one day to celebrate with my husband ?
    "It's kind of wenchy to change your OP from a two week vacation to a one day getaway. Add a new reply, crazy cakes."

     

    And that came from a poster named MrsOjoButtons not even me so I rest my case!  Good try though! 

     

  • imagePhotoFan:
    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

    imagePhotoFan:
    Wow.....I find it appalling that because you didn't like what people said to you on Military Nesties that you have to change your story and re post it on thebump.com.  I really feel sorry for your stepson who will be the one hurt in this whole situation. Indifferent

     

    since you seem to think that you know more than everyone else does in this post please point out what I changed .... bc its my life so I know its the same story ...


    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Hello ladies, DH is currently in Iraq and is scheduled to have R&R sometime this next month. During the summer DH has visitation with his DS7 and bc he is deployed this summer's visitation will consist of the two weeks he will be on leave. DH and I have been together for over 4yrs and our one year wedding anniversary will fall under the R&R dates. Is it selfish for me to plan a getaway during those 2 weeks for just me and DH to celebrate our anniversary? The getaway that I have in mind has us leaving at noon on Saturday and returning by noon on Sunday. I want it to be a surprise but I am not sure if DH will think I am taking away from time with his son. Thoughts? Am I being selfish for wanting one day to celebrate with my husband ?
    "It's kind of wenchy to change your OP from a two week vacation to a one day getaway. Add a new reply, crazy cakes."

     

    And that came from a poster named MrsOjoButtons not even me so I rest my case!  Good try though! 

     

     

     

    The trip was ALWAYS 24hrs but when I first posted this on another board there was confusion  on the way I worded it .... So how is it "wenchy" for me to reword it on another board to make sure there isnt more confusion???

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • imagePhotoFan:
    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

    imagePhotoFan:
    Wow.....I find it appalling that because you didn't like what people said to you on Military Nesties that you have to change your story and re post it on thebump.com.  I really feel sorry for your stepson who will be the one hurt in this whole situation. Indifferent

     

    since you seem to think that you know more than everyone else does in this post please point out what I changed .... bc its my life so I know its the same story ...


    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    Hello ladies, DH is currently in Iraq and is scheduled to have R&R sometime this next month. During the summer DH has visitation with his DS7 and bc he is deployed this summer's visitation will consist of the two weeks he will be on leave. DH and I have been together for over 4yrs and our one year wedding anniversary will fall under the R&R dates. Is it selfish for me to plan a getaway during those 2 weeks for just me and DH to celebrate our anniversary? The getaway that I have in mind has us leaving at noon on Saturday and returning by noon on Sunday. I want it to be a surprise but I am not sure if DH will think I am taking away from time with his son. Thoughts? Am I being selfish for wanting one day to celebrate with my husband ?
    "It's kind of wenchy to change your OP from a two week vacation to a one day getaway. Add a new reply, crazy cakes."

     

    And that came from a poster named MrsOjoButtons not even me so I rest my case!  Good try though! 

     

     

     

    The trip was ALWAYS 24hrs but when I first posted this on another board there was confusion  on the way I worded it .... So how is it "wenchy" for me to reword it on another board to make sure there isnt more confusion???

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

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