freaking out about shower (sorry so long)

bhw5660

Trying to stay calm about it but freaking out inside about my baby shower.  2 friends/co-workers said they wanted to throw a shower months ago and I said great.  They had a falling out and I figured no shower but my mom then tells me that my sister was planning on doing one so woohoo!  Well, one friend says she is still going to throw a work/local shower and again I said woohoo!  But lately, I haven't heard anything about the work shower (maybe it will be a surprise) and I'm not even going to think/worry about it.

But my sister doesn't seem to be doing things in a timely manner.  The shower my sister is giving is supposed to be in 3 weeks and no invitations have been sent out!!!  They have booked the place and ordered invitations (don't know why they had to be ordered) and long ago, the OCD in me suggested to my mom that invites should be sent out at least 6 weeks in advance.  People from out of town are being invited and I just think its rude to assume that people will be able to get flights, arrange plans, etc. with such a short time window especially with June being a busy month.  My niece's confirmation is that weekend so it is why my sister and mom suggested it so that my mom wouldn't have to come up twice.

When my mom realized invites weren't even being sent out 4 weeks in advance, she suggested I contact some of the out of town people to give them a heads up.  I feel that a little email/evite save-the-date could have been sent awhile ago and it shouldn't have become my job to do this.

I also feel like no one will be at my shower which makes me sad because I haven't lived in this area for very long and don't have a ton of friends so I was hoping family from both sides would be able to come.  And I don't want people to get the invite so late and think I am just fishing for gifts.  I even suggested that they host it in an area that was more convenient to my sister due to confirmation activities on the same day.  I had to also kind of take some control with my bridal shower which my sister hosted and was really trying to relax and release on this one.  I haven't been asking questions about it or anything but I'm not sure why my sister would be so lackadaisical when she knows how I am about events.

Am I freaking out for no reason?

heather_09_15_07

You expect people to fly in for your baby shower?

Just let your sister plan it as she said she would.

bhw5660

I figured that some family members would fly or at least drive to it.  My husband's cousin just had a baby with his wife and family came from out of town for the shower a few months ago.  I just don't like the late notice.  And they make fun of how I am about events and planning but then leave things till the last minute and now want to get me involved.  I don't want to seem ungrateful so I'm not talking to my family about how I feel about it so I'm venting on here.

deltagirl79

I'm sorry that she's not doing it your way. I'm the same way as you, so I get the stress, but you were right in your first thought...you need to relax. Just sit back and enjoy that she is putting anything together for you. You said at the begining you weren't expecting a shower so go back to that and appriciate the people that can make it. You'll probably have more than you think and if you can relax you'll enjoy it much more.

Can your mom send out the email save the dates? As the guest of honor you shouldn't have to do that.

bunnymama625

Don't expect a lot of flying in-- that's pretty rare for a baby shower-

and dont worry about the lack of notice-- it doesn't make you look bad, just your sister

I do think your mom/sister should call for the save the dates-- a little tacky for you to do it yourself.

I've had 2 baby showers so far-- one big, one teeny-- the teeny one was work and b/c of the time, LOTS of people couldn't come-- I still had fun

bhw5660

Thanks for letting me vent on this.  I just learned the invitations are mailed so that has been a relief. I think I've just been stressed with work so this bothered me more than it should have.

Now my father in law is trying to attend the shower which I think is crazy.  Its not a co-ed shower and from the day we announced I was pregnant, he said he didn't want to know what we are having.  I am not going to sit thru a shower trying to hide that important fact.  I just told hubby that he and his father are welcome to come and will be the only men there but he risks finding out we are having a girl. 

BallSox

Ditto Heather, people flying in is not very likely to happen.  Honestly, the farthest I'd drive for a shower is about 2 hours and that's for my non-existent sister, ykwim? 

 

Hollally

I am sorry this is stressing you out, and I'm not trying to be rude, but expecting people to buy plane tickets with three weeks notice is INSANE! have you looked at the prices of flights right now? I don't know how far they will be flying but my best frind just bought a ticket to Texas for the last week in July from Portland, Or and had to pay 1,500 for ONE ticket, and she is flying commercial and not 1st class or anything crazy. I chose a date for my shower pretty early on and my out of town guests have already purchased their plane tickets for September. I am in no way planning my own shower, I just wanted to make sure that the out of towners had plenty of advance notice.

Yeah.. sorry to say it.. I would be worried about the invites not be sent out yet, especially if your friends and family have not heard about it through word of mouth or from you prior to getting an invite.

I would post something on my facebook wall about being super excited about my shower on (whatever date) That way people have some clue that it is coming up without you contacting your guests directly. Some might think  that's tacky, but i  don'tsee an issue with it.

I hope your plans work out and your shower is everything you want it to be! Best wishes.